A venti mug of funk
Hey.
Hey you.
You the stinky guy that works in FrontEnds.
Yeah, you. Come over here.
WAIT!! Scratch that. DON'T come over here. Just listen to what I have to say.
Take a bar of soap and stick it under your fucking arm and scrub. For like, three minutes. After that, wash your hair. Yeah, that grease-trap on top of your noggin. Take some EASY-OFF oven clean and just douse your head with it. And then, and this is important, use a deoderant. It doesn't have to be an anti-persperent, but just something that smells good, whatever it is, I don't care. Glade Stick-On, some mulberry potpourri, an Arm & Hammer fridge brick I DON"T CARE. Just something.
And then if you could refrain from telling me how to telnet into my own shit, that would be swell too. It's NOC equipment, therefore NOC will deal with it. 'Nuff said.
Thank you.
Signed-
-The guy that is lying passed out
4 Comments:
Someone needs a hug.
more like a pat down to make sure he has no sharp objects or potential weapons on his person.
I feel your pain sir. Personal hygiene is a choice. It shouldn't be seen as a talent or an option. I'm not sure why techies are so prone to this malady, but it isn't necessary and it isn't a sign that they're any better at tech theory. Its almost like they're suggesting that if they fit into society the server/switch/whatever would hold it against them. But wait doesn't hardware work better in a sterile enviroment between 65 and 70 degrees? Take a bath ye purveyor of the funk and maybe just maybe when we can trust you to wash yourself we might be able to listen to you on other subjects as well.
Here's what I do.
He's sitting there all stinky. Get a nice metal pale. Fill it with cold water. Get a new bar of soap. Take both over to his desk. Say nothing.
Set the pale on the floor next to him. Take the soap. Unrap it. Place it in his hands. Continue to say nothing. Reach down and pick up the pale.
And dump it on him.
Depending on his personality and anger factors you can either run or body slam him into the ground and force feed him the soap in hopes it will seep out of his pores.
Now, that sounds like an idea.
I join your anger with people who do not clean themselves.
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