Was this close to knowledge

****WARNING: THIS POST MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO WOMEN FOLK AND CHILDREN****
Ok, remember that guy in 'Amelie', the 'ghost' that she kept seeing the pictures of, only to find out he was actually the photobooth repairman? I have a simular situation. There is a man that works nights on the weekends that always has this vest on. It's a blue vest with little moons and stars on it, and I kid you not, I have seen this guy maby 100 times and every single time he's had this vest on.

So just a few minutes ago, I walk into the restroom and who is there at one of the urinals but vest guy. I kind of freeze, as there's this feeling I develop in my stomache. A weird "catching the dog talking on the phone" kind of feeling. Do I talk the guy? What would I ask him? "Why do you wear that freakin' vest so often?" I shy away from it for a second and head to the farthest urinal (common courtesy) and think about how to approach the situation.

As soon as I'm doing my business, he stops his and goes to wash his hands. "Great" I think, "I've got to hurry or else I'm going to lose this chance to ask him about that vest." So I start flowing like crazy. I'm up on tippytoes trying to Dukes of Hazzard it out so I can get some resolution to this thing that has been driving me crazy. At this point I put all I can into it, pushing the envelope so to speak, as I don't know when I'll get this opportunity again.

No good. He's out of there like a Randy Johnson fastball and I'm left to wash my hands in silence. I'll admit, I didn't dry them at all, I just shook them quickly and walked out to hopefully catch him at the coffee machine or something. No such luck.

So Vest-Guy, I'm going to catch you one day. And when I do, I'm going to strip you of your precious adornment and hold it above my head as a trophy. And then, there will be the laugh. Oh yes, THE laugh. You'd better watch your back as I'm out for blood.... er... vest.

God help them

I'm sitting here, flipping through the internet, and this was the latest on Yahoo News. The newest problem is in a town north of Baghdad were some human stain packed a minibus full of explosives and detonated it outside a police station killing 70 people and wounding 30. When the news started showing fresh shots of the scene, there appeared to be several small bodies, which many believe were children. This action comes just days before a major gathering of Iraq's finest to discuss their future.

I just can not fathom how somebody can do that. I can understand theft. Somebody who steals is doing it because they want something. I can understand rape, because that person is a sexual predator. I can understand abuse of alcohol and drugs, as the recipient gets a euphoric feeling. I don't condone them, but I understand the desire to do them. What I can't understand is what would someone gain by killing 70 of your fellow brethren. Do they think they can hold back progress by scaring the masses? I guess since it worked in Spain after the bombing there, and changed the minds of the people to elect a new president, that the worthless people that did this think they can keep Iraq in the dark ages.

I'll admit, I haven't done my homework. I don't know how much Iraq as a country is worth, but I do know that a very small percentage of that country is able to afford the basic needs of modern living. Fresh vegetables are a rarity, ice cold drinks a dream that only the rich had have and if they go a whole month without a few days of power outages then it's a miracle. I can understand wanting to keep change. Change is a scary thing sometimes, and it can bring about unpleasantness and uncertainty. But change can be a good thing and bring hope to those that have gone so long without it that their only dream is to wake up tomorrow. I pray for these people and I hope the people of Iraq start living in the present and have more positive standards. I imagine they will probably always hate America, and that is fine with me. I know our country has its fare share of nasty secrets and despicable actions so we're hardly the poster child of the greatest nation on Earth. But the people of Iraq do not deserve to live in squalor and in constant fear. Nobody deserves that.

I hope that the meeting goes on as planned, and that the cowards that did this cruel and painful action will face judgment one day. And I hope that their judgment is a hundred times repaid unto them. I would wish that God have mercy on their souls, but since they don't have a heart or any compassion for their fellow man, that do not deserve it. It sickens me that these people exist. It sickens me more that they have no remorse for what they have done. Killing man, woman and child must be just a small step towards their goal of having Hell on Earth.

I'm Jay Haney, an American, and very proud of that fact. I have every creature comfort I could ask for, I don't live in fear of being shot or blown up every day. If my sister walks outside without her face covered, she won't be beaten. If a woman gets raped by a man in this country, it's the man who will face punishment, not the woman. I have access to green vegetables, fresh meat and clean water. The doctors of my country are some of the finest in the world and I can say with all honesty that I've never cowered in fear in my bedroom because of a bomb explosion a few hundred feet away. My children will grow up knowing different races and cultures, and if I've raised them right they will be free of prejudice and will be tolerant of other people's differences. I hope that one day the people of every nation on Earth can say the same thing. I have hope for our little planet, and hope is a good thing.

The Amazing Pancake-eating Shih-Tsu

I went to visit my good friend Adam while he was down this way this past weekend. I got a chance to hang out with him, Jared (his brother) and Paul Garner, another friend that goes way back. Monday night we played cards, talked and cracked jokes until 3 in the morning, just having a really good time. In the event that any of those guys read this, I just want you to know that was the most fun I've had in a long time. Thanks for a great time!

Tuesday morning, after a brief sleep, I get up and the pending plan was for Dad and myself to go eat breakfast in town. I wasn't feeling much like going into town, as I was still tired, and was hoping just to have some coffee and enjoy Mom and Dad's company before I had to go back, because I hadn't really spend any time with them since being down. Well, I guess Dad didn't feel like going either, so he asked mom to make breakfast for us again (twice in a row!). So we had pancakes and coffee and just got to make small take for a bit.

Now, Missy, my parent's dog, is used to being babied. If you would have asked me two years ago if Dad would ever baby a dog, I would have called you a liar to your face, and then promptly laugh at you. These days, Missy has one place to sit, in Daddy's lap. And Dad doats on her like she was one of his own children. Well, yesterday morning, I got to watch my father feed pancakes to the dog. And she was just having herself a good time. And were it not for mom, Missy probably would have eaten half of his stack. Mom had made one extra, smaller pancake, so Missy had her own, albeit minus the syrup, but it was still funny, as it mom feeding her the extra one. I, for the record, kept my shortstack to myself. I like their dog, but I don't like her that much.

Jennifer and myself try not to feed Mandy human food, as I think it probably encourages her to beg. But sometimes it's just impossible. I will break down and sometimes give a small piece of what I'm eating. For instance, I know that my dog likes tortilla chips, vienna sausages, cheese, and apparently lotion. I had a small tube of lotion I keep in the duffle bag, so if I go on a trip and get chapped hands, I'll be prepared. As dogs are oft to do, Mandy found that little tube and quickly chewed it up and ate what lotion she could. I'm only guessing that her intestinal track is slick enough to pass a Cadillac through. I'm only hoping that when she does her business next, that it doesn't come out like a bullet. With that much lubrication, I'm positive that she will have no problem with constipation.

$7000 in little shiney discs...

Go here and see what kind of money I've been waisting since 1998. That was when I bought my first DVD. And since that time it's grown into a very respectable collection I believe. The big problem I have with it is that I tend to buy stuff and then never watch it. Or at least right away. There have been times I have bought a dvd just to have it in my collection, but would never watch it. If you see my Guzzlefish record, you will see just what I mean. How many times can a person watch 'Beyond The Mat' and still find new material to gleen from it?

Today I found myself yelling at the dog. In her face. At full volumn. Lord, I need some time off from my her. I thought that since the dog would be older she would be easier to work with. Not so. She's still a puppy, and as such I do not possess the ability to handle her. I figure when I find myself pleading with the dog, a dog who does not understand English, it's time to do something different.

Right now I'm in a terrible mood, and it's all because of one thing. And if I could fix this one thing, I think my life would be less stressful. It's not the dog, as sometimes the dog is enjoyable. No sir, this one thing is something that I've had to deal with for years, and my patience is wearing thin for this 'thing'. Michael West said I have the 'patience of Job' having to deal with this pain and I'm beginning to think he's right. I've heard of people who were unable to deal with this sort of situation less gracefully than I have. We'll see....

Dell: 3, Momotaro: 0

About three weeks ago, I take my laptop to work and plug it in and start working. About an hour later, I notice that the battery icon is on, indicating that I'm running not on AC power, but DC power. This wouldn't be a problem, had it not been for the fact that I was plugged right into the AC adapter and not getting any juice. I was horrified.

I check the cord, it looks ok except for some small nicks in it. Upon further investigation, it seems that Mandy (our dog) had chewed on it some and caused an interuption of the wire path in the power cord. No problem, I write Dell Tech Support, and they tell that it would be no problem to get me another one. This was on a Thursday morning that they told me this. Friday morning, a little package showed up at the door, with a fresh power cord.

I try it out there at the house, and it works fine. So I go into work Friday night and it works fine all night long. This time, I just disconnect the power cord from the AC adapter, and just take the cord with me, leaving the adapter there at the desk. When I come in Saturday night, I find that it doesn't work anymore. ARRHH! Now this means I have to write Dell Tech Support again and go through the process one more time. They tell me no problem, and will quickly get a whole replacement out to me.

Tuesday comes, as well as another package. This time it's a whole AC adapter. But wait, what's this? The packing slip says "RETRO". Hmm, I think to myself, that seems odd. I open the box up and am unwrapping the plastic sleeves when I notice the plug. It's a square-ended type plug with three holes in it. Mine was just round with one hole. Well, it doesn't take Stephen Hawking to figure out that this isn't going to work. So I fire out a very angry email to Dell, wanting an explanation. They take a full day getting back to me with my information, and on Wednesday morning they tell me they will send me a replacement part. I sent a reply back, telling them to personally verify that they are going to send the correct part this time. I hear nothing back.

Last Friday, I get my third package from Dell concerning this matter. Horray! A complete AC adapter with matching power cord. I try it, it works. I gingerly remove it from the power strip, taking great care to place it into my laptop bag, treating it as if it were a fragile as an egg, and take it to work. Good news, it worked there too! And so far it's been working since. So I'm not sure if Mandy had bit something else on those cords, making the adapter useless, or if it was just wonky. In any case, I've got a working one now and I'm not going to mess with it as best as I am able.

I still have a high opinion of Dell. Sure, my desktop crapped out, but that was a power surge issue, and had nothing to do with the system itself. I had a friend do a low-level hard drive after thankfully saving most of the material, and I've slowly been reloading software on there. Runs like a champ. And my laptop gets a blue-screen every now and then, even though it's a little more than a month old. It still runs great!

And while Dell may boast the #1 position in customer service, and I've had the problems with them that I've had, I'm only going to assume that the rest of the industry's CS is completely horrible. If you've got a Sony Viao and it breaks, do they come to your house and bust your knee caps after pouring sugar in your gastank? Would Apple run up to your door and ring the doorbell after leaving a flaming bag of dog poo should you crack the screen of your Mac? Do the customers of Toshiba get a punch in the face if they are having IRQ driver conflicts?

Saving lives, one pint at a time

I gave blood today, at the OBI here in Tulsa. I went in with an appointment to give RBCP, but they asked me to give 2RBC. I can't refuse somebody my blood, so I did it. This means I can't donate for another 120 days, but that's just a few days longer than two pints of whole blood. Also, today marked my 2 gallon marker. That means I have given 2 gallons of blood to needy people. Besides the satisfaction of this feeling, I also got two stickers on my shirt, a t-shirt and a hat. What more could a guy want?

Jen and myself are about to go out with some friends to have dinner celebrating both of our birthdays. (Jen's is the 19th of July, fyi) Just sitting here on the couch, watching cartoons, smelling the worst of the worst of dog farts, and waiting for 6 to roll around. Afterwards we're probably going to go hit the theater and see Anchorman. If it's anything like I've heard, it should be good.

A note to Michael West: Thanks for talking to me this morning. It's a shame I didn't know you sooner in my life.
I'm outtie.

-J

He didn't fall? Inconceivable!

So, I'm flipping around on IMDb and I run across a movie that Anton LeVey almost had a part in, thereby giving him movie star status. If you don't know who LeVay is, consider yourself a fine and upstanding citizen. He is the author of the The Satanic Bible, and the founder of the modern day Church of Satan. According to his biography in IMDb (hey, I was bored), he led a very active lifestyle, was very intelligent and had from what I could tell, had an ideal family.

Granted, this isn't exactly Ozzie and Harriet. He was most assuredly a bad man, fond of womanizing as well as rule-breaking. Now, that in and of itself doesn't make him a 'bad' man, as I know people like that. But any simularities between my friends and LeVey stops there. His mission in life was to live the creed of "Do what you want, right now, no matter the consequenses." Apparently the Church of Satan isn't all that bad, it just means living your life the way you want to live it, rules and morals don't matter, monogamy is old-fashioned idea, and hooded black robes are in vogue.

What scares me is that black robes aside, we as a society are living our lives this way right now. Just by watching television you can tell that our attitude towards a decent standard of living has gone away. I'm not going to start bible-thumping, but I do want to make a few points. I really don't like the way that girls are dressing way too provocitive. I don't mean like, 16-17 year olds. I'm talking 12-13 year olds. The day I see my nieces wear mini-skirts and way-to-tight t-shirts, I'm going to clutch my chest and start weaving around like Fred Sanford. I don't like the fact that doctors want to push a pill down every kid's throat for a solution instead of addressing the root of the problem. I don't like the fact that Garfield: The Movie got greenlit and then made while I'm still waiting on a sequel to Big Trouble in Little China. And I especially don't like the fact that interest rates are rising and I'm going to have to pay out the wahzoo for our house.

Ok, those last two were a bit much, but my point is this: Anton LeVey is dead. He died of pulmonary edema back in 1997, which any search on Google will tell you is fluid accumulation and swelling in the lungs. Sounds like a bad way to go, even for such an evil man. It's a shame he couldn't have found joy in his life like so many of my friends and family have. Surely if a person has backward as I am could find it, I would think a man of his talent and experience should have stumbled across the path of righteousness a few times in his life.

Maybe, just maybe, this means that I'm more perceptive, more cunning and more intelligent than Anton LeVey. And that, I already knew.

Happy Birthday to me...

So, I've been thirty for about 47 minutes now, according to the clock on my cable box. I'm sitting here in silence, except for the dog chewing on a chip bag that she dug out of the trash, and I'm waiting on Jen to get off work.

So far, it's not really special. I don't feel grown up. I don't feel my age and I damn sure don't feel wiser. *sigh* But I am growing up, and that scares me a little bit. Not because I'm a year closer to kicking the bucket, but because I feel I haven't lived up to anybody's expectations of me. I wonder if I'm successful like my parents are. I wonder why I haven't gotten a kid (or kids) and a house like my sisters and friends all have, all of which have done all of this younger than me. I wonder why that scares me so.

I wonder what has held me back from responsibility for so long. And isn't that was growing up is all about? Responsibility?

Well crap, the dog just pooed on the carpet, two inches from her wee pad. Time to clean it up. Maybe that's what growing up is. Cleaning up other people's poo.

WILL BLOG FOR MONEY

So, I talked to our loan officer yesterday and I get some grave news and some good news. First the good news: We've been approved! Now the bad news: It's going to be about $900 a month if we buy the home we're thinking of. That's way more than I had planned on spending. I was heartbroken, and I actually shed a couple of tears as this was just putting me in such a bad mood. Things had been going bad since the previous night, and Jen and I got into a spat, I was having problems with my new laptop, and it just seemed that money was going to be tight for the next 30 years. I was, as they say, a little emotional.

Thankfully I have a wife who is a quick thinker, sometimes quicker than me. This is a very good thing. She checked online and found a decent house for much cheaper (about $13,000 less) than the ones we had picked out. Maybe since she's off today we might check it out and mabye if it's a good looking one, we'll talk to our realtor and see what the next course of action is.

My main concern is this: should one of us lose our jobs, I don't want to have to be living from paycheck to paycheck. I want to be able to know that we'll have a little money in the back leftover every month in case we need some emergency cash. If we're going to be paying $900 towards a house that I'm not absolutly in love with, it's not going to work. God-willing, this will all work out.