Who's your daddy?
I was talking about my father tonight with Bib and it got me to thinking about him. I would like to take this opportunity to tell my friends about my father, whom they may not know like I know him. If you're one of those friends who don't read my sappy posts, then that's ok. I forgive you. But you'll get none of my peaches!!
My dad was absent a lot it seems when I was growing up. He worked for Sears there in Ada for several years and since he worked on commission, and since he was a damn fine salesmen, he would have to work Saturdays, about three a month if memory serves, and so he missed a lot of my free time during the school year. And as a result of that, I didn't have a lot of free time to spend with dad. He was busy putting food on the table and making sure we had money for house payments and all that grown-up stuff that I didn't know about at that time. It's a shame I didn't appreciate that more growning up.
When I was down last weekend, he told me that he regreted deeply not being able to be with me as much as he wanted when I was a kid. This saddened me so much, as I know I was pretty distant from my dad, especially after my mom died. And even know I feel closer to Nancy/Mom than I do my own birth father. I guess this is a son/mother complex that would indicate that I'm a "mamma's boy". I'll accept this label and wear it proudly. I never viewed my father with hatred, but sometimes he and I didn't always see eye to eye.
I remember when I had my breakdown back in '97. I was angry at Dad, I was angry at God, and I was just a miserable person to be around. Thankfully I had a talk with some people that love me very much and they brought me out of it. You people should know who you are, and I thank you, even though not all of them read this blog. They are people that are special to me, people that have been friends for years, some only a short time, but all a near and dear to me even to this day.
Well, heck, ok. I guess that's really only what I wanted to say about dad. He was in the military, but he never discussed the details with me, so I never asked for fear that he may view them too personal. He was in Viet Nam, and if he doesn't want to think about the horrors he faced or the atrocities he witnessed, then I don't want to make him retell them. He's served his country, and he has served his family, very well I might add. I'm proud to be his son. And I love that man very much.
Why do all my posts deal with this family stuff? Am I losing my reading audience? Let me hear from you please! I crave validation. :-D
1 Comments:
Jay, I think your Dad is a great man who raised a wonderful son and provided for his family the best he could. We tend to see things differently as children than we do as adults. I am sure he understands this. I too didn't get to spend a great deal of time with my own Dad, although the time I did have with him he always told and showed us how much he loved us. Something you said the other night impacted me quite a bit. We were talking about marriages and your parents marriage and you said that you never heard them say a cross word. When you asked your mom why/how she said that she respected your Dad. This hit me so hard. It's respect. It works both ways and when given mutual respect there are no limits to love. I think about my own parents marriage, and there it is again, respect. I know that my mother and my father respect and love each other deeply. I realise now just how lucky I am to have had them together for 27 years. I only hope that we can be so lucky. I am sure you already know every word that comes out of my mouth, and could probably finish my sentences before I even got them out; but I want you to know that I respect you. The big things like your morals, values, and your virtues as well as the little things like you thinking of me enough to share your orange juice with me. Ok, enough sappy stuff, your readers are probably gagging from the amount of it oozing from this post. 37!
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