Potty humor

There's something that's been on my mind, more or less, for the past 5 1/2 years. It's nothing 'dirty', but it does deal in dirty things. Bathrooms. Specifically the ones here where I work.

Now, I'm not discussing the cleanliness of them. I imagine they are about average in the tech-company bathroom cleanliness scale of things. I'm more concerned with quantity.

There are four break stations out in the general area of our floor, and another one here in the ECC. That's five total. That's six fridges, five sinks, five coffee machines and five microwaves. If one wants to cool their drinks, get hot coffee or heat up their popcorn, they have a bevy of choices of where to do it at.

However, doing 'the deed' is another matter. We've only got two 'restroom areas' on this floor. In each potty station there is a gender-specific area and one even has a handicap station for either gender. That's five individual restrooms total, two for males, two for females and one for gimps. Five break areas, five bathrooms. Sounds like it should be even.

Oh contrarie...

Each bathroom area (there are only two remember) are more or less in the middle of the floor. If a person is stationed in the outer limits, it makes things difficult come crisis time. Ok, I'm not about to get into my habits of getting rid of waste material, but I will say that for some people (names omitted) when the call of nature comes, it doesn't come gently. The need to go is swift and if not immediately done so will be met with severe consequences. And as such, two areas for which to do this business is just not enough. I figure that a person has the need to get a full glass of water about as often as they would need to use the restroom. I guess that there is small difference there, but for the most part, I don't see how limiting restrooms is a smart thing to do to your employees. Cabrones!

I have no way to end this rant so let me segway with this: DDR

That's right. Dance Dance Revolution. I've finally tried it and damn if it's not the most fun way to loose weight. Well, strike that. I suppose that would probably be rolling around under the covers with your partner, but since nobody wants to imagine that about me, I'll just stick with the dancing thing.

Dancing! To music! Me! Hitting stupid little arrows with your feet as they fly up at high speed and you've gotta make like Savion Glover to get a decent score. By the way, I scored a "D", which if you didn't know, is about as good in DDR as it was in junior high. I suck, but man is it a workout. If you've never tried it, I suggest you find somebody with a pad (Em, I'm looking at you) and kick everybody out of the room while you make an ass of yourself. I still won't do it in public, but it is a killer workout.

FYI: Unless you're a 90-lb asian kid, don't even think of doing a heavy song with mods. You will die.

That's all I got. Later.