Adagio Breezes

A lot to say but no reason to tell it here.

For those of you that are Fiona Apple fans, Sony Entertainment has but the kibosh on her 3rd album, for fear that there are no 'singles' and therefore a worthless album. If you enjoy the 'Shadowboxer'-type stuff, go to this site and download the entire album for free. I'm giving it a listen now and it's good stuff. Makes me want to dig her other albums out.

I had a dream last night where I was making out with Alex Borstein from Mad TV at some up-scale restaurant. She was feeding me strawberries, and then kissing me. I guess this means I "kiss-a like-a man". Speaking of Mad TV, it's on right now. Weird.

Giving up on giving in

Tonight I had drinks with Michael and some English Major named Melissa and we talked about movies and how to properly make banana pudding the easiest way. The most fun I've had in a long time.

Tonight I colored Easter Eggs with my niece, my sister and her boyfriend. I found out that pink and purple egg dyes will produce the exact same egg color.

Tonight I talked to Brigette while her son was wanting to play games on the PS2. Her and the kids went Easter egg hunting a day early and made out like bandits. Bib said they picked up about 60 I think. Oh yeah, I think they did good.

Today I figured out that the Love's Truckstop just north of Seminole has free wireless internet. That's where the previous blog post was made from.

Today I listened to an interview with Gene Wilder and it made me want to check out 'Hanky Panky' and the original 'The Producers'.

Today, as Ice Cube would say, was a good day.

Thank goodness for NPR

Moms, Shepheard's Hotels and Gene Wilder can cure all things.

I've a hankering to watch Young Frankenstein. Maybe I'll rent it this weekend.

Everybody got Easter plans this weekend?

It is time

It is time I stop pushing Brigette.
It is time I stop abusing my body
It is time I start eating better
It is time I start giving without expecting back
It is time I open my eyes
It is time to stop grieving for people
It is time to stop feeling sorry for myself
The time is 1:16 AM

:Begin:

Fells like I am falling for the first time

Ok, Bib cribbed this type of post from somebody else, and now I am going to do it too. It's just a list of things you may or may not know about me. Some may shock, and some may disappoint, but it's me, so take it or leave it.

I once traded my G.I. Joe Zartan figure with swamp skiff to a friend for half of an Arby's sandwich.

I have fallen in love twice, and both times it has hurt.

I try to please to many people, and as such I don't always remain true to myself.

I sometimes smoke, but not on a regular habit. Only when stressed or the Tourette's is really bothering me.

I sometimes drink just to drink.

When I love somebody, I tend to go deep, and will set myself up for hurt later on by expecting things that the other person can not deliver.

I like to kiss in the rain.

I have porn on my computer, as well as stashed in my closet somewhere.

I have my father's laugh, and I like that about myself.

I have my father's fingers, and I hate that about myself.

I have my mother's eyes, and I've been told they are my best feature.

My first girlfriend was a girl named Megan whom I went to the same babysitters and she would kiss me, much to my chagrin.

I have made love under the stars, and I can not tell you how cool that is.

When I was about 7, I would pee under the edge of the couch instead of getting up and go to the bathroom. It wasn't until Mom caught me and made me clean the carpet that I stopped.

I still watch cartoons, even little kid cartoons. And I don't even have kids to watch them with.

I can't stand watching sitcoms, and think most of the stuff on network television to be absolute crap.

I like to watch a woman put on makeup, it's such a strange and beautiful process.

I like to smell my partner's hair and skin when in bed, and when on the couch, just lying in each other's arms.

I get drunk way to easily. Despite my size I can not hold my liquor.

I don't want to be a silver medal. But I also don't want to be discarded.

A woman with beautiful eyes can easily entrance me. Not about lust, mind you. But she will draw my attention.

I am about 15 years behind in music. I still listen to Pixies, early Juliana Hatfield, That Dog and Belly. And I will crank the music up if it's some cheesy 80's song. Especially "Come on Eileen" and "Take On Me"

I tend to worry about things that I have no control over. I also have a hard time of letting go of people I love.

Two friends of mine and I once drew pictures of faces on our butts and took pictures of them.

I cry often at things that touch my heart. I am very soft hearted despite my appearence.
I want to learn Japanese, guitar, and make my own comic strip.

I need to loose weight and keep it off. I also need to clean my shower out, scrub both my toilets and sweep in the kitchen.

I have kept putting off fully unpacking because I keep thinking I'll be leaving for some reason.

I read manga, Home Theater magazines and Toy Fare. Sometimes, but not often, I will read Maxim, but only for the sophmoric humor, product reviews and articles, not the women. After all, I have porn, I don't need Maxim for 'that'.

I surf the internet way, way to much.

More often than not I will 'blank out' and sleep at work. Not for long, but for about 15 minutes at least I can not account for that time. Working nights, sitting in front of a computer, not moving around will sometimes get to you.

I been to a strip club twice. Both times I enjoyed it and at the same time felt guilty. I don't plan on going ever again.

I want to visit Las Vegas, DisneyWorld, Orlando Studio's, Japan, and Ireland. I also want to see the ocean from a boat, maybe a cruise ship.

I plan on taking my dad deep sea fishing before too long. Just a trip for the two of us. I will pay for the trip, maybe make it 60 year birthday present for him.

When my father and stepmom pass away, I will hurt for a very long time. Seeing as the death of my mother still hurts, I can't imagine losing my one remaining parent, and the woman that helped raise me from snotty little brat to the weird chunky guy I am today. I don't look forward to seeing them pass away.

I want to be the "One", but I don't want to be second best. I fear that's what I am. I also fear that I am behind someone else 'in line'.

I regret hurting Jennifer the way I did. I wish I hadn't done it the way I did, but now I just hope she finds happiness and love again.

I can pick things up with my toes and can even write my name with my feet.

I have never beaten any game I've owned except Super Mario Brothers and Maniac Mansion for the NES.

I have lied to friends and family, and wished I hadn't. Sometimes I've told the truth and wished I hadn't done that either.

I have edited this post to fit my mood. If you don't like it, I don't care, so...there!

Keepin' it in the black

Businesses like to say "Keep it in the black", they are refering to the way they keep their books. Black ink means profit, red means profit loss. This week has been good as far as workouts go. I've kept it in the black, meaning I'm doing what I want to, by losing the weight, ergo- profit. I'm *gaining* my life back, pound by pound.

I talked to Adam on Thursday night, had a good conversation. It made me really miss him, and hopefully when he comes down this way in May or so, I'll get to see him. I also really need to make plans to go see him in Geneseo, New York sometime. It's sad that not a single person in Oklahoma has went to go see him since he moved out to New York. I've been meaning to go for some time, so maybe come October, when certain moons and planets align to form something cool, I can make the trek. More on that later.

It's almost been a month since I've seen Bib's kids. Between staying up here in O-Town and only seeing her when they are in school, I haven't had a chance to see them. I've talked to them over the phone while their mother was passed out from sickness, but that's just not the same. Bib told me that Brenden said that I hadn't seen him in forever and that he probably grew a whole foot since I've seen him last. Folks, this is but one of the many reasons why Bren and I will get along famously. I want to make it a point to see them both this weekend. Here that Brigette? I'm seeing your chitlins! Mwahaha!

This blog is carb-friendly

Being a person of certain poundage, I've struggled with my weight since I was in the fifth grade. And I've tried a variety of weight-loss styles and diets. One of which, the Atkins (or if you'd believe in Foamy, the Fat-Kins) I had success with, but none so much as the tried and true "Stop eating so much you fat bastard" diet. And that's the one I'm on now.
Back in 2001, I had done a regimine of Tae Bo (that hurt so much) and a diet of low fat meats and brown rice, along with some veggies. Stuff just fell off of me, but like always, I got sick. Bad sick. And when I'm sick, I don't feel like adhering to a diet and exercise program, and so after I got sick, I never started up again, and as such, got fat again.

But see, now I've got an edge. Now I know where my failures lie and with that knowledge I can better arm myself for the weight-loss battle. And oh yes, it is a battle. It's a pain-in-the-ass battle that I have fought and lost several times in my life.

I've heard the new scientific studies, one type of person is an endo-morph, another kind is an exo-morph and another kind is yet another kind of yadda yadda morph... I say, be happy with who you are. And if you're not happy, then change yourself. But not to the point of being unhealthy. If you are not happy, but healthy, then the problem probably lies in your head, and not your body. Between the extremes of anorexia and morbid obesity, lies a wide range of healthy, and I want to be in that range. And I'm going to do it, I just need time.

Also, Brigette threated to kill me if I died from being fat. I'm not sure I would want a postumous ass-kicking, but I'm sure I would deserve it if I don't change something soon. Tonight, I had leftover rice with some veggies for 'breakfast' and for lunch here at work I had carrots and radishes (yum!) and for a snack I just had some fat-free yogurt. If I can keep this up with the elipical workouts, I should start seeing something soon.

And who knows, maybe I'll take Michael up on his offer to help me with my style, or lack of, once I loose enough weight to where I don't hate having my shirt tucked in. That maybe a subconsious reason why I haven't moved to days or swings yet. I just don't want to dress up. Hmmm... something to ponder.
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Speaking of things to ponder, A-Kon 16 is fast approaching. If you'd like to see the Ill Will Press's "Rules of the Masses" that was made for and debuted there at A-Kon 15, watch
this and have a laugh. Carefull though, there is boob manipulation...

Don't deny it, I'm a hot guy

There is just something cool about working out to until you raise your body temperature to a level that when you step outside and it's chilly, steam rises up off of your body. That feeling, just the raw energy I got from that this morning was tremendous. That just fuels me to want to work out more. I'm not seeing results yet and I don't expect to for a few weeks, but I'm laying the foundation.

I haven't told many people this, but Bib turned me on to Phentermine. It's a doctor perscribed appitite suppresant and it works pretty well, as long as you take it a few hours before your biggest meal, but not too late in the day. I'm hoping that with exercise and proper diet, I can undo what it's taken me years to pack on. I know it will take a while to take off, but I'm making a small bet with myself. If I can loose a pre-set weight (only I know it) by A-Kon, I will purchase for myself a Global santaku knife. I'm a big fan of Global, as any Bourdain-Follower would be, and I've been wanting one for a few years. So, if I can do everything right between now and June 3rd, that puppy is mine.

April is a little ticked at me right now. I took her to the vets office Monday and he told me that she would have to take some oral antibiotics for the next week for her leg wound, and if that doesn't work, then he'll have to cut the infected section of her leg out. So I've been risking some serious feline attitude by forcing her to take her medication. I was having problems with it until Patrick clued me in on how to wrangle a cat and get them to take pills or drops. So now I can get her to take it, but she's currently not to happy with me. Oh well, I would rather her be a little upset than to have to deal with her having surgury.

I trust everybody picked up their widescreen release of The Incredibles? Sure you did... you're smart people. I got a free mini-basketball with mine. What in the world am I going to do with a midget-sized ball? I didn't know why I got it, but it set about me to giggle like a little girl.

Feeling good, could look better

Had a fantastic workout this morning. I don't know what it is about working out, but it always puts me in a good mood. I'm going to make it a point to try much harder the following month to stick to the gym. Afterwards I was inspired to buy lots of healthy food, so fresh fruits, fish, and frozen veggies were a big thing. I even bought radishes!! I love radishes in my salads, but I never buy them. I will think to myself, passing those little red balls by, "I would really like some radishs in my salad sometime." Then I thought, well why not? It's just me eating it right? No one is going to go "Ewww, radishes?" So I figured I would get some. And I got some brocolli as well, cauliflower, carrots, celery, baby spinach, some peaches, bananas and some lovely plums. I'm all about peaches, and these smelled heavenly. I hope they taste as good as their aroma.

I'm in a good mood this morning. I figured I could either obsess about something I have no control over, or I could go on about my life until the situation changes. So I figured I would go on about my life. Being stuck in a rut will do nothing but bring me down and make me miserable. And I'm tired of being miserable over this situation. I've done it in the past and I've been doing it for the past month, so I am going to change my attitude, change my body and change my health. And if I can change my sprititual health, then that would be a great thing as well. God help me, I'll overcome and be a good, fun guy again.

Well, going to get my head cropped, get April patched up and get my oil changed. Then it's time to come back, clean up a bit and maybe watch some of the Buffy that Paul loaned me. Good times.

Just listening to the music in my head

Gloria Gaynor, give me your wisdom... 
I will be strong. I will be fair. I want to be great. I am great. I will be even greater still. In fact, mark my words, I will strive to be the greatest yet. Damn Cosmic Fate, as she will not come between me and my future.

Oh, the things I do.

So, I came home today to a lonely cat. I flip the TV on, it's Discovery Health, it's a show on obesity and the options to cure those with it. So natually, I make a short stack of pancakes and eat them with syrup while watching this show on my fat butt...

I'm in a depressive funk. No, it's not why you think, it's something else. I don't know what to do. I have no desire to go out of the apartment this weekend. If I even see a ray of sunshine before Wednesday, it would be a miracle.

I think it was Lou Reed that said...

Anyone who's ever had a heart
Wouldn't turn around and break it
and anyone who's ever played a part
Wouldn't turn around and hate it
Sweet Jane, sweet Jane
Sweet, sweet Jane

You're waiting for Jimmy down in the alley
Waiting there for him to come back home
Waiting down on the corner
and thinking of ways to get back home
Sweet Jane, sweet Jane
Sweet, sweet Jane

Anyone who's ever had a dream
Anyone who's ever played a part
Anyone who's ever been lonely
and anyone who's ever split apart
Sweet Jane, sweet Jane
Sweet, sweet Jane

Heavenly widened roses
seem to whisper to me when you smile
Heavenly widened roses
seem to whisper to me when you smile

Growing up

There are things that I've noticed since growing up, or at the least, reaching a certain age, that I didn't know when I was younger. Allow me to share with you some of these things.

Using coupons doesn't mean you're poor, it just means you know the value of a dollar.

You don't always have to have the biggest and most expensive in your 'toys', sometimes, a little goes a long way.

Sometimes, it's good to get on the ground and play with your kids, grandkids or nieces/nephews. They will remember you as a fun person. This will come in handy later in life.

Always tell them (whomever) that you love them. You never know when you will never get a chance again.

It's NEVER to late to A: Save money for retirement, B: Learn something new, or C: Drop a bad habit.

Saying "Please" and "Thank you" are general forms of being polite. ALWAYS be polite, until it's time to not be polite.

Talking to an old friend is a good pick me up, as is a serving of tiramisu.

Comfort food is not to be eaten everyday.

Sometimes, it's perfectly ok to be a slob. And then there are times when it's not.

If you found that person that gives you butterflies in your stomach, tell them as soon as possible. There's no sense in keeping it bottled up until it makes you crazy.

Going to church dosen't make you a Christian any more than going into a garage makes you a car. It takes faith and strength, and it will show in your deeds and actions.

Don't hate somebody for their skin color, their gender, their religon or their nationality. You'll realize that just by getting to know somebody there are many other reasons to think someone's a jerk.

The axiom about those in glass houses is true. Nobody is perfect, and nobody knows everything. That includes me and that includes you.

Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar.

A good cry is needed every now and then. May I suggest The Notebook if you're wanting to have one?

Adversly, a good mindless movie about stuff blowing up is good too. May I suggest a reviewing of True Lies?

If you drink, for Heaven's sake, be smart enough to know that if you get behind a steering wheel, going to jail is on the smaller end of the scale of things that can go wrong. Killing someone would be on the other end of that scale. Know when to give your keys up and crash were you are. Also, drunken calls to your ex is a bad idea.

If you've got anymore more things you've learned since your late teens/early 20's, let me hear them.

Haiku about work

Almost time to leave
Had a Novel class at first
Sleep forever now

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I'm not one for shilling (ok, I am) but Superpope has gotten some publicity as far as his religion goes. It seems some athiest has deceided to attack David on his website and it seems very kneejerk reactionish that this guy (TealTerror) can't seem to converse without attacking or cursing. If you feel like you're up for a debate on the subject of Christianity, give a looksee over here and give your support if you'd like. I'm really wanting Michael to get in on this, because if there's anybody that is going to shoot holes in something, it's the ace marksman himself.

To Bizzy... From Momotizzle

I simply adore you. I had fun tonight, even if we watched some guy getting toes sewed onto his hands. I love you very much and I thank you for being a part of my life. Hopefully tomorrow your dad and I can get my haircut on! For Rizzel, Bizzy!

Note to Michael and David: Also thanks to you for sharing a splendid dinner with me. I know David will never read this, but maybe his wife can pass it on. :-) And Erin, please tell your mother and sister I wasn't ignoring them, I just didn't know them.

Note to Smitty: Your cooking prowness knows no bounds. I await the day that you and I can share a kitchen again. The only thing that could have made dinner better Sunday night was our world Famous Chedder Biscuits. And that includes no olives!!!

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I found out today that my niece has added some spicy language to her vocabulary. Little Paige has said some words at day care that shouldn't be uttered by little children. My sister Brooke (Hi Brooke!) told mom that she was going to wash Paige's mouth out with soap if she heard she had been doing it again. Mom laughed and said she should wash Brooke's mouth out in turn as she knew where Paige was getting it from.

Is that even doable? Do people really wash kid's mouths out with soap still? I keep thinking of that scene in "The Christmas Story" were Ralphie says "fudge" and get's the dreaded treatment. Anyway, thought it made for an interesting ending to a blog post. Later gators!

Gettin' my vacuum on

A little dusty... 

As soon as I turned the Beast on, the cat disappeared and I've yet to see her since. This is what the first go through sucked up. A full bin of hair, dust and other dirty things. I can only assume this is a good thing. Once this is up, it will stop bothering my allergies, and for that I'm happy. Now to do the other rooms. I eagerly await to see what that turns up. *grins*

This morning's workout was cut short by some cow who said she 'reserved' the elipticals for her and her friend. I've looked at the board after she said this and I didn't see jack squat about her and her workout buddy. I was almost through, so I only missed 7 minutes, but still... I was a little miffed.

A little sad, a little maudlin, a little melancholey...

Had a headache yesterday that lasted about 14 hours, so sleep was an impossibility. No matter what I took, it never went away. It wasn't until 3:30 A.M. that I took some extra-strength Motrin that it waned enough for me to smile to myself. Ick...

I've been busted down to friend status with Bib. She's has an agenda and I want her to manage it before she moves to me. She's got to get her personal life in order if I am ever going to be a good thing in her life, so I will be waiting for a bit I suppose. But hey, I'm good at waiting. What's a few more years on top of eleven already, right?

Going to finally bust out the Vacuum of Death today, see what it can do. Hopefully suck all the hair, dust and crumbs that have accumulated in the five months I've been here. It's about time I guess. It's about time for a lot of things. I just hope I can do them all.

Monday Monday, So Good To Me

Oh, it's early Wednesday is it? My bad...

Sunday was good. I'll start there. Mary had a modest but very fun birthday party. It was Brigette's family and myself there, so I felt honored to be part of 'the fam'. Mar-Bear made out like a bandit! All kinds of clothes, shoes, berets, two Bratz make-up doll heads, a Barbie, a watch, some jewelry, two kinds of ice cream and a personalized birthday cake... very happy little girl she was. While the rest of the family was playing Moon, Bib, Mary and Tilly showed me what was done to the house since I had been gone. Quite a bit as it turns out! Kitchen cabnets were built and installed, just like some finishing touches on them and they will be done. Bib has been painting like a madwoman and did the kitchen, the main bedroom, and the living room. Some more shelves were installed and were looking good. It's going to be a very nice place when she finally gets in there. I hung out with dad the other part of the day, which consisted of watching television and talking during commercials. Hey, I'll take what I can get with my pop.

Monday I finally got to see Paul and spend time with him. We tooled around Ada for a bit, then drove to Norman to fool around. We didn't spend much time there, but I did see Pip of all people! Pip (Phillip to normal people) has returned to working jewelry repair. He was part of the original Norman crew, and was the only one that didn't leave in '99. I suppose he had loved it so much he had stayed there. In any case, Paul and I came back, picked up his wife Christi and son David and had dinner with Smitty and Theran. We all went back to Paul's house and talked for a while, during which I got in a tickle match with Theran which promptly ended when he kicked me in the mouth by accident. Lesson learned on that one... :-) I also got a hug from lil' David, who is 19 months, and that just made my day. He's such a sweet kid and I envy Paul for having such a great relationship with him.

Not much else happened this weekend, other than my sister's boyfriend coming over to Mom and Dad's house Tuesday morning at around 2 AM. He was extremely sick, so I'm not entirely sure why he didn't stay home, unless he was working in Ada and didn't feel like driving to Colgate. I'll spare the details to save Toby face, but it wasn't pretty. That man was sick! I also bought a digital camera, finally. I had had one, but Jen got it during the divorce agreements, so I was in need of one. Paul helped me pick it out, and it's a pretty decent camera. 4.0 MP, all kinds of bells and whistles, including optical zoom, which my other one didn't have, so I was happy with that. I'm afraid that I'll have to get a smart card or like media, as this doesn't have very much onboard memory, but these days it's almost imperative to have external memory with today's cameras.

Oh, I want to urge people to click my link for KoC. Much appreciated!!

One last thing, I want to wish David and Erin Rutledge a very happy anniversary for this past Monday. I'm not sure what year this makes it (Six? Seven?) but they are very successful at being married, and I could take some pointers from them. I wish them the best of life and lots of love for the future.

Anybody happen to know what happened to Michael West this Sunday and Monday?