Web's top algarhythms suck!

Google. Yahoo. Infoseek. Even that Jeeves fellow. None of them can provide me with lyrics to "Exercise Your Choppers", one of those Saturday morning anti-junk food PSA staples along with "Make a Saturday" and "Hanker for a Hunka (a slice or slab or chunka). I remember part of the lyrics, "They're dancing in Peoria, they're jogging in L.A. Doing lots of crazy things to get and stay in shape. But if you wanna have great choppers, and The Chopper, yeah that's me. To really have great choppers, exercise your teeth!" That is from memory, so forgive me if it's a little off.

The amount of useless crap I have my head surprises even me sometimes. Remembering the opening to The Get-Along Gang? The names of the Shirt Tales? Being one of the people to work out the Lorenzo Music/Bill Murry circle when the Garfield movie came out? Why do I know this stuff? I should be more in tune with the current world.

Ask me to name any of the current supreme court judges and I'll look at you like my cat looks at me when I'm on the toilet. I haven't watched Lost, I don't know who's who on Heroes, I could really care less what Bill O'Reily has to say. Terminally unhip, chronically dorky. I yam what I yam.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go listen to 'Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!' on NPR while sipping chai tea from my NPR pledge drive mug and maybe watching This American Life on Showtime. Heeeee!

Saints A-Fire!

For the first time in seven years, I missed A-Kon this past weekend. I missed it. I missed being with the group. I missed the sushi. God-love me I even missed the smell.

Between bouts of coughing fits (from an as-yet unknown disease) I spent the weekend with the girl and her kid, they got moved in and we spent a good portion of my vacation getting it 'couple-ready'. And it's a good thing too, as I was living in a cave, devoid of light and fresh air. She walks in, she pulls out my vacuum, opens a window or two and Voila! A place I can finally bring people over too! And we did! Carlie's cousin Julie came up with her new beux Lance, spent the day just hanging out. And I wasn't worried about what they thought of my house.


Truly, a woman worth hanging on to.

So I walked into work today, glance up at the television that has Fox News playing. Fox News, the first name in information, a band name for cutting edge info to the masses!! What do I see under the banner of "BREAKING NEWS!"? Paris Hilton is going back to jail. WTF? She goes to jail. Gets out of jail. Goes back to jail. bleh. But giant kudos go to Sarah Silverman for nailing the blonde partygirl to the wall at the 2007 MTV Movie Awards. And it was a twofer! Not only a comment about her going to jail, but also a little jab about her breaking her teeth on penis-shaped jail bars. Zing! The camera cuts to Hilton a few times and while you can see her smile and play it off, the fact that she's shaken is very visible. Tee hee.

Oh yeah, something else of note. I'm not my medications for my TS. That being Tourette's Syndome for those not in the know. The stuff I was one caused me severe depression, so I had to take Lexapro, which helped, but made me a very miserable person to be around. So, I just stopped taking it. Both of them. Been off them for about two months and honestly my tics are about the same. Who knew? :-D

I'm at work, gotta run. Love to all.

New cell phone

Got a new phone. It has a camera.

So far, I've taken pictures of various body parts and sent them to coworkers more than anything else. A strange asian man in the drive thru of McD's walking around, a Newcastle Brown delivery truck, my cats in various acts of feline debachary... none of my pics so far are as fun as when sending a coworker a picture of some fleshy bit.

Oh yeah. Ex wife is about to have a kid. Ex girlfriend is getting married.

And what of me? Well I just might be getting hitched myself...

More to come.

New sherriff in town

Hmm...

How does one announce certain news? If I were have, let's say cancer, I would be morose and hopeful. If I gotten a job in another city I would be jubilent and excited. But what if one falls in love? Do they explode with butterflies and puppy dog tails? I did that last time and it blew up in my face. I had poured a lot of emotion into the previous effort and it went sour. And I really don't want that to happen this time.

Why? It's simple. Because I believe in this one. Well, I believed in the last two as well, but it feels different. I can't place my finger on it, but it's so... honest? Pure? I don't know. But I am giddy. Giddy giddy giddy. Giddy as a school girl.

I have a tendency to make my love posts all sugar-laden, almost to the point that you'll need an insulin shot after reading them. I'll try to keep the glucose to a tolerable level. But I've got to warn you.... I'm giddy.

She came all the way from California, so she's done both goth AND valley girl. Which is cool, as I've done both dork AND geek. Yeah, that's right. I've got range, people!! But she's cool. We can go from talking about Jake Ryan to mashed potato recipes and then over to discussing Nicolas Sparks movies... yeah.. she's cool. And I'm smitten.

..and giddy.

-J

Well well

Hmm...

A lot has happened in the while since I've last wrote. Anybody who reads this has surely already known about it, but in the case of writing and straglers, I'll recap.

My father has had some, let's say 'nasal issues, and was to get them corrected with surgery. His general doctor wanted a stress test for his heart and it's a good thing. Long story short, Daddy-O just had a quintuple bypass this past Monday. He came out drugged and sore, but ultimately alive, which is the exact outcome I wanted. He and mom are back home and now begins the process of eating better and exercise. Not just for him, but for me as well.

The interesting thing was catching up with family I haven't seen in years. My Aunt Betty and Uncle Jim, who moved up from Richardson to Miami, OK some time back moved down to Ada just a few weeks ago. I begged Betty to do this when she had kids living with her, so I could have been around my cousins Trent and Steven more (no offence Carrie but I was 6), but no dice. But we had a few conversations and that helped me so much. My Aunt Connie and Uncle Warren came up as well. And I would have to say, Connie helped me so much when my mother passed away. It was pretty emotional having my father go through open heart surgery, but having my family there made it so much better.

And now? Now I'm weighing my options. Some things have come to light and are in dire need of repair. Things will unfold, sails will unfural and maybe... just maybe... ships may launch.

I got emails from cousins I haven't seen in years as well. It seems that while we grow and move apart, we are after all family. Still haven't heard from Stephen, who was all-time favorite person when I was kid. Maybe his siblings will pass this on and let him know...

Yeah, I know... this is all gooshy family stuff. Or as Ed from Shaun of the Dead would put it, "Gaaaay....". Which I just watched last night. Again. Because I'm in love with Kate Ashfield. Yum.

Later

Stupid ovservation

When running through my on-screen guide for cable last night, I came across a show on Food Network titled "Ace Of Cakes".

Naturally, the thing I do is start singing "The ACE of CAKES! The ACE of CAKES!" like Lemmy from Motorhead.

I'm going to die lonely.

Prayers got to my cousin Kim who is going through some scary stuff. But she's tough. She took me down with an Incredible Hulk snow mitten when I was a big, tough 5. Love you Kimbo!! Lots of hope!

Rage!!

I wrote this big, beautiful poetic story about artwork, poo and toilets and now, somehow, Blogger lost it.

High art it wasn't, but mighty funny in my opinion.

Dang.