When I roll, I roll twentys

I took the Geek Test, scored a 60.94675% Geek (That being an Extreme Geek). And the weird thing is, I can think of several things that further my 'unique status' of social nerdome.

For instance, the song "Rock Steady" by the Whispers, whenever it comes on the radio, and I'm singing along to it, (And baby we can rock...steady! Steady rock it all night long...), I'm thinking NOT of getting freaky, but instead of the mutated rhinocerous villian from TMNT. Yes, I am that much of a geek. I will go further with this analysis.

Widescreen is a rule, not an option.

Japanese anime is watched in it's original language, never in English. As is any foreign movie. Seeing Amelie, Battle Royale or God of Cookery in English? Hell naw!

I never cried when Optimus bit it in Transformers: The Movie. However, and this is pure speculation, my bottom lip may have quivered for a few minutes. Shut up, you weren't there.

Is the new Replacements album any good? I wouldn't know. Car Talk and Coast to Coast? I've got 'em Podcast.

Favorite park of the Disneyreich was EPCOT. It made learning fun, and the fact that you can drink alcohol there is secondary... ;)

Igor Bars, while not an everyday treat, are fine eating. Insulin may be required.

This speech is my recital. I think it's very vital. To rock (a rhyme), that's right (on time) It's tricky! Tricky! Trick- here we go!

Knowledge that one CAN make money doing online comics and blogs and make a very nice living at it.

I've received gaming dice one year for Christmas...and it was the best present that year. Thank you Brother's West!

Cartoon crush when I was a kid? Velma. 100%. Nerd chicks are awesome. Linda Cardalini and Alyson Hannigan only cement that fact.

I've never been 'gagged with a spoon', 'been served' or 'had a cow'. I do however know the lyrics to 'Reading Rainbow". So, uh, I guess that makes me 'rarely laid'.

I was so nerdy I didn't own a single Hypercolor t-shirt or any B.U.M equipment. Sears' husky Tuffskins and Hanes plain tees I had plenty of. Yeah, I was stylin'.

I'm a Cubs fan. This doesn't make me a geek or anything, but it just shows I have a softspot in my heart for losers. Oh Snap!

In 7th and 8th grade, I would frequently skip lunch to spend time in the school library and play on the computers. Apple IIC Plus, kid. I was cool. And looking back, Oregon Trail sucked. Oh yeah, I went there.

Hmm... you know what, this list might explain a lot of stuff. It turns out I didn't need Tourette's to alienate me from society, it seems I was doing a good job on my own. But hey, screw it. Who needs to be prom king when you can fomulate binary to hex in your head and back again? g33k-4-l1f3, yO!

********************

Note to Adam: The woman that plays Christmas Eve in Avenue Q is on the VH1 series "I Love The 80's: 3-D". As are Cassidy and Kristen from Antigone Rising. Sweet. Incidentily, Cassidy and Kristen are the cutest girls from the group, so I guess that explains why the rest of the band wasn't on there. Conclusion: VH1 is run by pigs.

********************

She sings music while looking pretty. Pretty much a one-trick pony, but Leela James is HAWT. That's right. I went there.

If you can bow your head...

My father is going under the knife next Tuesday. I hear it's a standard procedure. I know that his doctor is very competent and that the staff are knowledgeable. But that does nothing to ease my fears. I'm still scared. I'm still afraid. I'm right back in 1987 and not wanting to show any emotion when I'm terrified inside.

So, if you are so inclined to believe in a higher power, pray for my father.

Many thanks.

Best synopsis ever

From the cover of a B-movie I just found:

A pretty young jogger is brutally abducted...but why and by whom? So sets the tone for "Harvesters," a blood-curdling clash of two evil forces, both bent on destruction. This high-energy, action-packed thriller pits an outlaw gang, led by lesbian Gulf War vet Frankie Falzone, against the Peelmans - a seemingly "normal" family who harbor a dark and deadly secret. As two U.S. marshals close in on the gang, the terror mounts and the body count rises. The ensuing battle for survival - set amidst scenes of heart-thumping horror and mayhem - will have you on the edge of your seat!

Who says writing movies is hard work? A Gulf War vet/outlaw gang leader/lesbian as only half of the bad guys? Come on, that is nine kinds of awesome. If at all interested, one can check out the cast and a few photos. Slutty women and clueless men. To be sure, a great combo.

Of prunes and glue

Let me take you back. Waaaay back. Does anybody remember "The Electric Company"? Rita Morano, Morgan Freeman as Easy Reader, the first live-action Spider-Man series I can ever remember, "Heeeey, you guys!!"... great stuff.

I'm sitting here at work, thinking about a specific sketch. It was an old woman, sitting on a park bench, feeding some pigeons. Along comes a man who sits next to her. He notices that this woman has a prune on her nose, and makes several attempts to ask her about it, but only in round-about ways. Finally he just breaks down and asks point blank... "Ma'am, why do you have a prune on your nose?"

She smiles and replies, "To keep my glasses on. Now let me ask you, why DON'T you have a prune on the end of your nose?"

The young man looks flusterd, "I don't have glasses..."

"Ah!" The old woman exclaims, "That because you don't have a prune on the end of your nose!"

Kids laugh.
********************
Right now, I've got a wicked pimple/SARS/MARSA/Small Pox blister on the side of my nose and it's causing my glasses to slip. As it is, my aggro levels are rising as the slipping of my glasses just causes the sore to get worse.

I need a prune on the end of nose.

I would wax poetic about "The Great Space Coaster" but that would blow some of your minds. That's right. It's DEEP material.

"I've got seven problems, and you're five of them!"

Watching "The Colbert Report", and I have to say, I haven't laughed outloud at a television show in quite some time. This is pretty good stuff. If you get Comedy Central, give it a watch.

On my drive home tonight, what comes on the radio but Zepplin's "Black Dog", Def Leopard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me" and then Nickelback's "Figured You Out". It was a safe bet to say that my window was down, a cig was had, and this bearded weirdo was barreling down the highway singing his lungs out.

In a few weeks will be Free Candy From Strangers Day and I'm wondering what this year will hold. The past two years I've gone over to watch 'The Crow" and haven't had to hand out sugar to teenagers that don't even dress up. Just once, I want to catch Rocky Horror with a bunch of freaks that dress up. Just once. It's the only season one can do the Time Warp. You know it starts with just a jump to the left... ;)

During a trip to Starbucks with Padre West during A-Kon, I picked up the Antigone Rising CD. And I have to say, for corporate whores, they sing some fine stuff. It's nothing I would pick up normally, but it's a good listen. But what to classify it as.... folk pop? Estrogin rawk? Whatever... it's good. Try it Mikey, you'll like it.

From Mordor, back to the Shire...

After two hours sleep, a brief shower and a trip through security, I made it to Minniapplesauce around 8:30 this morning, a quick bite to eat and then it off to Tulsa. With servings of VeryFine's Apple-Cran juice down my gullet and tiny pretzels to boot, I slept most of both flights so it wasn't so bad.

If I had more time up in the Great White North, I would have brought back more with me. They had so many kinds of cool food. Their variety of potato chips alone was worth the trip. They even had 'fries & gravy' flavor Lays. Poutine! How cool is that? And speaking of poutine, I finally tried it at a fast-food restaurant on our way out. I have to say...not my favorite dish. Brown gravy and cheese curds on top of french fried potatoes. Cholesterol never tasted so mediocre. If I want to clog my arteries, I want it to be with food I enjoy eating. Like chili-cheese fries. :)

"Your tale, sir, could cure deafness."

Later today we are scheduled to see "The Tempest", Shakespeare's infamous story of a deposed duke, cast out for fifteen years on a lonely island, only to conjure up a terrible storm with his mighty magician's power to right those who wronged him. Sounds like it should be fun.

Right now, my roommate is sleeping like a corpse, and by that I mean he is resting as one would in a coffin. On his back, arms folded neatly on his chest. If he was a vampire, this would pretty much be his position if I found him in his tomb. I wish I had brought my camera cord, I could show you pictures. Reat easy though, when once I return to T-Town, I shall unveil DeadAdam.

Everybody always likes to bring back tales of 'little things' that people do in different parts of the world. Normal everyday stuff is pretty much the same, but as they say, the devil is in the details. I will explain. Canadian money is cooler than U.S. money. Wereas we just have pictures of dead presidents, theirs has quotes about growing up on the skating rink, and then actually having a hockey scene right on the money. Their coins are cooler as well. A $2 dollar coin? Awesome. A $2 dollar coin that looks like two coins in one? Awesome sauce.

I will say that, hmm, how should I put this? "Going number 2"? When doing the deed, restrooms up here (which are called washrooms) do not have toilet tissue in a roll, but instead in pre-measured tissues that pop out like an upside-down Kleenex box. That takes a little getting used to. All the New York kids mentioned while at the restaurant last night that "they say pop here!", as opposed to soda. Being from Oklahoma, I've heard both, so it was really no big deal. I wanted to bring up the fact that to us, it was all just "coke" anyway.

I will say this. Canadian's have no concept of the "whiskey sour". Without a doubt my favorite drink, and will usually order it when out with friends, but up here they just have no idea of what going into a whiskey sour. I would think it wasn't that hard. Whiskey. Sour mix. Ice. Serve in a rocks glass. Instead they give you Whiskey. Sweet mix. Ice. Served in a Tom Collins glass. And that's just wrong.

Naturally I realize that I am in fact just getting a small taste of Canada. I would hardly call visiting one town for two days certifying me as an expert of any kind. The people are nice, the town has that 'old' feel to it and it's a very enjoyable experience. We will head across the U.S. border around 9:30 - 10:00 tonight, and I was told that it would help if I had my birth certificate with me. Of course, I had no time to get that as my title of birth is in Ada, so in the event I get stalled up here, I might miss a few days of work. Hear that Ed? If I don't make it back by Thursday, call the president.

I'm soory, eh?

Just got in from tearing up Stratford, Ontario's finest pubs, getting lost (yes, again), flirted with people that will never be interested in me and got to see my first Tennesse Williams play, "Cat On A Hot Tin Roof". We were supposed to attend "As You Like It", but tickets were sold out, so we just chilled and relaxed, Canadian-style for a few hours before the festivities this evening.

It seems, dear readers, that along with my ability to get lost, I can also miss checking in for my flight. I was in line in time, but there was a complete moron working part of the desk, mucking up everything he touched, so myself and a couple going to Boston had to take standby flights to our destinations. So instead of just a layover in Detroit as planned, I took a little trip to Memphis, then Detroit and finally on to Rochester. I was planned to arrive up in New York around 11:40 in the morning, as opposed to 2:45 in the afternoon like I did. On top of the new medication that I've still have yet to acclimate to, the stress of flying, added with the stress of being flagged at Tulsa as a possible threat and having everybit of my pockets and laptop bag going through. I even had to put my shoes in the X-Ray machine, plus getting scanned with the Probe-O-Matic....Gah!! So, yeah... I was a little twitchy. I would have sold my own mother out yesterday to have just thirty minutes rest from the stupic tics.

Hate hate hate my Tourette's. Hate. It. Very. Much.

Moving on...

Flying problems and being a security risk in the eyes of the airport aside, I had my three square servings of Cran-Apple, a tiny bag of pretzels which I never opened and on my flight from DTW to ROC I sat next to a little girl with Down's Syndrom who was just as lovable as can be. Her mom was flying with her, they were going to visit "gramma's house", and so I was privy to the in-flight entertainment of Odd Todd and Even Steven stories. And folks, there are a million worse ways to spend a flight. It was my favorite flight so far, I have to say.

Adam picks me up, we make small talk and I get to check out the campus he works at. All the beautful college kids love him, and I get to meet a bevy of cool people whom are oddly accepting of my weird twitchy thing. So, hey kids from SUNY Genesao... you rock!

Today we drove to Stratford, Ontario, stopped at two Tim Horton's on the way, got hassled by "the man" at the border and got to see the most digusting pack of cigarettes I've ever seen. All the ciggy packs come with pictures of mouth cancer and diseased lungs. Yum. All in all, not a bad day. In fact, if it wasn't for the TS, it would be one of the best days this year, but with the tics... ah hell, you know what? I'm tired of talking about it. I'm just sick of this thing. All day long I had been dreading sitting through a three-hour play with this going on. I want to rant, but it's no use. In the morning I'm just just going to be the same twitchy guy.

Soory. Just a little touchy tonight.

So anyway... Canada's pretty cool. Bib, you would absolutley love it up here, with all the fall colors. I think I finally see what you saw about this area back in PA. And Jen would love it for all the Cadbury chocolate products up here. I had no idea they made much more than just the chocolate eggs you only find at Easter. And Pat, if you ever come here, you have got to eat at Molly Bloom's. Best Irish food I've had since Oklahoma, and as weird as that sounds, it's not as weird as an Irish pub serving chinese food.

So many thanks go to Adam for leaving Ada and staying away. As long as you live up this way, I'll come visit.

Now take off, you hosers!

The Milestone

Five of them be exact!

Today I got up, dressed comfortably and did five miles at a low brisk pace. According to my walking calculator that took care of about 988 calories. If I could do that twice a week, along with the average 2.5 the rest of the days, I think I should see results sometime by next summer. I know I've put the weight on over about 20 years, so it's going to take a while to take if off, but dang if I'm just not impatient!

Talked to my brother from another mother this morning about my impending visit to New York. I had planned to call him tonight, but he beat me to it. I should have asked him if I am going to need a coat. I don't want to pull another D.C. and leave my coat behind and walk about Toronto freezing my cabezas off. Got spending money, about to get some travel-sized shampoo and soap and will start packing after the laundry has finished. Should be set.

I've been eating all my perishables this week since I will be gone for four days, and today is my last day. I have 3 small apples, 2 tomatoes, a bunch of celery and a half bunch of grapes. Looks like I'm getting my fresh fruit serving for this Thursday.

Note to Michael: Are you still planning on doing the weekend hikes next summer again? I never got to attend one, and I am hoping with what little weight I lose between now and then and with all the walking I am doing I can be in somewhat better shape to handle the walks. I will use vacation time to make it down for a few three-day weekends. And we need to do the salmon!! Get with Smitty and Dave and plan for November!!

Note to Scott: Bald is beautiful, but my skull brother with a clean chin was a bit of a shock. :D I hope everything goes better for the rest of the year. I want you to make A-Kon if you can find the time next year. It's quite the event.

Baby steps

Today I got up to 3.1 miles with no problem. I plan to go for a rough 5 tomorrow. If it works out ok, I am going to try and do that at least twice a week. With the brisk pace I am walking, that should help out with the poundage. I'll let you know how it goes.

I should also point out that since I found that ten spot on Sunday, everyday that I walk I have to keep from walking with bad posture, as I am keen to drop my head and check out the sidewalks and pathways for loose money. Tuesday my back was killing me from my hunchback impression. Baka!!

********************

And if you don't know, don't worry, you just had to be there.

The old gray mare just ain't what she used to be...

Sunday was good. During my walk I found a $10 bill. So, not only did I get a little bit healthier, I made money.

Monday I was rushed all day, my battery died on me and I was told by the woman cutting my hair that if I wanted to 'touch it up' it would cost me the $39.99 instead of the $5 treatment because, as she put it about my gray hair, I "had so much of it". But I had dinner with Kevin and Melissa, went to a kooky Halloween store, and killed an evening with them instead of at Casa de Craphole. Fun!

Finally getting around to backing up my laptop today. I don't think I would be devastated in the event of my laptop crashing, but there would be open weeping and cursing. I'm not sure, but laying in a fetal position on the floor of the kitchen may also ensue.

I had bought Tom Savini's 'Grande Illusions I & II" a few weeks ago and with Halloween approaching, I think I'm going to get my hands a little dirty. I LOVE the feel of alginate! I would have made a great dentist, hairy knuckles and all.

Narnia coming to big screen in December. That just can't come soon enough.

I want a bowler hat. Are they out of style? In? I never know. Somebody help a brother out.

The Freak inside

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind. You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

I got soul but I'm not a soulder

Had breakfast with a few guys from my shift this morning. Got done, gave a pint of blood at the OBI on 81st. I wanted to give RBCP but the woman that does them wasn't in the office today. That's just weird to me, in the Ada office, any person can operate the RBCP and platelet machines, here in Tulsa it's just one person. How screwy is that?

Anyway, I'm 5/8 of the way toward my 3rd gallon. Yay!

In other news, Ed and Emily's baby loves me. And had she the use of both of her arms today, she would have reached out to me. I am just sure of it.

I miss my nieces. I miss Bren and Mar-Bear. I miss David. I miss Sid. I miss Theran. I miss Jaymeson. Feeling home sick for some reason tonight.

Friend Melissa's grandmother passed away yesterday. Happy thoughts and hugs go out to her.

Two doctors, a fat guy and a cute kid are in a doctor's office...

Monday we find our way over to Baylor College of Medicine, sign in and do the waiting game. That game didn't seem so long as there was this super adorable baby walking around the waiting room giving everybody the big eyes. Paul mentioned that he was starting to miss his son David the night before, so I an imagine that by this point he was ready to go home and be with his baby boy.

They call my name, take my BP and weight (verified weight lost! Yay!) and I see a interm doctor that asks me about everything I remember about the past history I have with TS. I felt really comfortable with this guy, as he didn't make it seem weird or strange, so I was telling him everything I could think of. I won't go into detail, but it was refreshing to deal with someone knowledgable of my problem as opposed to the past three neurologists I've seen here in Oklahoma.

After that I saw the big cheese, Dr Joseph Janivic. He comes in with the previous doctor in tow plus some woman that never gets introduced. Dr. Kenny (the afore-mentioned doc) starts recapping my history to Janivic and the anonymous woman who is taking notes. I start feeling extremely self-conscience as I don't know if this woman is a doctor or a nurse or just Janivic's note-taker. I find out later she is a visiting Turkish doctor doing a study with the Baylor Neurological Department, and had I known that at the time I wouldn't have minded, but when Dr. Kenny starting going down the laundry list of my quirks and oddities it was a uncomfortable.

Anyway, it turns out that the medication I've been taking for the last twenty years is what doctors that don't know what they are doing prescribe. At least that is what I was lead to believe. The new stuff I got is not FDA-approved, has to be shipped from Cambridge, England, I have to sign a waiver for it and cost $170 a bottle. Daaaaamn! I'm hoping the FDA approves this soon so I can start getting it covered under my insurance. So I got the new pills, some new meds for the ADD situation, and some new information about my affliction. Good times.

We also managed to see one of Paul's old Marine buddies, squeezed in game 4 of the Cubs-Astros wildcard series (Cubs lost!) and watched "Serenity" on Sunday night. So where it not for the problems listed yesterday and that includes getting lost so many stinking times it was a very good trip. I have to do it again in February, so I hope that I can find another traveling partner. Anybody free?

The trip, the breakfast and the moldy bucket

Paul and I got back LATE last night (Monday) from Houston. After us both getting lost several times, a trip that led us both to south of Houston and a trip to Pauls Valley needlessly, we got in a bit before midnight. I dropped him off, got back to my parent's house, chatted with my dad for a few minutes then crashed into sweet relief.

Here's a tidbit about Houston you may not be aware of. Much like Washington D.C., a complete lunatic designed the street layout. Between a map given to me by the hospital, a Rand-McNally atlas and information from MapQuest.com, we still got lost more times than I really care to admit to my reading public. It was very embarrassing to be with a friend I've known since junior high that I am driving and I am in fact, completely unknowing of where we are at this very minute. I'm glad Paul kept a sense of humor about the whole thing because I was stressing (imagine that!) a tad so it was more of an adventure than a bad situation.

I would also like to mention that if you have a choice of staying at the Holiday Inn on 6800 S. Main St in Houston, that you do it during a time when there are not wall to wall refugees occupying it. We got a left-over 'non-smoking' room with two noticeable cigarette burns on a chair and one of the bedspreads, not to mention that the curtains smelled of "something evil" and that our ice bucket was not changed between our visit and the previous occupant's, as it contained about an inch of water and smelled strongly of mildew. Just yuck. I had no ice while staying there as I was afraid of what the public ice machine would have produced.

I know what some of you must be saying, "Jay's doing what he does best, bitch about a situation that wasn't as bad as he said it was." To that, I say "Ney ney." Paul can back me up on this one, I have a verifiable witness that I speak the truth. Oh, and do you know when you're at a bad breakfast buffet? When the head waiter gives you no notice at the downstairs restaurant in the hotel your staying in, the eggs dish and the potatoes dish have to share one crusty spoon, when the milk, orange juice and V8 pitchers they have are room temperature, when the cereal they offer is not in handy single-serve boxes but instead in a huge bowl with a tiny spoon so you can share germs with other nasty refuges that come down to a public restaurant in THEIR SMELLY BATHROBE AND SLIPPERS! Come on, black lady we saw... Don't set your race back 50 years by acting like a complete degenerate. Show some class, put on some clothes, try wearing shoes next time and the act of brushing your hair would have been a nice touch. Not a demand... Just a request that you not be a complete jackhole when getting your free hotel stay on. Thanks.

Other than getting lost, having a smelly room, watching social gotards slurp down breakfast and having no Cinamonster to mollify my anger, it was a very good trip. I'll write about that tomorrow, after I get my happy on. Word.