Friday, June 10, 2005

Dying buds of taste

Friday evening, the group of us that went to A-Kon all went to Atomic Sushi in the West End for dinner, our return trip there since last year. Each of, with the exception of new guy Patrick, were eagerly looking forward to the meal.

Now, let me make this statement. I LOVE sushi. You would be hard pressed to put some quality stuff down in front of me and I wouldn't enjoy it. I would have thought that I liked it all for the most part. Turns out I was wrong...

We order several rolls between the seven of us. Erin had ordered some kind of fried sweet thing that was really yummy. David ordered a California, as did I. Smitty, Paul and Michael just let me order for the four of us, so I had picked out some quality things, like a Scorpion roll, Cajun roll, simple things. Michael was feeling the need to try new things as well, so he ordered a Quail Egg and two pieces of ikura, or giant salmon roe. I was also in the mood for a little heat, so I picked out something that sounded harmless but warm, "Ultimate Death". Patrick, having never tried sushi, wanted something hot as well, so he got the "Devil Roll". It is at this time I should point out that for this story's purposes, the Patrick refered to is not the Patrick normally refered to in this blog, this is an entirely different Patrick, and that chances are, will never be refered to again after this story.

Back on topic...

The seven of us ordered three bowls of edamane, which we shuck and eat with verve. Conversation is fun and light, the atmospeare is pleasent and at the time, we have not a care in the world. Then our dinner came.

We had ordered so much, that our food came on three plates. For some reason, Erin's fried roll got it's own starring platform. We each sampled the fair, eating to our own contentment. I had finished most of my meal, when I had realized that we were short a plate. The hot rolls that both Patrick and I order were not there. We tell the waiter and goes to fetch them. When he comes back, he explains to the two of us which is which. "This," he carefully points to a plain looking roll, "Is the Ultimate Death. The other is the Devil Roll". The one next to mine had some kind of green junk on it. I didn't know what it was, nor did I care, as I plenty to eat already, and was only going to consume a few of this roll anyway.

By this point in dinner, Michael had yet to try his Salmon Roe sushi, something that we were all eyeing warily. About the size of 8-gauge buckshot, these fat, red balls sat quivering with a shake of the table. David, in a RARE display of culinary daring, offered to try one of the harmless-looking spearoids. The look of disgust should have tipped us off. "It tastes like an entire fish market exploded in my mouth." he informed his wife and Smitty. I missed this handy piece of information however. Smitty tried a single red dot as well. His enjoyment was about the same as David's. Michael was gearing up for it, so he ate an entire piece, roe, rice, nori and a quick dunk into a wasabi/soy sauce bath and it was down. "It's not bad. You should try one Jay."

During the tasting of the fish seeds, I had been entertaining the table with my faces of oddity while eating my "Ultimate Death" roll. I had tried hot sushi before, when Smitty and I ventured into Sushi Rock back in 2000, and this was about the same. The heat from the brown mustard and thick wasabi paste that covered the roll I was eating was clearing my sinuses and making my eyes water. I would throw my head back and sniff some cool air, hoping to aileviate the pain. Apparently, the other people at the table thought this was humorus... ;-) Patrick also said that his roll was "pretty hot". I will now bring to attention the fact that Patrick loves hot food. Loves it. Hot. Food. I mean HOT hot, not that wimpy hot you get on a Wendy's Spicy Chicken. No, this sadistic man buys sauces that you need to sign a release for. That kind of hot. So Patrick offered me a piece of his roll as well. If you'll remember, this was the "Devil Roll".

I had two pieces of of sushi I had never tried before. I have had salmon roe before, but only the really tiny kind, when they use it as a topper, never as a main component in a maki roll.

Now, everyone was kind of egging me on, and if you know me, you'll know I'm always up for a challenge, especially a culinary one. David and Smitty had tried one whole roe, Michael had actually went and ate a whole section, so why not? I tried a single egg for starters. My Lord in Heaven. This was like scraping the belly of a catfish, filtering out anything that might taste good and then depositing it into a gelatin ball. The "pop" of the egg in my mouth almost made me gag, so who knows why I would want to eat an entire piece of maki. Again, ever the one to goad me, Michael says "It's not so bad when you eat the entire thing, with the wasabi and soysauce."

I picked up the remaining piece, all wrapped up in nori, looking red and shiney. I gave it a quick dip in a soy mix and popped it into my mouth. I started chewing with vigor and enthusiasim, tiny bubbles of fish oil coating my mouth with each bite. It was about halfway through the chewing process when it hit me. The combination of the taste and texture was about to make me vomit. I had a very horrid look on my face. Erin had asked if I wanted to spit it out, and I just slowly nodded. I got up and headed toward the bathroom.

Michael wasn't having that. "Oh come on! It's not that bad! I was going to eat that piece if I had known you were just going to spit it out." That was it, I decided. I was just going to suck it up by sucking it down. I turned back toward the table and sat down again, giving Michael a look that would have stopped a moose in heat. Still chewing on this very fishy mixture of roe, rice and nori was making me a little sick.. I was having to swallow tiny bits as slowly as I could, or else I was going to loose it there at the table. Everybody was enjoying this, except for me. I just knew it was *ick* and very oily.

After I had gotten the last bite down, I needed something to get that taste out of my mouth. I still had that small section of Patrick's "Devil Roll" on my plate, so I was going to use that to clean the palate. In hindsite I should have just licked the floor for these purposes. I slowly gave this section of roll a dip in the soy and wasabi mix, and put it gingerly into my mouth. I began chewing, hoping that the rice in this role would soak up some of the fish oil. It turns out I shouldn't have worried about that, as three seconds into eating this harmless-looking piece of sushi I had fire shooting out of my nose and tears in my eyes. I would like to state that I enjoy my fair share of hot stuff, but boys and girls, this was hot. HOT hot. Really, truely hot. I should have guessed that since Patrick likes to eat hot things, and he was having trouble finishing off the role, that would have been my clue to just pass on the experience. This was a three-snort roll, meaning I threw my head back and breathed in air three times from the heat in my nostrals. Wow...

So, suffice to say, we all had some really good sushi, some really awful sushi and some really hot sushi. I also got to enjoy a wonderful meal with my friends, while providing them some entertainment for their dinning experience. I am, if anything, a good dining partner. In life, I'm happy to have a purpose. Even if it's a useless one. :-)

4 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

I totally know that sudden OH MY GOD I'M GONNA PUKE moment related to a specific taste and texture of something. It happens rarely, thankfully, but MAN, when it happens it's horrible. No one wants to puke at a restaurant. NO ONE. Well, maybe Andy Kaufman or something like that.

11/6/05 11:33 PM  
Blogger Scott Roche said...

I loves me some sushi. I am not as well educated as perhaps you are on the subject but the next time we get together we need to go eat some bait together!

13/6/05 10:17 AM  
Blogger bib said...

All I can say is never eat fish that jiggles. That's just nasty. I finally saw your "Silver Bullet" infomercial, btw. Nacho's Anybody?

13/6/05 9:58 PM  
Blogger Don Tate II said...

Oh, I'd kill for a California roll right at this moment. Well, maybe not kill.

17/6/05 10:50 AM  

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