Ants are shaped like tiny red snowmen

I miss Mitch Hedberg. Nothing funny here, just wanted to state that. He was funny and now he's gone. Hence, drugs suck.

Pat Morita died this week. Daniel-San is on his own from here on out. The Cobra-Kahn dojo is going to take over the streets now. Damn. I better call Hilary Swank.

Nick and Jessica are splitting up. Now who will my fantasy marriage feelings be projected onto now? Hence, depression sets in.

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Thanksgiving went ok this year. My niece Taylor had to spend it with her father, so we didn't get to have a full family, and also as my brother-in-law had to work his shift at the fire department. I guess saving lives from burning buildings is more important than green bean cassarole. Meh... :) But Mom was cooking and cleaning like a mad-woman, and for some reason wouldn't let me help with anything. I got to take the turkey out at 6 in the morning. That was my only contribution to this year's holiday.

Had lunch with friends, both old and new and even got to cook a bit with Smitty, which hasn't happened in a while. No Jen, no marble cheesecake was burned this time. We had steak, some mashed potatoes that were low-calorie but flavorful, spinach, a Riviera blend of veggies, plus some rolls. Mamma G didn't get to ply me with alcohol when I was down, so she told Padre West to relay that she was furious with me. When I go back down she just may get her chance. I'll have to drag Paul along if I can.

I have nieces and friends with kids, and as much as everybody thinks they have the coolest kid, Paul's little boy David is the funniest thing around. He'll hold his arms up and ask you "You want some of this?" which comes out as "Yu wa somdis?" And considering he's only a little over two, that's just nine kinds of adorable. He can ask you if you want a knuckle sandwich, and you can't help but laugh. Too cute!

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Mitch's favorite cigar is "It's a boy!"'s. He also likes Kit-Kats, except when he is with four or more people. All right...

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I picked up some track pants for cold-weather walking and I found a pair that fit my large frame at TJ Maxx. It was cool, because those things are super comfortable. I now know why Italian guys wear those things all the time. They are the ultimate fat guy suit. Warm, comfortable pants and jacket that match. It's like someone took a survey of what a fat guy would want in cool weather clothing, and then made it. I love you ,pseudo-cashmire!

I have to shill for a second. I've been reading this girl's site for a while, and it gets better all the time, unlike my own. Haiku-Girl will make you fall in love with her writing, whether you want to or not. But you'll want to, so it's Ok.

Did anybody watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade Thursday? After the second commercial break, they featured a live perfomance of Puffy AmiYumi, a J-Pop girl duo made famous here in the states with their wacky animated adventures on Cartoon Network (Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi). On a float with their cartoon counterparts, they did their song "Friends Forever" which is melodically identical to another of their hits, "So Long Zero". I had to admit, I was tapping my toes. If dad wasn't in the room, I might have even sang along. Yes, I listen to J-Pop. Deal.

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Mitch sometimes get's handed flyers when walking around. That's weird, as Mitch believes that it's like someone telling him, "Here, YOU throw this away." He also likes carrots. He had an ant farm once but the ants didn't grow anything, and that bummed him out.

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By the way, I had ribs and peach cobbler that same night of my last post and it was delicious. I balanced it out this past Thursday by eating my weight in cornbread dressing. And it was delicious as well. Maybe that should be my new diet. Just eating things in large quantity that are delicious. Oh yeah, I've already tried that. Didn't work. Damn

That's all I got. Listening to some Mitch, dreaming of dreamy things, sleepy-eyed from lack of sleep, too much sleep, not enough sleep, woke up early, stayed up late, woke up early... hating this cycle. I'm off tomorrow and besides doing a little grocery shopping, I'm not planning on doing a whole lot. If you call and I don't answer, consider me sleeping.

...end trans...

Healthy Schmealthy

Trying to eat right is so hard, especially when you've been craving ribs and peach cobbler for a whole week...

Letters to Cleo sings my song.

Here and Now

The comfort of a knowledge of a rise above the sky above
could never parallel the challenge of an acquisition in the
Here and now
Here and now...

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I may not have toast and tea, but I do have V-8 and mini-carrots. Got to be close enough. Plus it's more vitaminey...vitaminesque...vita-packed... whatever.

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Paula Cole once wondered where all the cowboys had gone to. I'm wanting to know where the muses have danced away to and why. Closed eyes. Holding my breath. Waiting. Wishing. Hoping. Will they come back? Will they inspire?

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

Well, a quick week: Gas is down to $1.98 out here in Tulsa, my ex-wife is engaged to be rewed in February, I still can't play the guitar, met another someone off the internet, Beavis and Butthead Collection 1 came out on DVD, and my sister didn't get the job she was wanting.

So far, Lexapro is just making me tired.

Bleh...

Lore Brand Humor

My company "Taking An Exam In Your Underwear,Inc" is going public tomorrow.

It's hard to believe that only ten years ago this company was just a dream.

...

My 210th post is about Cancerous people

Cancer - June 23rd to July 22nd
Your positive traits:
You're intuitive enough to know what's going wrong in a relationship early on. A total sweetheart - you're often the most caring person anyone knows. You are a generous and devoted parter to whoever you fall in love with.
Your negative traits:
Insecurity - you tend to need a huge amount of comforting from your partner. You tend to be overly sensitive and easily hurt, which make loving you difficult. It's difficult to predict your moods. One minute you're up - the next you're down.
Your ideal partner:
Someone equally sensitive, who wants to take time to get to know you deeply. Dreams of an everlasting love - complete with marriage and a family. Loves to take care of you. Being a good cook and masseuse doesn't hurt!
Your dating style:
Slow. You enjoy dates that last all day, with plenty of time to talk and get to know one another.
Your seduction style:
Quite tender and loving, once you are comfortable in your relationship. Coy. You tend to play it cool to drive your lover wild. Orally talented - you're known as the best kisser in the zodiac.
Tips for the future:
Be a little less sensitive. Not every little mistake should hurt you. Spend time away from your partner every so often - independence is a good thing. Find ways to take care of yourself. You'll be happier if you put yourself first.

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Dang. For a person that doesn't believe in Zodiac traits, this pretty much nails my personality down. I need to ask about Adam about the Birthday Book and see if it's correct too.

Could it be that I'm crazy?

A question was posed to me yesterday "What is wrong with you?"

Indeed, what IS wrong with me?

Talked to my doctor Monday, and it seems the TBZ is causing huge dips in the serotonin levels in my brain, (really wished they discussed these things with me when I started taking it), which is why I've been having these panic attacks and so much anxiety, not to mention the depression. So he suggested that I start on a regiment of Lexapro. W00t!

I knew I was nuts, now I've got a certified doctor telling me so. Now, if you'll excuse me, some nice young men in their clean white coats want to take me away, HAha!

Fun-sized Snickers go to whomever knows what that is from.

Learned something clever

In The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus , Christopher Marlowe gives this description of Helen of Troy:
Is this the face that launched a thousand ships
And burned the topless towers of Ilium?

By this point, every schoolboy and grrl knows the romantic story between the star-crossed lovers that's launched it own impressive number of plays, movies, books and other representations. Helen's beauty caused hunky meat-puppet Paris to start a war, simply due to the fact that she was hawt and he had a jones for her. But let's break it down metrically, if for no other reason than I'm a geek and I'm bored on a Saturday night.

If one Helen can launch a unit that we will call a kiloship, equivalent to a thousand ships represented to a single large unit, then logically, that would establish the "millihelen", an equivalent solo unit of beauty needed to launch a single ship. Metric conversion is fun!

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The Japanese, ever on the forefront of cool and trendy entertainment, have started a craze some years back that is just now catching up to North America. Dubbed Sudoku, it's a simple numbers-based puzzle that has you using basic mathematics to solve it. It's also maddening in it's addictive properties. I'm almost to a point where I can do everyone without errors, but still take too long to finish one. I can go through one in about 11-13 minutes, but the average for the basic puzzle is around 7 minutes. I'm almost doubled that!

Ah'm a bit slow Jen-nay. Ah'm jahst a simple mahn. It also seems I need to go back to grade school.

I'm also curious as to how fast Patrick can crank through one of these. Him being a degreed math-nerd and all, it shouldn't be a problem.

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Blogger's spell-check program recognizes neither the word "blog" or it's plural "blogs" and that to me is funny. "Faustus" it had no problem with, but "topless" it did. Apparently the fix hasn't been targeted to it's primary demographic. ;) I'm willing to bet the word "topless" gets used infinitely more times than "Faustus".

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On the left in the blogs listed section, you'll notice that there is two new ones to note. The top one is TS101, one that will hold nothing interesting for you unless you're interested in the life of a Tourette's patient. She makes fun observations that I thought were unique to me, and I got a kick out of it. It seems she has stopped posting back in July, but maybe she will pick it back up. The second one is my oldest (yet younger) sister's blog. She's only given up one post, but hopefully she will continue with it.

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Catching Unwrapped after work tonight, and I'm learning things. Candy things. Such as the liquid flavoring in Super Hot Tamales is so caustic that if just a drop were to mistakenly fall on bare skin, the result would be bubbling pain, followed by permanent scaring. And any candy that uses such a powerful additive in it's ingredient list has got to be good. Yum!

Speaking of candy, does anybody remember Zots? They were nine kinds of awesome! I miss those little tablets of fizzy deliciousness. Maybe Mexico or Canada can fill my jones for the 80's favorite.

Headbangin' to "Thus Sprack Zarathrustra"

Gaptoothed model-turned-gaptoothed actress Laura Hutton is posing nude for the American magazine 'Big'. Apparently the domestic rag is scrapping the barrel of front page talent. To me, she was the Paris Hilton of the 1970's. She was famous simply because she was famous. While being one of the first 'supermodels" and having numerous endorsement deals, she has large mass appeal. Why this is, I can't figure out. Mainly because she's got a butter face and after seeing her act, I can't see how she keeps getting work. A Laura Hutton fan, I am not.

Moving on.

I might have a big announcement coming soon. Well, kind of big. Is it bigger than a breadbox? Yes. And no it is not a toaster. Next question.

I'm going to get "Blue Valkyrie Needs Food Badly" tattood on my back. Nerdcore! And then below that, just for fun, I'm going to put the code for infinate lives on Konami games. Maybe in white ink so it will glow in UV light. Why? Why the heck not is what I say!

Nic Cage has named his new-born son Kal-El, the name given to Superman by his parents. Cage may be bat-shit crazy, but he's my kind of bat-shit crazy. Second prize goes to Penn Jillette who named his daughter Moxie Crimefighter.

I'm bored on a call here at work, that's where all this weirdness is coming from. If it will help illistrate how bored I am, I'm remembering the lyrics to "The Get-Along Gang" while listening to AT&T gripe about me "accusing them" of being the cause of my inability to telnet to a given router. I had my last laugh as the guy fessed up to adding an access-list to the interface I was trying to get through that caused my block. Haha!

Something old, something new...

This first link is about a year or two old I believe. So if you're into old-skool gaming, you might have already seen it. Nintendo Choir is a fun little selection of music some college-aged group of kids did. And then not to stop there, the video game performance pieces seem to be spreading with Mario Unleashed and Mario Piano( bit lengthy). And then who can forget the awesome sauce Mario Guitar? Along with the copycats Mario Guitar 2 and Mario Guitar 3, one can tell that this is a popular thing. I should point out that all the guitar performances are filled with flubs, but they give it their all and all three are a heck of a lot better than I can do. The last guy is wearing an Allister hoodie, so I'm assuming he's either a fan or in the group itself. And seeing as they do a crappy cover of Fraggle Rock, he would fit in. I could link the video for you, but I took all of ten seconds on Google and didn't find it so you're on your own.

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April the Cat took a month long vacation at Brigette the Nurse's house. Got her back last night (the cat, not the ex). Went by the 'rents house, packed up my gear and came home. Dad is feeling better, a little sore, but in good spirits so that makes me relieved. I had a really good meal/drink/spill food down front of my shirt time with my sisters Tuesday night and Michael West stopped by while we were there. I was, as Linda Richmond would say, a little overklimpt. I will have to visit all the people I haven't had a chance to see in Ada the past two/three months when I go down next.

Also, I think Padre West was mackin' on my sister a little bit. I couldn't tell, as he's that way with EVERY woman. I'd be afraid to leave him in the same room alone with my mother for more than ten minutes for in five months I'll have a new stepdad who is younger than me... ;)

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One last thing. Been off the Metidate for about a week and a half and I can tell a marked improvement on my tics. I talked at length with Paul yesterday about all the shit I've been dealing with the past few weeks and I think he nailed it down. He put into perspective the things I've been having problems with as he's going through them himself in a way, so it was nice to have a like mind on the issue. Anyway, I'm hoping that by Thankgiving I can get the dosage down to where I can see as few tics as possible. For some reason, I've just had an extremely hard time dealing with it the past month. Usually I just grit my teeth and try to deal with it as best as I can but since a little episode last Monday at lunch changed my view on the subject, I've been really hating it. But I rant when I should be doing other things. Only got a three day work week until Saturday night and then I'll be off for another weekend. Time to do laundry, a little cleaning, and seeing as I'm a fat guy so close to lunch, it's time I get to cookin'...

Later gators

Into the woods, out of the woods and home before dark

For those concerned, my father made it through surgury just fine. And to those friends and family that called to ask how he was, thank you. I have some of the finest resources available to me for love and support. I have often times only thought of what I didn't have, and that my life was missing so much. In truth, I had so much already in front of me and did not fully appreciate it until just the past few months. I don't want to get all Dr. Phil on you people, but I wanted to say it. You really are a great bunch and I love you all. Except you... YOU know who you are... ;)

In other news, my manager at work will be gone in about a week and a half. GONE gone. As it happens, he is following another EDS turncoat to a new job and will be no longer serving us. And seeing as this manager was the one primarily responsible for not giving me any raises or bonuses in the five years I've been there, I can't see this as a bad thing. And it's not that he was terrible at his job, but I will point out that he pretty much didn't know I existed except when it came to punish me at review time.

Now, with the holiday season approaching, and if somebody wants to REALLY get me something good... a date with Amber Benson would do just nicely. As would the ability to shoot spaghetti out of my fingertips. That would be pretty cool too. So, uh, yeah... if one of you could make those things happen, you'd be aces in my book.

ACES!