Momotaro's House of Mild Amusement

Web's top algarhythms suck!

2007-06-13T22:30:00.000-05:00

Google. Yahoo. Infoseek. Even that Jeeves fellow. None of them can provide me with lyrics to "Exercise Your Choppers", one of those Saturday morning anti-junk food PSA staples along with "Make a Saturday" and "Hanker for a Hunka (a slice or slab or chunka). I remember part of the lyrics, "They're dancing in Peoria, they're jogging in L.A. Doing lots of crazy things to get and stay in shape. But if you wanna have great choppers, and The Chopper, yeah that's me. To really have great choppers, exercise your teeth!" That is from memory, so forgive me if it's a little off.

The amount of useless crap I have my head surprises even me sometimes. Remembering the opening to The Get-Along Gang? The names of the Shirt Tales? Being one of the people to work out the Lorenzo Music/Bill Murry circle when the Garfield movie came out? Why do I know this stuff? I should be more in tune with the current world.

Ask me to name any of the current supreme court judges and I'll look at you like my cat looks at me when I'm on the toilet. I haven't watched Lost, I don't know who's who on Heroes, I could really care less what Bill O'Reily has to say. Terminally unhip, chronically dorky. I yam what I yam.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go listen to 'Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!' on NPR while sipping chai tea from my NPR pledge drive mug and maybe watching This American Life on Showtime. Heeeee!

Saints A-Fire!

2007-06-08T15:55:00.000-05:00

For the first time in seven years, I missed A-Kon this past weekend. I missed it. I missed being with the group. I missed the sushi. God-love me I even missed the smell.

Between bouts of coughing fits (from an as-yet unknown disease) I spent the weekend with the girl and her kid, they got moved in and we spent a good portion of my vacation getting it 'couple-ready'. And it's a good thing too, as I was living in a cave, devoid of light and fresh air. She walks in, she pulls out my vacuum, opens a window or two and Voila! A place I can finally bring people over too! And we did! Carlie's cousin Julie came up with her new beux Lance, spent the day just hanging out. And I wasn't worried about what they thought of my house.

Truly, a woman worth hanging on to.

So I walked into work today, glance up at the television that has Fox News playing. Fox News, the first name in information, a band name for cutting edge info to the masses!! What do I see under the banner of "BREAKING NEWS!"? Paris Hilton is going back to jail. WTF? She goes to jail. Gets out of jail. Goes back to jail. bleh. But giant kudos go to Sarah Silverman for nailing the blonde partygirl to the wall at the 2007 MTV Movie Awards. And it was a twofer! Not only a comment about her going to jail, but also a little jab about her breaking her teeth on penis-shaped jail bars. Zing! The camera cuts to Hilton a few times and while you can see her smile and play it off, the fact that she's shaken is very visible. Tee hee.

Oh yeah, something else of note. I'm not my medications for my TS. That being Tourette's Syndome for those not in the know. The stuff I was one caused me severe depression, so I had to take Lexapro, which helped, but made me a very miserable person to be around. So, I just stopped taking it. Both of them. Been off them for about two months and honestly my tics are about the same. Who knew? :-D

I'm at work, gotta run. Love to all.

New cell phone

2007-02-17T09:01:00.000-06:00

Got a new phone. It has a camera.

So far, I've taken pictures of various body parts and sent them to coworkers more than anything else. A strange asian man in the drive thru of McD's walking around, a Newcastle Brown delivery truck, my cats in various acts of feline debachary... none of my pics so far are as fun as when sending a coworker a picture of some fleshy bit.

Oh yeah. Ex wife is about to have a kid. Ex girlfriend is getting married.

And what of me? Well I just might be getting hitched myself...

More to come.

New sherriff in town

2006-09-26T19:37:00.000-05:00

Hmm...

How does one announce certain news? If I were have, let's say cancer, I would be morose and hopeful. If I gotten a job in another city I would be jubilent and excited. But what if one falls in love? Do they explode with butterflies and puppy dog tails? I did that last time and it blew up in my face. I had poured a lot of emotion into the previous effort and it went sour. And I really don't want that to happen this time.

Why? It's simple. Because I believe in this one. Well, I believed in the last two as well, but it feels different. I can't place my finger on it, but it's so... honest? Pure? I don't know. But I am giddy. Giddy giddy giddy. Giddy as a school girl.

I have a tendency to make my love posts all sugar-laden, almost to the point that you'll need an insulin shot after reading them. I'll try to keep the glucose to a tolerable level. But I've got to warn you.... I'm giddy.

She came all the way from California, so she's done both goth AND valley girl. Which is cool, as I've done both dork AND geek. Yeah, that's right. I've got range, people!! But she's cool. We can go from talking about Jake Ryan to mashed potato recipes and then over to discussing Nicolas Sparks movies... yeah.. she's cool. And I'm smitten.

..and giddy.

-J

Well well

2006-09-09T11:16:00.000-05:00

Hmm...

A lot has happened in the while since I've last wrote. Anybody who reads this has surely already known about it, but in the case of writing and straglers, I'll recap.

My father has had some, let's say 'nasal issues, and was to get them corrected with surgery. His general doctor wanted a stress test for his heart and it's a good thing. Long story short, Daddy-O just had a quintuple bypass this past Monday. He came out drugged and sore, but ultimately alive, which is the exact outcome I wanted. He and mom are back home and now begins the process of eating better and exercise. Not just for him, but for me as well.

The interesting thing was catching up with family I haven't seen in years. My Aunt Betty and Uncle Jim, who moved up from Richardson to Miami, OK some time back moved down to Ada just a few weeks ago. I begged Betty to do this when she had kids living with her, so I could have been around my cousins Trent and Steven more (no offence Carrie but I was 6), but no dice. But we had a few conversations and that helped me so much. My Aunt Connie and Uncle Warren came up as well. And I would have to say, Connie helped me so much when my mother passed away. It was pretty emotional having my father go through open heart surgery, but having my family there made it so much better.

And now? Now I'm weighing my options. Some things have come to light and are in dire need of repair. Things will unfold, sails will unfural and maybe... just maybe... ships may launch.

I got emails from cousins I haven't seen in years as well. It seems that while we grow and move apart, we are after all family. Still haven't heard from Stephen, who was all-time favorite person when I was kid. Maybe his siblings will pass this on and let him know...

Yeah, I know... this is all gooshy family stuff. Or as Ed from Shaun of the Dead would put it, "Gaaaay....". Which I just watched last night. Again. Because I'm in love with Kate Ashfield. Yum.

Later

Stupid ovservation

2006-08-25T21:11:00.000-05:00

When running through my on-screen guide for cable last night, I came across a show on Food Network titled "Ace Of Cakes".

Naturally, the thing I do is start singing "The ACE of CAKES! The ACE of CAKES!" like Lemmy from Motorhead.

I'm going to die lonely.

Prayers got to my cousin Kim who is going through some scary stuff. But she's tough. She took me down with an Incredible Hulk snow mitten when I was a big, tough 5. Love you Kimbo!! Lots of hope!

Rage!!

2006-08-23T22:45:00.000-05:00

I wrote this big, beautiful poetic story about artwork, poo and toilets and now, somehow, Blogger lost it.

High art it wasn't, but mighty funny in my opinion.

Dang.

Queen of Travel, Prince of Food, King of Comedy

2006-08-02T15:58:00.000-05:00

This morning I had a very cool dream. A dream of boundless possibilities. A dream... of Samantha Brown.

I was in a mall, looking for some friends that had gotten away from me. It's odd how often this happens in real life, so naturally I dream of this too. I'm walking by an Orange Julius and I hear a familier voice. Dulced tones of a travel goddess. I turn my head and there is Samantha Brown from the Travel Channel, talking to some friends. I walk up to her, we chat a bit and I get her autograph. In my little dreamworld I am freaking out. "Wow!" I think to myself, "I can't wait to tell my friends I flirted with Sam Brown."

In reality, the only person I know who even knows who she is is my ex-wife, who gave me grief for having a little crush on the television personality, and most likely, nobody would care.

I leave her with other fans and I don't walk very far when I come across another familier voice. It's the star/host/briner of "Good Eats", Alton Brown (no relation to Samantha Brown. Again, we chat and talk for a while. I snag his John Hancock as well and I am elated. Two celebrities that I actually like and I got their autograph. I am so happy.

As the foodie and I are talking, I feel a sharp pain in my head. I wake up to the cat licking my eyelid with great ferver. I shoo him away and lay there thinking... "I don't have their autographs. It was all a dream. I never talked to either person."

I was a little sad.

Then I got up, at a bowl of Honeycomb and forgot about it as I watched a Tivo'd show of Cedric the Entertainer. W0000!!

"Tic"ed off

2006-07-25T10:45:00.000-05:00

Hey Dr. Laura.

You are small-minded, ignorant and above all else, just plain rude.

So from the bottom of my heart, Fuck you!

Sincerley

Jay/a guy with TS

A venti mug of funk

2006-07-14T17:53:00.000-05:00

Hey.

Hey you.

You the stinky guy that works in FrontEnds.

Yeah, you. Come over here.

WAIT!! Scratch that. DON'T come over here. Just listen to what I have to say.

Take a bar of soap and stick it under your fucking arm and scrub. For like, three minutes. After that, wash your hair. Yeah, that grease-trap on top of your noggin. Take some EASY-OFF oven clean and just douse your head with it. And then, and this is important, use a deoderant. It doesn't have to be an anti-persperent, but just something that smells good, whatever it is, I don't care. Glade Stick-On, some mulberry potpourri, an Arm & Hammer fridge brick I DON"T CARE. Just something.

And then if you could refrain from telling me how to telnet into my own shit, that would be swell too. It's NOC equipment, therefore NOC will deal with it. 'Nuff said.

Thank you.

Signed-
-The guy that is lying passed out

Sooperman weturns wevew

2006-07-04T18:39:00.000-05:00

Here is my review of "Superman Returns"

*Hi, I'm Jay. I'm four years old and when I grow up, I want to be just like Superman.*

That's pretty much what I took out of the theater yesterday afternoon.

IE: It was glorious. It was fantastic. And it was beautiful. I am of course talking about Parker Posey, who is just yummy.

Enjoy your 4th, Americans!

If it wasn't for Carbon-14, I wouldn't date at all

2006-06-27T13:18:00.000-05:00

*meh*

It is truly amazing the amount of cathair that my apartment has accumulated. I can not fathom that my single feline has shed the amount of fur that I have found in the past few days of moving boxes and sheets and oh, what's that under the bed OH MY GOSH THAT'S GROSS kind of stuff.

Woke up this morning with "The Lonely Goatherd" song from Sound of Music in my head.

I want to plug the lastest Fiona Apple CD again. I posted about it some time back and if I wasn't so darn lazy I would link to it, but as such, just Google it. I have been listening to it while getting the remains of the apartment boxed up and I am enjoying it all over again.

One last thing: I need 'window treatments'. Any females want to go shopping? Any gay men want to show me swatches?

Grinding Enamel

2006-06-12T07:17:00.000-05:00

Just got back from A-Kon, had a blast. I'll tell you about it, but not right now. I just woke up from a dream that really upset me. Lemme tell you about it.

This dream was about my mother, who's been gone for almost 19 years now. In this, she was engaged to some jerk that she met while she was taking dance lessons, she was telling a friend that she was going to miss us, but she just wanted a better life, away from dad and me with this rich guy.

I woke up with my teeth all in pain, I'm guessing because I was grinding them.

I really hate dreams like that.

And apparently I've got abandonment issues on top of every other thing I've got.

Crap.

Muskrat Love?

2006-06-04T09:42:00.000-05:00

I awoke this sunny Sunday morn
with a personallity that was quite torn
There were twelve seperate little Jays
Why this was, I cannot say.

Each one of me had taken a pill
The results of which made me ill.
The effect was which made me down
Depression had come to make me frown

I turned on my computer, looked for songs
that could cheer me up, that would right my wrongs
I needed some music that could keep it real
"Love Will Keep Us Together" by Captain and Tennile

Some "Tiny Dancer" by Sir Elton John
Fugees "killing me softly with his song"
A little bit of Run DMC, a smidge of BNL
Pixies, White Stripes and a mix by Pharrel

Now I'm whole again, as it is
One last song by the Markie, Biz
"Just a Friend" seems to be our motto
I got nothing that rhymns with that...

...so I bid you all good day!

Warming back up

2006-05-26T00:24:00.000-05:00

Mini-Kiss is an all-midget Kiss band. Early this year the Mini-Peter Cris quit the band and he was replaced by a Mini-Eric Carr.

That is just awesome.

**

I'm supposed to get a bonus here at work soon. Don't start hitting me up for money just yet. I'm worried that it will be a "Jelly of the month" kind of thing.

Hey Boss. I can't pay the rent with Boysenberry. Gimmie da cassssh.

**

My sister is moving on from a bad time, and I just want to say that I'm very proud of her for staying strong.

**

Kevin & Melissa Waterman are having a baby!! W00t!

I've got nothng. I'll be back from my mini sabbitical soon.

To those that we call mom, we salute you!

2006-05-14T08:17:00.000-05:00

So, you women that have given birth to us ruddy kids, to those that have wiped away tears, soothed boo-boos with kisses, stayed up late to make 30 cupcakes, talked over coffee about little things, I give many thanks. Just about every woman I know is a mom, and I can tell that it is a thankless, tiring job a lot of the time. And you mothers may not realize it now, but your kid loves you so much.

To Nancy & Shirley, Amy, Brooke, Christy, Christie, Melissa, Stephanie, Erin, Bib, Renee, Amber, Kim, Other Kim, Emily and any other mother that may read this...

Happy Mother's Day!

uh.... I've got this hole in my shirt, could you, if you've got time, do a little sewing? :-D

Happy Dos de Mayo, mi amigos!

2006-05-02T19:47:00.000-05:00

Had a mixed weekend. Mixed, meaning it was sweetness and John Wayne movies and doodlebugs and missed plans and cancellations and an invite to snuggle with Delaney. On the exam of life, this weekend passed (as a whole), but only because of extra credit done Monday.

A member of our group will not be attending A-Kon with us this year. I won't say who, but he's an ex-Baptist minister that lives on 14th St next to the old Peripheral building. I was a tad upset to learn this. Not so much that "I didn't want to go with a bunch of guys (and Erin!) and watch lonely, attention-starved people dress up in Sailor Moon outfits" kind-of-way, but in a "I've got a new woman and she's hot and I'm going to spend the weekend with her in Kansas at a wedding for people I don't really know." kind-of-way. He realized that his planned weekend with the ladyfriend is the same planned weekend of Atomic Sushi & Pocky & Ramune with us. Naturally, we lost out to her Queen Hawtness. And he realized all this the previous Monday. A full seven days later, I find out from somebody else. I've been harping about this for close to 24 hours now. and I'm just about done. Granted, the new girlfriend is super awesome and really cute, she says her boobs are bigger than mine (still to be determined) and she can knock back liquor like a pro. We discussed placenta facials (long story) and she didn't even bat an eye. Well, she did bat an eye, but it was at her Smitten Kitten or Sniggle Bunny whatever the hell they call each other. ;)

The red-headed Haley was tending the bar that night. She tended it very well. I may have gone over 17% with my tip. I was a little infatuated as she is very cute and very congenial. I want to say she's hot, but I think Paris Hilton copyrighted that phrase, and this bastard will be damned if he pays royalties to that skizzank. Huzzah!

It seems the Monday dinner has expanded to include Smitty. Which is cool, as it's not to often we get to do adult stuff together. Having a kid is great and hanging out with him and his son is a fun time, but sometimes I've got to get a friend plied with rubbing alcohol and Grenedine and hope for fun times. Some places still frown on having children where drunk people gather, so he had a plethora of drinks, sans child. Fun times.

Also, innuendo was flying around Martini's Bar at a great numbers and high velocity. I think I may need to complete some sensitivity training after today. No man, midget or gay bar drinks was spared from my forked tongue. It seems that after a little sauce I can lose my cherub-like demeanor.

Afterwards Paul B. and Jay B. hung out until the early morn. We discussed books, movies, books again, had Black Cherry Coke and Gatorade while tales of the strongest 2-year-old were told. He loaned me text, I repromised to bring down things I had promised a month ago. Christy, sorry I missed you, but you had to be sleeping and it's all your fault, really. I mean, who actually sleeps on a work night anyway? Psssh!

*************************

Cat, if you read this, you are one of us now. You have been initiated unto the fold. Come 2007, he will have no excuse not to make it and neither will you. And thanks for the shots. :D

Clang Clang!

2006-04-28T22:21:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid, on the 'very' few times I got to watch MTV (usually while at a friend's house) I would pray that the video for the Run-DMC/Aerosmith version of "Walk This Way" would come on, as at that time, it was my favorite video. I had different favorite videos over time, but those were the golden years , and I'm sure my top five would come close to a few other folk's that grew up in the 80's.

A-Ha's "Take On Me", Dexy's Midnight Runner's "Come On Eilenne", Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and I can't think of any kid at the time who didn't freak out when "Thriller" came on. Times change and I've got a new favorite. It's an older song, and as so many of things on the internet these days, it's done in Flash. But it's done so well. And it's oh-so catchy.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Maxwell's Silver Hammer by The Beatles.

(Click on 'Watch This Movie!' to, uh, watch that movie)

************************************

I realize that I've taken a slight macabre turn recently. Watching the Chan-Wook Park trilogy will do that to a fella.

Flippin' out!

2006-04-26T21:50:00.000-05:00

For some reason my Blogger account has been acting crazy, as you can tell by the invisible text. Don't know what's up with that...

Talked to sister #2 tonight. She's doing good, not feeling to down, moving on with life, got a nose ring.... :-) She is kicking ass and I'm proud of her.

Friends are getting promotions, moving up, moving on... Christy is doing better from her ordeal, Paul is getting training at his new job, Jennifer is still hating her job, I wish she could find something better, although she did get a replaced pooch and it is nine kinds of cute!! Talked to Dave Tuesday before last, he's doing good. Patrick's doing good. Smitty's doing good. Padre' West is doing good. Roche is doing good. Family is doing good. I think everybody is doing good.

How about you? You doing good?

Time Wasted

2006-04-19T20:49:00.000-05:00

I could write novels about the subject. In fact, I've written several blog posts about it. I was slow to ween off the idea. The idea that I was worth something in her eyes. Any kind of pride. And now I know my answer.

And now I'm done talking about it.

**********************

Hugs go to Brooke and Christy, who are going through tough stuff. I hope you both know you've got people that care and love you, so don't feel you have to go through it alone.

Not quite Mastercard material

2006-04-17T00:09:00.000-05:00

4-Pack of rubber silly teeth - $0.88
Electronic voice changer - $3.99
Three nieces and their goofy uncle - Priceless

Hope everybody had a good Easter. Despite some turmoil and one marriage yesterday, we had a good time today. Fried chicken was eaten, eggs were hunted, and one spider was killed (by moi). Good times...

Tapioca oozing out...

2006-04-01T08:55:00.000-06:00

I had my CCNA bootcamp this past week. We crammed nine days worth of material into five. So needless to say, on the stuff I didn't really get before the class, I really don't have a strong grasp of afterwards. Plus my mind is flayed. MIND FLAYAH! Went out for drinks last night with the girls to decompress, we laughed, we joked, we made cute eyes at our waiter... strike that last one...

Hope to take my CCNA exam on Monday. If not, then it will have to wait a week. 60 questions in 90 minutes. I don't like tests. Despise them really. I asked the course instructor if I could pay him $23 (that's all I had in my wallet) and he could take the test for me. And since I've been the class cutup all week, I was hoping he might go for it just to get me out of the class. Apparently, he was either enjoying my antics or he's got something call morals, as he rejected my offer.

I've had five days of going to bed late and waking up early. I've had a friend in from out of town and we've been having dinner every night, so instead of going home and reviewing like I should have I was out having drinks and flirting at steakhouse waitresses. I didn't feel bad though. NOBODY in our class took their material home and studied it. heh... 15 lazy people... heh.

The place is a pit, my cat is pissed at me for ignoring her for a week and I really really really need to eat something besides restaurant food. I'll talk to you later.

I feel pretty and witty and gay....

2006-03-25T19:31:00.000-06:00

Weight lost: 10 lbs

Inches lost: 8"+

Missing fried chicken: Hell's yes

**out**

Drunk and stupid are no way to go through life, son.

2006-03-18T12:45:00.000-06:00

A few years ago, myself and several coworkers met up at Kilkenny's pub on St Patrick's day to drink, eat and have fun. We missed the last two years, so yesterday we were a schmidge disappointed to find out that our favorite little hold-in-the-wall Irish pub went global with their celebration this year. A live band, radio and television coverage, outside vendors and an on-tab beer truck made for a hard time to have fun. Table wait time was an hour and a half at best, so after an hour or so of hanging around, drinking Black & Tan's and shivering in the cold, we decided to head back to a friend's house and just drink there.

Here are the results of the lab process of turning a sober fat man into a drunken fat man.

Science is awesome!

"Mama, I'm coming home"

2006-03-11T15:44:00.000-06:00

...thus sprak Ozzie.

Coming out to work this afternoon, I heard a sound I had heard all my childhood. And it's not that I haven't heard it in a long time, but I couldn't remember the last time I've heard it. It was the hooting of a barn owl, somewhere near my apartment building, and instantly I was a little kid again back at my grandmother's house. Flashbacks of hot summers with the window's open, listening to owls and crickets, having her read me stories until I couldn't keep my eyes open. All of that filled my head on the way to work today. And I missed my familiy.

I really hope there is more to life than just random living. I need something else.

Bleh

More issues than Time/Life

2006-03-08T09:56:00.000-06:00

I wrote this big long thing and after reading it, it just didn't agree with me. It's gone. Forever. Much like building a sand castle you know that is just going to be taken out with the tide in the next hour. Like writing things on my banana skins, or small words on a cigarette. Eaten. Smoked. Gone. Discarded or burned away. Forever.

Bleh. I am in a creative slump. I've been thinking about taking up sketching again, and I suppose the best way to do that is to get off my butt and do it. I used to draw everyday and now it's just at work when doodling. And my doodling is horrible.

Time to bust out that charcoal and parchment...

2006-02-22T18:44:00.000-06:00

Back in August in wrote about an encounter with the woman that lives behind my apartment, living single, has a boyfriend that cheated on her, embarrassed myself needlessly.... you can read about it right here.

Last night I head to the bedroom, all ready for some sleep-action when I hear shouting from the apartment behind me. "Hmm" I think to myself, "I guess either the boyfriend is back or she's picked up a new loser." And yeah, I craned my head a bit in an attempt to hear what was being argued about. Sadly it was just all muffled shouting, but it did last at least thirty minutes. 30 minutes! That takes endurance to shout that long at somebody!! I'm guessing this wasn't something about who left the cap off the toothpaste.

The jerk inside of me smiled a tiny bit. "Turn me down, will ya? Haha!"

And then that jerk went to bed alone.

********************

I realize this blog has taken a bit of a dark tone lately and I'm not really sure why. I guess with the coming of spring I get grouchy. I need to finish Catcher In The Rye and just start my journey into manhood a few decades late.

April in the Sky with Diamonds

2006-02-16T22:34:00.000-06:00

Went and did a little shopping today, picked up some needed things for the kitchen and laundry area. Also, splurged on the cat a bit. Nothing much, mind you. Just a cardboard scratching box, it's supposed to be a cheap substitute for more expensive items. Like chairs and door trim. And my chest of drawers.

Anyway, the one I picked up said it was "Packed with SmartyKat Certified Organic Catnip". And I'm sure just about everyone that's owned a cat and has toyed with their feline with catnip has made the comparrison of 'nip to marijuana. Today, I finally saw the inconsistancies of this theory. First off, weed is supposed to make one mellow and mollified. Not so with catnip. I think the "organic" stuff that came with this scratching box was some killer mix of extasy and spanish fly. First, April Cat was just tripping out. I would try to pet on her a bit, but she would tear ass through the apartment, then come back, love on the box some, and then tear off again. Finally, she just came and jumped on my shoulders and started licking the back of my head. And she wasn't just doing it for fun, I mean this cat was going at it. She was on a mission to clear my noggin of any hair. I finally had to shrug her off as she was wearing one spot down and was hurting a bit. By the time I left for work she was listening to Erasure and some how was twirling two glowsticks. Very odd sight.

As I write this, I fortified the box with more catnip and she's biting the box like it's a male tom. Play-biting. Being very coy. To be honest, I feel a little bad, knowing that the 'nip is getting the cat all riled up with no outlet other than a cardboard box to scratch. Which is why she has the chairs and the door trim. And my chest of drawers.

*sigh*

Damn hippie cat...

I knew somebody had to love me....

2006-02-14T14:50:00.000-06:00

I am so lucky to have the love of a caring, nurturing person in my life...

Tomorrow is just another Tuesday.

2006-02-13T16:39:00.000-06:00

Just had to laugh at this...

Love is a futile thing. If you can find it, great. But chances are it's a facade.
Me bitter? Hahahahaha!
Maybe Patrick will post his feelings about V-Day. It gets truer and truer everytime I read it.

Saved by a Bonnie lass

2006-02-08T22:10:00.000-06:00

I've been in a bit of a downer mood past few days. Just not wanting to do anything but avoid life. I get this way about every Valentine's Day or so and this will last a few weeks and eventually pass. Tonight I got a jumpstart on getting past my blues, talked to Brooke and after a few minutes I was feeling better. I really miss my sisters, I wish we could hang out more often.

I guess after I win the Powerball tonight I should give her some of the winnings... :)

***Update***

I did not win the Powerball tonight. Sorry sis.

The Whore of both John Williams and the Son of Jor-El.

2006-02-02T10:26:00.000-06:00

First off, I had my wisdom teeth pulled this past Monday. It hurt. Not at the time, but during the past few days of recovery. If I haven't been doped up, I've been a crankybutt to everybody. To that, I apologize. :)

Moving on...

This morning I finally caught the trailer for the Superman Returns movie due out June 30th this year. I was trying to decide if the new score they used was done by John Williams or not. If you're not a movie nerd such as myself, the name of 'John Williams' might not sound familiar, but I can almost guarantee that you've heard his music. The "buh-bum, buh-bum" of Jaws, the trumpets of the start of Star Wars, the pulse-raising score of Indiana Jones, even the music for Harry Potter let you know this wasn't just some kid's movie... the guy has a mile-long list of great music he's done, all geared so specific to the genre on which it was based. I checked out IMDb and as it turns out the only thing they are using is Williams' original main title from the 1978 movie.

This saddens me a bit. It's the most important song, surely, so I should be happy somewhat. I know that while the guy is nearing retirement, I believe he's still got a lot of new stuff in that head of his. Used to be, you could tell it was a William's score just by the horns. When "Jurassic Park" was in the theater, it was obvious that he had scored it. However, when "Catch Me If You Can" came out, and the opening sequence starts with the marumbas and then the light, flirty jazz clarinets play, I was surprised to learn that it was his as well. Which just shows that he can do rousing blockbuster-style fanfare and still bring it back inside a dimly-lit bar with some soft and melodic flutes.

IMDb shows that he is scoring 4 movies alone in 2007, so he's not slowing down, but it makes me scratch my head about the new musical director pick for the new Superman movie. Part of the iconic bundle of Kal-El is that you have the blue tights, the big red "S", the hair curl on the forehead and when you hear the horns at the intro, you know it's the Man of Steel. The 'new' guy is John Ottman, and is far from being new to movie soundtracks. He's done quite a bit himself, and cranked out some good background and title tracks as well. 'The Usual Suspects' and 'X-Men 2' among them. I'm just...well, disappointed.

Maybe I'm getting older, settling into my ways. I want my Indiana Jones to be Harrison Ford forever. I want my Van Halen singer to be Diamond Dave. I want my Coke classic, I want my FedEx spokesman to be that guy that talks fast, I want my MTV and most of all I want my Superman music to be from John Williams, dammit!

Having said all that, I am stoked for the movie to come out. Supes was far and away my favorite hero growing up. Sure, Spider-Man was a dorky kid, so maybe I could have held out for a radioactive spider bite to turn me into a superhero. Batman had to watch both his parents killed, but I wasn't wanting to go that far to be a force against darkness. Supes was just himself. And Superman had it all, speed, strength, that awesome x-ray vision... But to me, his coolness came not from having all those things, but rather from having all those things and not being a dick about it. Clark Kent was never one to boast or brag about what he could do, always subdued and meek. The man was humble to a fault. He didn't use his powers until he had to, and then he used them very well. And he stood for the three things any patriotic person could get behind, "Truth, Justice and the American Way"

Indeed, Kal-El. Indeed.

Click here for proof that music can help you believe a man can fly...

Open Letter

2006-01-30T11:28:00.000-06:00

Dear Militant Muslims-

Stop being douchebags.

Love-
The rest of the world

White balls in the sand

2006-01-27T21:42:00.000-06:00

*I wrote this yesterday but couldn't post it. Here it is a day late*

Today I got my first taste of white elitism. I dipped my finger in the sport of Scotsmen, played best sober, but more often with a beer. Hitting small white balls over acres and acres of land. Yes my friends, I played golf.

Real golf too! Not that disc golf that all the hippies play. No sir! This was old rich white men golf. I even bought a glove. A single glove. Cost me $16.99 plus tax. I can't say it helped my game any, but it did protect my left hand from the elements. And Oh! The elements! I could go on like a Hemingway novel about how we braved the rain-permeated wind with high gusts and bending tree limbs. I could, but I'd be lying.

I met a few guys from work at an open course on Yale this morning, Think it was going to be a quick game and no wind, I was the only one wearing shorts and t-shirt. Everybody else is wearing jeans and either sweatshirts or long-sleeve polos. Thankfully there is no dress code on this course, but one could easily pick the hillbilly out of the bunch. I'm just lucky I wasn't playing with tree branches and stones tied to sticks, ala the Flintstones. Everybody else is pulling Pings and Cobras and Callaways from their bags, I'd be the guy with a pelican, holding it by the feet. Saved by my double awesome cart-chauffer, Derek loaned me one of his older collections, so I had a good working set. Was I any good?

Excuse me while I laugh. Hahahahaha!

The Golden Bear I am not. We followed the rule of not going above 8 strokes on any given hole. I think on all but 4 or 5 of them I 'snowman'ed it. I was truly horrible. My father would be ashamed. All the hours he had spent in the backyard, the putting greens, the driving ranges, the courses... one would think the latent talent he has would have rubbed off on me. Nay nay. I was shanking, hooking, slicing and the all comical "never hitting the ball" stroke. That's great. Out there with a group of my peers and it's like a Lucy sketch on the fairway.

"Keep your head down!", "Bend your knees, elbow straight!", "Don't pull up!", "Don't pivot here, pivot here!" I was getting frustrated by the end, and after losing my fifth ball on hole 17 I just gave up. I had fun, but I had given my all by that point. The worst thing is that I'm already sore. I'm dreading tomorrow morning. If I'm hurting now, what's tomorrow going to be like? But fun... that's the key. I had fun.

Also, Dave almost killed a guy. I could elaborate, but I won't.

Dead Hookers/Hard Choices/De Nero

2006-01-24T21:21:00.000-06:00

Ok, I want to go to Vegas and I don't want to go alone. I also don't want any people with estrogen going with me. If there is any estrogen-bearing folk, I want to meet them there, and hopefully, come back with something only my doctor can get rid of (that's a joke, sit down ladies).

Primarily I'm looking at Mike, Pat and Paul. Adam said he would meet me out there, and maybe around next October I can save enough dough to make it a reality.

Roche? You game? I need something to rival CHUD/ROTK 2003. I wonder what Mr. Brosius is doing these days? Scott do you have his number?

******************************

Also, my dear friend Sean lost a valued pet yesterday. She had serious tumors growing on her and it came down to a very hard choice for him to put his pup down. Nikita had tons of personality, and even though she wasn't the 'cuddliest' dog around, she made up for it in tenacity and attitude. A great dog, and Sean did everything he could to make her last hours comfortable, staying by her side while the medicine stopped her heart.

If you've got a pet, love them while you can. Even the ornery ones. :)

******************************

Ed, this one's for you.

Postcards

2006-01-22T08:56:00.000-06:00

Postsecret is still a cool site. They stopped archiving the old cards for your enjoyment, so you have to keep up on it weekly. If you haven't yet, check it out. Very good stuff.

In other news, a full week later I still suck at DDR. I did do a full 126-step combo on a 1 foot song, so that was pretty cool. But the fact that I'm dancing to arrows in my living rooms negates anything 'cool' about it. :-)

Answers

2006-01-19T18:37:00.000-06:00

In case anybody cared, and I doubt you do, but here are the answers to the 20 songs list.
1 - AC/DC - Thunderstruck
2 - Puffy AmiYumi - She's Joining a Fanclub
3 - My Chemical Romance - "I'm Not OK"
4 - Led Zepplen - Black Dog
5 - Black Crowes - She Talks To Angels
6 - Violent Femmes - Kiss Off
7 - The Stranglers - Golden Brown
8 - Aqua Teen Hunger Force intro
9 - Amiee Mann - Save Me
10 - OAR - Hey Girl
11 - Barenaked Ladies - Am I The Only One
12 - Five Iron Frenzy - Superheros
13 - AC/DC - Money Talks
14 - Cat Stevens - Wild World
15 - Van Halen - Jamie's Cryin'
16 - Cowboy Junkies - Sweet Jane (lyrics by Lou Reed)
17 - Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sittah
18 - Queen - Killer Queen
19 - Clash - Should I Stay or Should I Go
20 - INXS - Need You Tonight

So... yeah. That's about it.

My heart will asplode

2006-01-14T12:58:00.000-06:00

This morning I awoke with a mission. To go out and purchase a very silly thing. To purchase... Dance Dance Revolution Extreme 2. I have accomplished this mission and now I am reaping the benefits.

Sadly, the cat has not enjoyed this experience as much as I have.

And I don't know what kind of sadistic person calibrated the weight-loss system for this game, but I think it's grossly in error. I've hobbled my way through 5 songs, twice each and it's not giving me enough credit for calories burned. It says only 129.037 (no kidding) and I am about ready to pass out. I just did a Sneaker Pimps song (who knew they had another song besides 'Six Under Ground?) and I'm feeling it. I had to take a breather and blog about it.

So far, this is so much fun. I've 'jogged" the equivalent of .727 miles by stepping in time to tiny arrows. I'm not ready to do it in public, but get enough whiskey sours in me and who knows.

A fat man might just break out on the dance floor.

20 Songs - First lines

2006-01-11T20:37:00.000-06:00

Got this idea from Mr. DuVall, but it was fun, and since I like doing fun things it seemed natural to slap one of my own up here. I random through my playlists and post the first line of the lyrics. Your challenge is to see if you know them. No using Google! And some are 'gimmies' but you still have to know who sang it.

1 - "I was caught in the middle of the railroad tracks."
2 - "She turned her nightlight on and blew him a kiss"
3 - "Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say"
4 - "Hey hey mama, said the way you move..."
5 - "She never mentions the word 'addiction', in certain company"
6 - "I need someone, a person to talk to..."
7 - "Golden Brown, textured like sun"
8 - "My name is... Shake-zula, the mic-rulah, the old-skoola..." - Yes, this is on my playlist...
9 - "You look like a perfect fit."
10 - "I took this girl out night, and we left around twelve"
11 - "Am I the only one who gets to make you laugh? Laugh until you cry?"
12 - "Bacon bits and jalapenios on my polish hot dog"
13 - "Tailored suits, chauffeured cars, fine hotels and big cigars"
14 - "Now that I've lost everything to you, and you've broken my heart in two"
15 - "She saw the look in his eyes, n' she knew bettah"
16 - "Anyone's who's ever had a heart, wouldn't turn around and break it"
17 - "I had visions, I was in them, I was looking into the mirror"
18 - "She keeps her Moet et Chandon in A pretty cabinet" (I had to look that up)
19 - "Darling, you've got to let me know..."
20 - "All you've got is this moment, 21st Century yesterday"

Alright, my little sample for driving music on my laptop. Some fun stuff, some nonscense and some that have actual depth to them. Which ones do ya know?

I like the way this guy thinks

2006-01-11T10:56:00.000-06:00

If you've got three minutes to kill, read this page. It's quick and it's funny.

Things my boyfriend says.com

How can you go wrong with that?

Potty humor

2006-01-07T20:29:00.000-06:00

There's something that's been on my mind, more or less, for the past 5 1/2 years. It's nothing 'dirty', but it does deal in dirty things. Bathrooms. Specifically the ones here where I work.

Now, I'm not discussing the cleanliness of them. I imagine they are about average in the tech-company bathroom cleanliness scale of things. I'm more concerned with quantity.

There are four break stations out in the general area of our floor, and another one here in the ECC. That's five total. That's six fridges, five sinks, five coffee machines and five microwaves. If one wants to cool their drinks, get hot coffee or heat up their popcorn, they have a bevy of choices of where to do it at.

However, doing 'the deed' is another matter. We've only got two 'restroom areas' on this floor. In each potty station there is a gender-specific area and one even has a handicap station for either gender. That's five individual restrooms total, two for males, two for females and one for gimps. Five break areas, five bathrooms. Sounds like it should be even.

Oh contrarie...

Each bathroom area (there are only two remember) are more or less in the middle of the floor. If a person is stationed in the outer limits, it makes things difficult come crisis time. Ok, I'm not about to get into my habits of getting rid of waste material, but I will say that for some people (names omitted) when the call of nature comes, it doesn't come gently. The need to go is swift and if not immediately done so will be met with severe consequences. And as such, two areas for which to do this business is just not enough. I figure that a person has the need to get a full glass of water about as often as they would need to use the restroom. I guess that there is small difference there, but for the most part, I don't see how limiting restrooms is a smart thing to do to your employees. Cabrones!

I have no way to end this rant so let me segway with this: DDR

That's right. Dance Dance Revolution. I've finally tried it and damn if it's not the most fun way to loose weight. Well, strike that. I suppose that would probably be rolling around under the covers with your partner, but since nobody wants to imagine that about me, I'll just stick with the dancing thing.

Dancing! To music! Me! Hitting stupid little arrows with your feet as they fly up at high speed and you've gotta make like Savion Glover to get a decent score. By the way, I scored a "D", which if you didn't know, is about as good in DDR as it was in junior high. I suck, but man is it a workout. If you've never tried it, I suggest you find somebody with a pad (Em, I'm looking at you) and kick everybody out of the room while you make an ass of yourself. I still won't do it in public, but it is a killer workout.

FYI: Unless you're a 90-lb asian kid, don't even think of doing a heavy song with mods. You will die.

That's all I got. Later.

MMVI is here, bitches!

2006-01-01T00:19:00.000-06:00

Ok, I've had my New Year's kiss, I've had my New Year's ciggy, and I've already eaten a piece of pizza. So far, it's shaping up to be a normal year for me...

Happy New Years!!

********************

Update: It's 7:40 in the morning, I've been at work for 16 2/3 hours now. I'm tired, I've got a hangnail and I am so ready for bed. Up until now, the person in the coverage position hasn't had to do much. Last night I was on a call that lasted 3 hours for some BS that we weren't even involved with. Suck...

Need to go home, take a loooong nap and wake up and eat some black-eyed peas. And then watch Sin City. :)

Whitewash

2005-12-27T21:07:00.000-06:00

Christmas was good. I got to spend a holiday I normally hate with my family and be in a very good mood. I don't know if it's the drugs or just the way the holiday unfolded, but this was the first Christmas I've enjoyed every part of in a very long time. Last year was close, but still had some blues. This year was a milestone. Good times.

Tuesday I got back here to Owasso, and took off work since SOMEBODY didn't get any sleep the previous night (here's a hint, it's me!), I burned up a holiday day. Still got two left... anyway, I'm surfing the interweb on my laptop and all of a sudden about twenty different pop-ups just start showing up. I shut them down and run Spybot. I was in for a surprise. I some how picked up not one, not two, but EIGHT viruses and spyware on my laptop. I had aquired the "CoolWWWSearch" virus sometime back in mid-2004, and so this was a good opportunity to do a fresh install of my OS seeing as nothing I did to reverse it was working. Last night I finished the install, and tonight I'm going to find the drivers and install them. Hopefully by bedtime tonight I'll have a laptop that is in somewhat good shape. Thankfully I was able to save all the files I had on there as I had invested in a backup drive a few months ago. I had now paid for itself with this situation.

I hope you all had a great Christmas. Even though I was dateless, still managed to have fun and not worry about so much stuff. Got some good gifts, ate some good food, watched a good movie, and hung out with some good friends. Got to see my nieces, watched them open all of their presents, had a really good time.

That's about it. Right now I'm here at work, praying I don't fall asleep. Was up a little late last night getting the OS reinstalled on the laptop and April Kat thought I had to be up shortly after the sun got up this morning. Not running on a full battery today. *yawn*

T-Minus 3 days and counting...

2005-12-22T16:17:00.000-06:00

Got all my gifts wrapped with the help of Melissa last night. And this may be the first year that my sister doesn't make fun of my wrapping job. Considering that most of the gifts had an odd shpae, I did a pretty good job in attaching ribbons and bows. Add to the fact that I'm a clueless straight man and can't cordinate well, I say I did a good job. (Melissa said I did a good job too so all you haters can just suck it)

Haven't talked to Dad about the Kong viewing, so I don't know if we're still on, but I would still love to attend Christmas night. I know my sister Brooke is wanting to go, and Batman/Mayor of Quahag Adam West will be down Ada-Way, so hopefully it will still happen. Come on people!! A giant monkey movie done by Peter "Dead Alive" Jackson? Do I have to beg? Tell you what, if Cinema Six accepts Visa by the evening of the 25th, the Junior Mints are on me!

Sunday I helped Patrick set up his pool table. It's a multi-funtion one that comes with a second tier that can either be a card table, or flipped over to be a dinning room table. It's not the highest-end model available, but to be honest, for the money he paid for it, we had a hell of a lot of fun Monday night playing billiards. Kevin came over and we drank, smoked some cigars and ate every bit of chips and salsa Mr. Cusher had on hand. I don't know why really, but we were just chips-n-salsa hungry. Whiskey sours and Bacardi-O had a chance to kill our livers and trash talking was ON! At around midnight, Melissa had to drive me and Kevin home. heh... I know enough to know that drunk driving is not something a pretty young thing like myself wants to go to jail for. A petite waif such as I would be fresh meat to love-starved convicts. Gross... moving on...

This week and the next are 'freeze' days at work, meaning that any changes and implimentations have been put on hold for the holiday traveling rush. As bad as it is having to manually check in customers that are already cranky and pissed off the other 11 months of the year, doing it at Christmas with presents and children and more luggage than normal... would be enough to make any weary traveller want to flip out right there in the airport. And already having had my bad airport experience this year, I can say it's a bad thing. So, if I can help keep those airlines running that much smoother, so be it. Plus we got fed the other night. Don't know why. Just know that some people came in just to feed us. And I love them. Love-love!

Got to go to Papa G's this Monday night with Michael. The last thing I need is a pissed-off Italian woman mad at me. ;)

Later gators!

*************************

Side note - The Tetrabenezine is working very well. With the exception of the occassional tic, I am probably the best as far as the TS is concerned. I believe the current cocktail of teeny while pills, tiny blue pills, big red ones and oblong orange ones I'm doing pretty good. I just wanted to mention that, in case anybody wondered.

No f'n way...

2005-12-16T22:01:00.000-06:00

After 16+ years, my search has ended here!

Anybody want to go halfsies?

My father, a monkey, my drug, my dedication and a photo

2005-12-13T05:30:00.000-06:00

My dad grew up not very far from where he lives now. It was a tiny (and I do mean TINY) two bedroom house until his mid-teens, shared with four other siblings and his parents. He didn't have much growing up, and I think that's why he was so smart with his money. They have that saying, "Having your money work for you" and that's what dad did. Whenever he had money, he invested it in whatever he was doing. Helping my grandfather paint houses, buying and trading stuff, anything. Soon, he had enough to put me through college, help out with my sisters when they got in a jam or mom or friends, or just whoever needed help, my dad could be that person. I have much admiration for the guy. It's hard to meet my father and not like him.

And I know where I get my techno-lust from. I may have gotten my video game passion from my mother, but as far as high-tech toys go, it's all from my dad. If my pop were to be born these days, he would be a gadget-hound, no doubt about it. His newly acquired toy is a 51" DLP HDTV and it is SWEET! Jealous? Yes, yes I am.

Anyway, last night, dad's flipping through the paper and I'm sitting there, watching G4TV (cuz I'm a geek) and a episode preview for "Icons" comes on. It's coming up next and it's about Peter Jackson's King Kong and the history of the Hollywood legend. Dad lowers the paper about two inches, "Ohh...King Kong." I smile and nod, knowing that we're in agreement of what we're watching next.

Suffice to say, we caught it and we're both stoked now. Plans are set for a viewing. Come Christmas evening, if anybody in the greater Ada metroplex wants to catch a showing of King Kong, you're more than welcome to join us. We'll make an evening of it. Presents and stockings in the morning, and then a 25-foot gorilla in the night. Afterwards, we may pour eggnog straight down our gullets. Interested?

(Patrick, this does not exclude a viewing at AMC - If I'm going to do it, I may as well do it right, right?)

****************

And may I just say that Lexapro is the most wonderful drug available to mankind? Do you know what today is? A few of you might. Anyway, look back through the archives for hints... Anyway, I'm not down, I'm not depressed. Just very mellow. The first time in 18 years. It might be a good Christmas after all. :-)

R.I.P. Shirley Ann

****************

Ok, Mom had pictures of us kids from my junior year in high school on her desk, and once I saw it, I knew it had to make it's blog debut. I figure if I put myself out here for all of you share and read, I might as well go deeper. How deep? Deep. Shit's a well, son.

Apparently, as far back as 1991, I had a chin. And I weighed less than a thousand pounds. And I had bad acne but was boyishly cute. So this is my New Year's...Ney, My mid-December's resolution: I'm going to shed as much excess baggage from my fat ass as possible. Naturally, I'm going to bitch the whole time, so you'll all get to hear about it. Delaney got me a sweet tie for Christmas, cuz she's cool like that, and I want to wear it with something other than a tent awning. Something nice. Something sophisticated. Padre' West might suggest a french cuff arrow-collar. Whatever. Just wanna be smaller and with less chances of attracting small orbiting objects. ;) Damn comet's always crashing into me. Crash...into me...

*Cue Dave Matthews*

Cafe' Passion, I think I love you

2005-12-12T02:56:00.000-06:00

On my way home this morning, and I notice that the building just north of my apartment that is just now populating blocks, has the third business sign up. "Cafe Passion" with a sign of a coffee cup next to it. As for why the marriage of coffee and lust, I am perplexed, but I care not for the inuendo. I just know that less than 300 feet from my door step is a coffee shop.

Sweet

Missed parties and slightly tardy

2005-12-10T22:26:00.000-06:00

Tonight was the Whiten family Christmas party. I've made everyone in the past 17 years but this one. Just couldn't get off work today. This would have the first year my sister Amy hosted it, and I would have been fun to see her stress over having so many people (not to mention kids screaming) to contend with. This is not to say that my sister is incapable of handling stress. Oh contrare', she's very adept at it. However, her nieces will cry at the drop of a hat if their precious Aunt speaks anything negative their way. This past Halloween, I went with my other sister Brooke to take her kids trick-or-treatin' and we stopped over at OtherSister's house afterwards. Kids being kids, they were all playing in Amy's daughter's room and making noise, and Amy simply said "Please be quiet in there!". I was right there in front of her, nothing malicious in her voice, and you have thought she walked in there and belted them both in the mouth. They wailed like banshees at having been admonished by their favorite aunt (only aunt)... Anyway... I missed the party this year. I hate that. I don't see my family, especially the Whiten family that much. Well, any family that much. The last person I saw of my mom's side was my aunt Peggy, and that was back this summer. I'm a horrible family-keeper-upper. But then, I've been dealing with some unique crap this summer/fall, so I hope they understand.

Second thing, is I've been coming into work late this week. And last week. Almost every day, with a few exceptions, I've strolled in as late as 20 after. And everyday it was a unique thing that was holding me back. Clothes still drying, late getting into shower, took a nap before coming in... whatever the case was, it caused me to be late getting into work. Chad, one of my coworkers, loves nothing more than to bust on any sign of weekness. Out one day for sickness? Expect to be called. Go home early for good behavior? Can't wait to rag on ya. Go out for dinner? The man will tear you down when you come back. I can only he has some sort of Jewish mother in him somewhere, and she's just waiting to point out your faults and awful deeds. Plus, he's one of those guys that can eat a ton and loose weight, so yeah, I hate him for that as it is... ;-)

Will be visiting Greater Adaopolis this weekend, hope to visit Mamma G Monday night, maybe Padre' West will want to have a drink as well. Monday my sis turns a horrible 29. Mwahaha! Is it too early for black balloons?

Kids say the damnest things

2005-12-03T20:42:00.000-06:00

When Lovecraft and Family Circus meet 'twixt the darkened halls of Mor'goth, then Sunday paper readin' won't ever be the same again. Tee hee!

I've had fish three nights in a row and every time it was delicious. Tonight I even got hushpuppies! Tasty taste! I also had one of Sonic's Cranberry Limade's this morning. Quite possibly the world's greatest beverage, whiskey sour excluded. Nothing can top the king...

Happiness

2005-12-02T07:53:00.000-06:00

Opened a new can of coffee this morning, that rich aroma caressing my senses. Love that so much. And it dawned on me that truly, it is the little things that make life great. That's what I like, opening new things. Coffee, peanut butter, DVDs...whatever. That 'new' scent that comes out of something that's vacuum-packaged and ready for your enjoyment. Such is commercialism.

April Kat is staying by my side more than a 2-year-old. Just won't leave me alone. She's been like this since coming back from Brooke's house. Makes me wonder what psychological terror was performed on her to be so needy all of a sudden with me. Sister? Any ideas? ;)

My good friend Adam should be coming down from his kingdom up North later this month. The one time of year he makes his way out of Yankee territory and visits us hillbillies in Oklahoma. Would like to visit with him and his brother, whom I don't see nearly enough of as I would like.

Before you ask Christy, no, haven't started Season 5 yet. I know, I'm a terrible person. Just ask Paul about "Legends" and he's sure to roll his eyes and say it's that all over again. ;) I promise to have this done before 10 grade starts up though...

I dropped my toothbrush in the toilet yesterday afternoon, so last night after work I got to pick out a new one. Something about picking out new toothbrushes is just a Wonka-esque experience for me. There's so many kinds, with different firmness and bristles, some with tongue scrapers, polishing heads, rubber grips. Some, with all three... This goes back to the whole "new thing' thing, trying new things, opening new things, looking for new deodorant...fresh AND active, trying a new bath soap, and oh is this shower gel peach-scented? I must really try that. What's that? 80 cents off of Suave conditioner today? Can't pass up a bargain. Man, I'm such a chick.

Anyway, sitting here this morning, drinking my new coffee. My freshly-brewed-out-the-newly-opened-can coffee. Not bad. Little things. Little things. Little things can make or break a life. Just have to take time and have the imagination to find those little things so as not to go mad in this spirit-crushing life.

Fresh coffee.

*sip*

**********************

Quick links. When engineering nerds and Christmas come together, the results are simply amazing. The logistics of the timing alone are crazy, nevermind programming all of it. Please check those out. Chevy Chase's house from Christmas Vacation is nothing.

Ants are shaped like tiny red snowmen

2005-11-26T18:21:00.000-06:00

I miss Mitch Hedberg. Nothing funny here, just wanted to state that. He was funny and now he's gone. Hence, drugs suck.

Pat Morita died this week. Daniel-San is on his own from here on out. The Cobra-Kahn dojo is going to take over the streets now. Damn. I better call Hilary Swank.

Nick and Jessica are splitting up. Now who will my fantasy marriage feelings be projected onto now? Hence, depression sets in.

********************

Thanksgiving went ok this year. My niece Taylor had to spend it with her father, so we didn't get to have a full family, and also as my brother-in-law had to work his shift at the fire department. I guess saving lives from burning buildings is more important than green bean cassarole. Meh... :) But Mom was cooking and cleaning like a mad-woman, and for some reason wouldn't let me help with anything. I got to take the turkey out at 6 in the morning. That was my only contribution to this year's holiday.

Had lunch with friends, both old and new and even got to cook a bit with Smitty, which hasn't happened in a while. No Jen, no marble cheesecake was burned this time. We had steak, some mashed potatoes that were low-calorie but flavorful, spinach, a Riviera blend of veggies, plus some rolls. Mamma G didn't get to ply me with alcohol when I was down, so she told Padre West to relay that she was furious with me. When I go back down she just may get her chance. I'll have to drag Paul along if I can.

I have nieces and friends with kids, and as much as everybody thinks they have the coolest kid, Paul's little boy David is the funniest thing around. He'll hold his arms up and ask you "You want some of this?" which comes out as "Yu wa somdis?" And considering he's only a little over two, that's just nine kinds of adorable. He can ask you if you want a knuckle sandwich, and you can't help but laugh. Too cute!

********************

Mitch's favorite cigar is "It's a boy!"'s. He also likes Kit-Kats, except when he is with four or more people. All right...

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I picked up some track pants for cold-weather walking and I found a pair that fit my large frame at TJ Maxx. It was cool, because those things are super comfortable. I now know why Italian guys wear those things all the time. They are the ultimate fat guy suit. Warm, comfortable pants and jacket that match. It's like someone took a survey of what a fat guy would want in cool weather clothing, and then made it. I love you ,pseudo-cashmire!

I have to shill for a second. I've been reading this girl's site for a while, and it gets better all the time, unlike my own. Haiku-Girl will make you fall in love with her writing, whether you want to or not. But you'll want to, so it's Ok.

Did anybody watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade Thursday? After the second commercial break, they featured a live perfomance of Puffy AmiYumi, a J-Pop girl duo made famous here in the states with their wacky animated adventures on Cartoon Network (Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi). On a float with their cartoon counterparts, they did their song "Friends Forever" which is melodically identical to another of their hits, "So Long Zero". I had to admit, I was tapping my toes. If dad wasn't in the room, I might have even sang along. Yes, I listen to J-Pop. Deal.

********************

Mitch sometimes get's handed flyers when walking around. That's weird, as Mitch believes that it's like someone telling him, "Here, YOU throw this away." He also likes carrots. He had an ant farm once but the ants didn't grow anything, and that bummed him out.

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By the way, I had ribs and peach cobbler that same night of my last post and it was delicious. I balanced it out this past Thursday by eating my weight in cornbread dressing. And it was delicious as well. Maybe that should be my new diet. Just eating things in large quantity that are delicious. Oh yeah, I've already tried that. Didn't work. Damn

That's all I got. Listening to some Mitch, dreaming of dreamy things, sleepy-eyed from lack of sleep, too much sleep, not enough sleep, woke up early, stayed up late, woke up early... hating this cycle. I'm off tomorrow and besides doing a little grocery shopping, I'm not planning on doing a whole lot. If you call and I don't answer, consider me sleeping.

...end trans...

Healthy Schmealthy

2005-11-18T17:36:00.000-06:00

Trying to eat right is so hard, especially when you've been craving ribs and peach cobbler for a whole week...

Letters to Cleo sings my song.

2005-11-16T20:22:00.000-06:00

Here and Now

The comfort of a knowledge of a rise above the sky above
could never parallel the challenge of an acquisition in the
Here and now
Here and now...

************************

I may not have toast and tea, but I do have V-8 and mini-carrots. Got to be close enough. Plus it's more vitaminey...vitaminesque...vita-packed... whatever.

************************

Paula Cole once wondered where all the cowboys had gone to. I'm wanting to know where the muses have danced away to and why. Closed eyes. Holding my breath. Waiting. Wishing. Hoping. Will they come back? Will they inspire?

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

2005-11-13T11:28:00.000-06:00

Well, a quick week: Gas is down to $1.98 out here in Tulsa, my ex-wife is engaged to be rewed in February, I still can't play the guitar, met another someone off the internet, Beavis and Butthead Collection 1 came out on DVD, and my sister didn't get the job she was wanting.

So far, Lexapro is just making me tired.

Bleh...

Lore Brand Humor

2005-11-11T18:03:00.000-06:00

My company "Taking An Exam In Your Underwear,Inc" is going public tomorrow.

It's hard to believe that only ten years ago this company was just a dream.

...

My 210th post is about Cancerous people

2005-11-09T19:45:00.000-06:00

Cancer - June 23rd to July 22nd
Your positive traits:
You're intuitive enough to know what's going wrong in a relationship early on. A total sweetheart - you're often the most caring person anyone knows. You are a generous and devoted parter to whoever you fall in love with.
Your negative traits:
Insecurity - you tend to need a huge amount of comforting from your partner. You tend to be overly sensitive and easily hurt, which make loving you difficult. It's difficult to predict your moods. One minute you're up - the next you're down.
Your ideal partner:
Someone equally sensitive, who wants to take time to get to know you deeply. Dreams of an everlasting love - complete with marriage and a family. Loves to take care of you. Being a good cook and masseuse doesn't hurt!
Your dating style:
Slow. You enjoy dates that last all day, with plenty of time to talk and get to know one another.
Your seduction style:
Quite tender and loving, once you are comfortable in your relationship. Coy. You tend to play it cool to drive your lover wild. Orally talented - you're known as the best kisser in the zodiac.
Tips for the future:
Be a little less sensitive. Not every little mistake should hurt you. Spend time away from your partner every so often - independence is a good thing. Find ways to take care of yourself. You'll be happier if you put yourself first.

********************

Dang. For a person that doesn't believe in Zodiac traits, this pretty much nails my personality down. I need to ask about Adam about the Birthday Book and see if it's correct too.

Could it be that I'm crazy?

2005-11-09T06:38:00.000-06:00

A question was posed to me yesterday "What is wrong with you?"

Indeed, what IS wrong with me?

Talked to my doctor Monday, and it seems the TBZ is causing huge dips in the serotonin levels in my brain, (really wished they discussed these things with me when I started taking it), which is why I've been having these panic attacks and so much anxiety, not to mention the depression. So he suggested that I start on a regiment of Lexapro. W00t!

I knew I was nuts, now I've got a certified doctor telling me so. Now, if you'll excuse me, some nice young men in their clean white coats want to take me away, HAha!

Fun-sized Snickers go to whomever knows what that is from.

Learned something clever

2005-11-05T22:57:00.000-06:00

In The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus , Christopher Marlowe gives this description of Helen of Troy:
Is this the face that launched a thousand ships
And burned the topless towers of Ilium?

By this point, every schoolboy and grrl knows the romantic story between the star-crossed lovers that's launched it own impressive number of plays, movies, books and other representations. Helen's beauty caused hunky meat-puppet Paris to start a war, simply due to the fact that she was hawt and he had a jones for her. But let's break it down metrically, if for no other reason than I'm a geek and I'm bored on a Saturday night.

If one Helen can launch a unit that we will call a kiloship, equivalent to a thousand ships represented to a single large unit, then logically, that would establish the "millihelen", an equivalent solo unit of beauty needed to launch a single ship. Metric conversion is fun!

***********************

The Japanese, ever on the forefront of cool and trendy entertainment, have started a craze some years back that is just now catching up to North America. Dubbed Sudoku, it's a simple numbers-based puzzle that has you using basic mathematics to solve it. It's also maddening in it's addictive properties. I'm almost to a point where I can do everyone without errors, but still take too long to finish one. I can go through one in about 11-13 minutes, but the average for the basic puzzle is around 7 minutes. I'm almost doubled that!

Ah'm a bit slow Jen-nay. Ah'm jahst a simple mahn. It also seems I need to go back to grade school.

I'm also curious as to how fast Patrick can crank through one of these. Him being a degreed math-nerd and all, it shouldn't be a problem.

***********************

Blogger's spell-check program recognizes neither the word "blog" or it's plural "blogs" and that to me is funny. "Faustus" it had no problem with, but "topless" it did. Apparently the fix hasn't been targeted to it's primary demographic. ;) I'm willing to bet the word "topless" gets used infinitely more times than "Faustus".

***********************

On the left in the blogs listed section, you'll notice that there is two new ones to note. The top one is TS101, one that will hold nothing interesting for you unless you're interested in the life of a Tourette's patient. She makes fun observations that I thought were unique to me, and I got a kick out of it. It seems she has stopped posting back in July, but maybe she will pick it back up. The second one is my oldest (yet younger) sister's blog. She's only given up one post, but hopefully she will continue with it.

***********************

Catching Unwrapped after work tonight, and I'm learning things. Candy things. Such as the liquid flavoring in Super Hot Tamales is so caustic that if just a drop were to mistakenly fall on bare skin, the result would be bubbling pain, followed by permanent scaring. And any candy that uses such a powerful additive in it's ingredient list has got to be good. Yum!

Speaking of candy, does anybody remember Zots? They were nine kinds of awesome! I miss those little tablets of fizzy deliciousness. Maybe Mexico or Canada can fill my jones for the 80's favorite.

Headbangin' to "Thus Sprack Zarathrustra"

2005-11-04T16:50:00.000-06:00

Gaptoothed model-turned-gaptoothed actress Laura Hutton is posing nude for the American magazine 'Big'. Apparently the domestic rag is scrapping the barrel of front page talent. To me, she was the Paris Hilton of the 1970's. She was famous simply because she was famous. While being one of the first 'supermodels" and having numerous endorsement deals, she has large mass appeal. Why this is, I can't figure out. Mainly because she's got a butter face and after seeing her act, I can't see how she keeps getting work. A Laura Hutton fan, I am not.

Moving on.

I might have a big announcement coming soon. Well, kind of big. Is it bigger than a breadbox? Yes. And no it is not a toaster. Next question.

I'm going to get "Blue Valkyrie Needs Food Badly" tattood on my back. Nerdcore! And then below that, just for fun, I'm going to put the code for infinate lives on Konami games. Maybe in white ink so it will glow in UV light. Why? Why the heck not is what I say!

Nic Cage has named his new-born son Kal-El, the name given to Superman by his parents. Cage may be bat-shit crazy, but he's my kind of bat-shit crazy. Second prize goes to Penn Jillette who named his daughter Moxie Crimefighter.

I'm bored on a call here at work, that's where all this weirdness is coming from. If it will help illistrate how bored I am, I'm remembering the lyrics to "The Get-Along Gang" while listening to AT&T gripe about me "accusing them" of being the cause of my inability to telnet to a given router. I had my last laugh as the guy fessed up to adding an access-list to the interface I was trying to get through that caused my block. Haha!

Something old, something new...

2005-11-03T08:58:00.000-06:00

This first link is about a year or two old I believe. So if you're into old-skool gaming, you might have already seen it. Nintendo Choir is a fun little selection of music some college-aged group of kids did. And then not to stop there, the video game performance pieces seem to be spreading with Mario Unleashed and Mario Piano( bit lengthy). And then who can forget the awesome sauce Mario Guitar? Along with the copycats Mario Guitar 2 and Mario Guitar 3, one can tell that this is a popular thing. I should point out that all the guitar performances are filled with flubs, but they give it their all and all three are a heck of a lot better than I can do. The last guy is wearing an Allister hoodie, so I'm assuming he's either a fan or in the group itself. And seeing as they do a crappy cover of Fraggle Rock, he would fit in. I could link the video for you, but I took all of ten seconds on Google and didn't find it so you're on your own.

*****************

April the Cat took a month long vacation at Brigette the Nurse's house. Got her back last night (the cat, not the ex). Went by the 'rents house, packed up my gear and came home. Dad is feeling better, a little sore, but in good spirits so that makes me relieved. I had a really good meal/drink/spill food down front of my shirt time with my sisters Tuesday night and Michael West stopped by while we were there. I was, as Linda Richmond would say, a little overklimpt. I will have to visit all the people I haven't had a chance to see in Ada the past two/three months when I go down next.

Also, I think Padre West was mackin' on my sister a little bit. I couldn't tell, as he's that way with EVERY woman. I'd be afraid to leave him in the same room alone with my mother for more than ten minutes for in five months I'll have a new stepdad who is younger than me... ;)

*****************

One last thing. Been off the Metidate for about a week and a half and I can tell a marked improvement on my tics. I talked at length with Paul yesterday about all the shit I've been dealing with the past few weeks and I think he nailed it down. He put into perspective the things I've been having problems with as he's going through them himself in a way, so it was nice to have a like mind on the issue. Anyway, I'm hoping that by Thankgiving I can get the dosage down to where I can see as few tics as possible. For some reason, I've just had an extremely hard time dealing with it the past month. Usually I just grit my teeth and try to deal with it as best as I can but since a little episode last Monday at lunch changed my view on the subject, I've been really hating it. But I rant when I should be doing other things. Only got a three day work week until Saturday night and then I'll be off for another weekend. Time to do laundry, a little cleaning, and seeing as I'm a fat guy so close to lunch, it's time I get to cookin'...

Later gators

Into the woods, out of the woods and home before dark

2005-11-02T10:46:00.000-06:00

For those concerned, my father made it through surgury just fine. And to those friends and family that called to ask how he was, thank you. I have some of the finest resources available to me for love and support. I have often times only thought of what I didn't have, and that my life was missing so much. In truth, I had so much already in front of me and did not fully appreciate it until just the past few months. I don't want to get all Dr. Phil on you people, but I wanted to say it. You really are a great bunch and I love you all. Except you... YOU know who you are... ;)

In other news, my manager at work will be gone in about a week and a half. GONE gone. As it happens, he is following another EDS turncoat to a new job and will be no longer serving us. And seeing as this manager was the one primarily responsible for not giving me any raises or bonuses in the five years I've been there, I can't see this as a bad thing. And it's not that he was terrible at his job, but I will point out that he pretty much didn't know I existed except when it came to punish me at review time.

Now, with the holiday season approaching, and if somebody wants to REALLY get me something good... a date with Amber Benson would do just nicely. As would the ability to shoot spaghetti out of my fingertips. That would be pretty cool too. So, uh, yeah... if one of you could make those things happen, you'd be aces in my book.

ACES!

When I roll, I roll twentys

2005-10-28T23:36:00.000-05:00

I took the Geek Test, scored a 60.94675% Geek (That being an Extreme Geek). And the weird thing is, I can think of several things that further my 'unique status' of social nerdome.

For instance, the song "Rock Steady" by the Whispers, whenever it comes on the radio, and I'm singing along to it, (And baby we can rock...steady! Steady rock it all night long...), I'm thinking NOT of getting freaky, but instead of the mutated rhinocerous villian from TMNT. Yes, I am that much of a geek. I will go further with this analysis.

Widescreen is a rule, not an option.

Japanese anime is watched in it's original language, never in English. As is any foreign movie. Seeing Amelie, Battle Royale or God of Cookery in English? Hell naw!

I never cried when Optimus bit it in Transformers: The Movie. However, and this is pure speculation, my bottom lip may have quivered for a few minutes. Shut up, you weren't there.

Is the new Replacements album any good? I wouldn't know. Car Talk and Coast to Coast? I've got 'em Podcast.

Favorite park of the Disneyreich was EPCOT. It made learning fun, and the fact that you can drink alcohol there is secondary... ;)

Igor Bars, while not an everyday treat, are fine eating. Insulin may be required.

This speech is my recital. I think it's very vital. To rock (a rhyme), that's right (on time) It's tricky! Tricky! Trick- here we go!

Knowledge that one CAN make money doing online comics and blogs and make a very nice living at it.

I've received gaming dice one year for Christmas...and it was the best present that year. Thank you Brother's West!

Cartoon crush when I was a kid? Velma. 100%. Nerd chicks are awesome. Linda Cardalini and Alyson Hannigan only cement that fact.

I've never been 'gagged with a spoon', 'been served' or 'had a cow'. I do however know the lyrics to 'Reading Rainbow". So, uh, I guess that makes me 'rarely laid'.

I was so nerdy I didn't own a single Hypercolor t-shirt or any B.U.M equipment. Sears' husky Tuffskins and Hanes plain tees I had plenty of. Yeah, I was stylin'.

I'm a Cubs fan. This doesn't make me a geek or anything, but it just shows I have a softspot in my heart for losers. Oh Snap!

In 7th and 8th grade, I would frequently skip lunch to spend time in the school library and play on the computers. Apple IIC Plus, kid. I was cool. And looking back, Oregon Trail sucked. Oh yeah, I went there.

Hmm... you know what, this list might explain a lot of stuff. It turns out I didn't need Tourette's to alienate me from society, it seems I was doing a good job on my own. But hey, screw it. Who needs to be prom king when you can fomulate binary to hex in your head and back again? g33k-4-l1f3, yO!

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Note to Adam: The woman that plays Christmas Eve in Avenue Q is on the VH1 series "I Love The 80's: 3-D". As are Cassidy and Kristen from Antigone Rising. Sweet. Incidentily, Cassidy and Kristen are the cutest girls from the group, so I guess that explains why the rest of the band wasn't on there. Conclusion: VH1 is run by pigs.

********************

She sings music while looking pretty. Pretty much a one-trick pony, but Leela James is HAWT. That's right. I went there.

If you can bow your head...

2005-10-25T21:27:00.000-05:00

My father is going under the knife next Tuesday. I hear it's a standard procedure. I know that his doctor is very competent and that the staff are knowledgeable. But that does nothing to ease my fears. I'm still scared. I'm still afraid. I'm right back in 1987 and not wanting to show any emotion when I'm terrified inside.

So, if you are so inclined to believe in a higher power, pray for my father.

Many thanks.

Best synopsis ever

2005-10-22T10:51:00.000-05:00

From the cover of a B-movie I just found:

A pretty young jogger is brutally abducted...but why and by whom? So sets the tone for "Harvesters," a blood-curdling clash of two evil forces, both bent on destruction. This high-energy, action-packed thriller pits an outlaw gang, led by lesbian Gulf War vet Frankie Falzone, against the Peelmans - a seemingly "normal" family who harbor a dark and deadly secret. As two U.S. marshals close in on the gang, the terror mounts and the body count rises. The ensuing battle for survival - set amidst scenes of heart-thumping horror and mayhem - will have you on the edge of your seat!

Who says writing movies is hard work? A Gulf War vet/outlaw gang leader/lesbian as only half of the bad guys? Come on, that is nine kinds of awesome. If at all interested, one can check out the cast and a few photos. Slutty women and clueless men. To be sure, a great combo.

Of prunes and glue

2005-10-21T22:11:00.000-05:00

Let me take you back. Waaaay back. Does anybody remember "The Electric Company"? Rita Morano, Morgan Freeman as Easy Reader, the first live-action Spider-Man series I can ever remember, "Heeeey, you guys!!"... great stuff.

I'm sitting here at work, thinking about a specific sketch. It was an old woman, sitting on a park bench, feeding some pigeons. Along comes a man who sits next to her. He notices that this woman has a prune on her nose, and makes several attempts to ask her about it, but only in round-about ways. Finally he just breaks down and asks point blank... "Ma'am, why do you have a prune on your nose?"

She smiles and replies, "To keep my glasses on. Now let me ask you, why DON'T you have a prune on the end of your nose?"

The young man looks flusterd, "I don't have glasses..."

"Ah!" The old woman exclaims, "That because you don't have a prune on the end of your nose!"

Kids laugh.
********************
Right now, I've got a wicked pimple/SARS/MARSA/Small Pox blister on the side of my nose and it's causing my glasses to slip. As it is, my aggro levels are rising as the slipping of my glasses just causes the sore to get worse.

I need a prune on the end of nose.

I would wax poetic about "The Great Space Coaster" but that would blow some of your minds. That's right. It's DEEP material.

"I've got seven problems, and you're five of them!"

2005-10-21T00:37:00.000-05:00

Watching "The Colbert Report", and I have to say, I haven't laughed outloud at a television show in quite some time. This is pretty good stuff. If you get Comedy Central, give it a watch.

On my drive home tonight, what comes on the radio but Zepplin's "Black Dog", Def Leopard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me" and then Nickelback's "Figured You Out". It was a safe bet to say that my window was down, a cig was had, and this bearded weirdo was barreling down the highway singing his lungs out.

In a few weeks will be Free Candy From Strangers Day and I'm wondering what this year will hold. The past two years I've gone over to watch 'The Crow" and haven't had to hand out sugar to teenagers that don't even dress up. Just once, I want to catch Rocky Horror with a bunch of freaks that dress up. Just once. It's the only season one can do the Time Warp. You know it starts with just a jump to the left... ;)

During a trip to Starbucks with Padre West during A-Kon, I picked up the Antigone Rising CD. And I have to say, for corporate whores, they sing some fine stuff. It's nothing I would pick up normally, but it's a good listen. But what to classify it as.... folk pop? Estrogin rawk? Whatever... it's good. Try it Mikey, you'll like it.

From Mordor, back to the Shire...

2005-10-18T00:25:00.000-05:00

After two hours sleep, a brief shower and a trip through security, I made it to Minniapplesauce around 8:30 this morning, a quick bite to eat and then it off to Tulsa. With servings of VeryFine's Apple-Cran juice down my gullet and tiny pretzels to boot, I slept most of both flights so it wasn't so bad.

If I had more time up in the Great White North, I would have brought back more with me. They had so many kinds of cool food. Their variety of potato chips alone was worth the trip. They even had 'fries & gravy' flavor Lays. Poutine! How cool is that? And speaking of poutine, I finally tried it at a fast-food restaurant on our way out. I have to say...not my favorite dish. Brown gravy and cheese curds on top of french fried potatoes. Cholesterol never tasted so mediocre. If I want to clog my arteries, I want it to be with food I enjoy eating. Like chili-cheese fries. :)

"Your tale, sir, could cure deafness."

2005-10-16T08:42:00.000-05:00

Later today we are scheduled to see "The Tempest", Shakespeare's infamous story of a deposed duke, cast out for fifteen years on a lonely island, only to conjure up a terrible storm with his mighty magician's power to right those who wronged him. Sounds like it should be fun.

Right now, my roommate is sleeping like a corpse, and by that I mean he is resting as one would in a coffin. On his back, arms folded neatly on his chest. If he was a vampire, this would pretty much be his position if I found him in his tomb. I wish I had brought my camera cord, I could show you pictures. Reat easy though, when once I return to T-Town, I shall unveil DeadAdam.

Everybody always likes to bring back tales of 'little things' that people do in different parts of the world. Normal everyday stuff is pretty much the same, but as they say, the devil is in the details. I will explain. Canadian money is cooler than U.S. money. Wereas we just have pictures of dead presidents, theirs has quotes about growing up on the skating rink, and then actually having a hockey scene right on the money. Their coins are cooler as well. A $2 dollar coin? Awesome. A $2 dollar coin that looks like two coins in one? Awesome sauce.

I will say that, hmm, how should I put this? "Going number 2"? When doing the deed, restrooms up here (which are called washrooms) do not have toilet tissue in a roll, but instead in pre-measured tissues that pop out like an upside-down Kleenex box. That takes a little getting used to. All the New York kids mentioned while at the restaurant last night that "they say pop here!", as opposed to soda. Being from Oklahoma, I've heard both, so it was really no big deal. I wanted to bring up the fact that to us, it was all just "coke" anyway.

I will say this. Canadian's have no concept of the "whiskey sour". Without a doubt my favorite drink, and will usually order it when out with friends, but up here they just have no idea of what going into a whiskey sour. I would think it wasn't that hard. Whiskey. Sour mix. Ice. Serve in a rocks glass. Instead they give you Whiskey. Sweet mix. Ice. Served in a Tom Collins glass. And that's just wrong.

Naturally I realize that I am in fact just getting a small taste of Canada. I would hardly call visiting one town for two days certifying me as an expert of any kind. The people are nice, the town has that 'old' feel to it and it's a very enjoyable experience. We will head across the U.S. border around 9:30 - 10:00 tonight, and I was told that it would help if I had my birth certificate with me. Of course, I had no time to get that as my title of birth is in Ada, so in the event I get stalled up here, I might miss a few days of work. Hear that Ed? If I don't make it back by Thursday, call the president.

I'm soory, eh?

2005-10-16T01:45:00.000-05:00

Just got in from tearing up Stratford, Ontario's finest pubs, getting lost (yes, again), flirted with people that will never be interested in me and got to see my first Tennesse Williams play, "Cat On A Hot Tin Roof". We were supposed to attend "As You Like It", but tickets were sold out, so we just chilled and relaxed, Canadian-style for a few hours before the festivities this evening.

It seems, dear readers, that along with my ability to get lost, I can also miss checking in for my flight. I was in line in time, but there was a complete moron working part of the desk, mucking up everything he touched, so myself and a couple going to Boston had to take standby flights to our destinations. So instead of just a layover in Detroit as planned, I took a little trip to Memphis, then Detroit and finally on to Rochester. I was planned to arrive up in New York around 11:40 in the morning, as opposed to 2:45 in the afternoon like I did. On top of the new medication that I've still have yet to acclimate to, the stress of flying, added with the stress of being flagged at Tulsa as a possible threat and having everybit of my pockets and laptop bag going through. I even had to put my shoes in the X-Ray machine, plus getting scanned with the Probe-O-Matic....Gah!! So, yeah... I was a little twitchy. I would have sold my own mother out yesterday to have just thirty minutes rest from the stupic tics.

Hate hate hate my Tourette's. Hate. It. Very. Much.

Moving on...

Flying problems and being a security risk in the eyes of the airport aside, I had my three square servings of Cran-Apple, a tiny bag of pretzels which I never opened and on my flight from DTW to ROC I sat next to a little girl with Down's Syndrom who was just as lovable as can be. Her mom was flying with her, they were going to visit "gramma's house", and so I was privy to the in-flight entertainment of Odd Todd and Even Steven stories. And folks, there are a million worse ways to spend a flight. It was my favorite flight so far, I have to say.

Adam picks me up, we make small talk and I get to check out the campus he works at. All the beautful college kids love him, and I get to meet a bevy of cool people whom are oddly accepting of my weird twitchy thing. So, hey kids from SUNY Genesao... you rock!

Today we drove to Stratford, Ontario, stopped at two Tim Horton's on the way, got hassled by "the man" at the border and got to see the most digusting pack of cigarettes I've ever seen. All the ciggy packs come with pictures of mouth cancer and diseased lungs. Yum. All in all, not a bad day. In fact, if it wasn't for the TS, it would be one of the best days this year, but with the tics... ah hell, you know what? I'm tired of talking about it. I'm just sick of this thing. All day long I had been dreading sitting through a three-hour play with this going on. I want to rant, but it's no use. In the morning I'm just just going to be the same twitchy guy.

Soory. Just a little touchy tonight.

So anyway... Canada's pretty cool. Bib, you would absolutley love it up here, with all the fall colors. I think I finally see what you saw about this area back in PA. And Jen would love it for all the Cadbury chocolate products up here. I had no idea they made much more than just the chocolate eggs you only find at Easter. And Pat, if you ever come here, you have got to eat at Molly Bloom's. Best Irish food I've had since Oklahoma, and as weird as that sounds, it's not as weird as an Irish pub serving chinese food.

So many thanks go to Adam for leaving Ada and staying away. As long as you live up this way, I'll come visit.

Now take off, you hosers!

The Milestone

2005-10-13T13:39:00.000-05:00

Five of them be exact!

Today I got up, dressed comfortably and did five miles at a low brisk pace. According to my walking calculator that took care of about 988 calories. If I could do that twice a week, along with the average 2.5 the rest of the days, I think I should see results sometime by next summer. I know I've put the weight on over about 20 years, so it's going to take a while to take if off, but dang if I'm just not impatient!

Talked to my brother from another mother this morning about my impending visit to New York. I had planned to call him tonight, but he beat me to it. I should have asked him if I am going to need a coat. I don't want to pull another D.C. and leave my coat behind and walk about Toronto freezing my cabezas off. Got spending money, about to get some travel-sized shampoo and soap and will start packing after the laundry has finished. Should be set.

I've been eating all my perishables this week since I will be gone for four days, and today is my last day. I have 3 small apples, 2 tomatoes, a bunch of celery and a half bunch of grapes. Looks like I'm getting my fresh fruit serving for this Thursday.

Note to Michael: Are you still planning on doing the weekend hikes next summer again? I never got to attend one, and I am hoping with what little weight I lose between now and then and with all the walking I am doing I can be in somewhat better shape to handle the walks. I will use vacation time to make it down for a few three-day weekends. And we need to do the salmon!! Get with Smitty and Dave and plan for November!!

Note to Scott: Bald is beautiful, but my skull brother with a clean chin was a bit of a shock. :D I hope everything goes better for the rest of the year. I want you to make A-Kon if you can find the time next year. It's quite the event.

Baby steps

2005-10-12T18:37:00.000-05:00

Today I got up to 3.1 miles with no problem. I plan to go for a rough 5 tomorrow. If it works out ok, I am going to try and do that at least twice a week. With the brisk pace I am walking, that should help out with the poundage. I'll let you know how it goes.

I should also point out that since I found that ten spot on Sunday, everyday that I walk I have to keep from walking with bad posture, as I am keen to drop my head and check out the sidewalks and pathways for loose money. Tuesday my back was killing me from my hunchback impression. Baka!!

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And if you don't know, don't worry, you just had to be there.

The old gray mare just ain't what she used to be...

2005-10-11T11:16:00.000-05:00

Sunday was good. During my walk I found a $10 bill. So, not only did I get a little bit healthier, I made money.

Monday I was rushed all day, my battery died on me and I was told by the woman cutting my hair that if I wanted to 'touch it up' it would cost me the $39.99 instead of the $5 treatment because, as she put it about my gray hair, I "had so much of it". But I had dinner with Kevin and Melissa, went to a kooky Halloween store, and killed an evening with them instead of at Casa de Craphole. Fun!

Finally getting around to backing up my laptop today. I don't think I would be devastated in the event of my laptop crashing, but there would be open weeping and cursing. I'm not sure, but laying in a fetal position on the floor of the kitchen may also ensue.

I had bought Tom Savini's 'Grande Illusions I & II" a few weeks ago and with Halloween approaching, I think I'm going to get my hands a little dirty. I LOVE the feel of alginate! I would have made a great dentist, hairy knuckles and all.

Narnia coming to big screen in December. That just can't come soon enough.

I want a bowler hat. Are they out of style? In? I never know. Somebody help a brother out.

The Freak inside

2005-10-07T20:12:00.000-05:00

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind.
You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

I got soul but I'm not a soulder

2005-10-07T17:10:00.000-05:00

Had breakfast with a few guys from my shift this morning. Got done, gave a pint of blood at the OBI on 81st. I wanted to give RBCP but the woman that does them wasn't in the office today. That's just weird to me, in the Ada office, any person can operate the RBCP and platelet machines, here in Tulsa it's just one person. How screwy is that?

Anyway, I'm 5/8 of the way toward my 3rd gallon. Yay!

In other news, Ed and Emily's baby loves me. And had she the use of both of her arms today, she would have reached out to me. I am just sure of it.

I miss my nieces. I miss Bren and Mar-Bear. I miss David. I miss Sid. I miss Theran. I miss Jaymeson. Feeling home sick for some reason tonight.

Friend Melissa's grandmother passed away yesterday. Happy thoughts and hugs go out to her.

Two doctors, a fat guy and a cute kid are in a doctor's office...

2005-10-05T13:33:00.000-05:00

Monday we find our way over to Baylor College of Medicine, sign in and do the waiting game. That game didn't seem so long as there was this super adorable baby walking around the waiting room giving everybody the big eyes. Paul mentioned that he was starting to miss his son David the night before, so I an imagine that by this point he was ready to go home and be with his baby boy.

They call my name, take my BP and weight (verified weight lost! Yay!) and I see a interm doctor that asks me about everything I remember about the past history I have with TS. I felt really comfortable with this guy, as he didn't make it seem weird or strange, so I was telling him everything I could think of. I won't go into detail, but it was refreshing to deal with someone knowledgable of my problem as opposed to the past three neurologists I've seen here in Oklahoma.

After that I saw the big cheese, Dr Joseph Janivic. He comes in with the previous doctor in tow plus some woman that never gets introduced. Dr. Kenny (the afore-mentioned doc) starts recapping my history to Janivic and the anonymous woman who is taking notes. I start feeling extremely self-conscience as I don't know if this woman is a doctor or a nurse or just Janivic's note-taker. I find out later she is a visiting Turkish doctor doing a study with the Baylor Neurological Department, and had I known that at the time I wouldn't have minded, but when Dr. Kenny starting going down the laundry list of my quirks and oddities it was a uncomfortable.

Anyway, it turns out that the medication I've been taking for the last twenty years is what doctors that don't know what they are doing prescribe. At least that is what I was lead to believe. The new stuff I got is not FDA-approved, has to be shipped from Cambridge, England, I have to sign a waiver for it and cost $170 a bottle. Daaaaamn! I'm hoping the FDA approves this soon so I can start getting it covered under my insurance. So I got the new pills, some new meds for the ADD situation, and some new information about my affliction. Good times.

We also managed to see one of Paul's old Marine buddies, squeezed in game 4 of the Cubs-Astros wildcard series (Cubs lost!) and watched "Serenity" on Sunday night. So where it not for the problems listed yesterday and that includes getting lost so many stinking times it was a very good trip. I have to do it again in February, so I hope that I can find another traveling partner. Anybody free?

The trip, the breakfast and the moldy bucket

2005-10-04T22:27:00.000-05:00

Paul and I got back LATE last night (Monday) from Houston. After us both getting lost several times, a trip that led us both to south of Houston and a trip to Pauls Valley needlessly, we got in a bit before midnight. I dropped him off, got back to my parent's house, chatted with my dad for a few minutes then crashed into sweet relief.

Here's a tidbit about Houston you may not be aware of. Much like Washington D.C., a complete lunatic designed the street layout. Between a map given to me by the hospital, a Rand-McNally atlas and information from MapQuest.com, we still got lost more times than I really care to admit to my reading public. It was very embarrassing to be with a friend I've known since junior high that I am driving and I am in fact, completely unknowing of where we are at this very minute. I'm glad Paul kept a sense of humor about the whole thing because I was stressing (imagine that!) a tad so it was more of an adventure than a bad situation.

I would also like to mention that if you have a choice of staying at the Holiday Inn on 6800 S. Main St in Houston, that you do it during a time when there are not wall to wall refugees occupying it. We got a left-over 'non-smoking' room with two noticeable cigarette burns on a chair and one of the bedspreads, not to mention that the curtains smelled of "something evil" and that our ice bucket was not changed between our visit and the previous occupant's, as it contained about an inch of water and smelled strongly of mildew. Just yuck. I had no ice while staying there as I was afraid of what the public ice machine would have produced.

I know what some of you must be saying, "Jay's doing what he does best, bitch about a situation that wasn't as bad as he said it was." To that, I say "Ney ney." Paul can back me up on this one, I have a verifiable witness that I speak the truth. Oh, and do you know when you're at a bad breakfast buffet? When the head waiter gives you no notice at the downstairs restaurant in the hotel your staying in, the eggs dish and the potatoes dish have to share one crusty spoon, when the milk, orange juice and V8 pitchers they have are room temperature, when the cereal they offer is not in handy single-serve boxes but instead in a huge bowl with a tiny spoon so you can share germs with other nasty refuges that come down to a public restaurant in THEIR SMELLY BATHROBE AND SLIPPERS! Come on, black lady we saw... Don't set your race back 50 years by acting like a complete degenerate. Show some class, put on some clothes, try wearing shoes next time and the act of brushing your hair would have been a nice touch. Not a demand... Just a request that you not be a complete jackhole when getting your free hotel stay on. Thanks.

Other than getting lost, having a smelly room, watching social gotards slurp down breakfast and having no Cinamonster to mollify my anger, it was a very good trip. I'll write about that tomorrow, after I get my happy on. Word.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step

2005-09-28T19:22:00.000-05:00

I noticed today that my belt is loose. Not a whole lot mind you, but noticably enough to where there is slack where there was tension two weeks ago.

*concentraits*

"Think thin...think thin"

Walking, cheeks and exes

2005-09-27T23:33:00.000-05:00

Recently I've been on a walking kick. Must be the nice weather, because I love being outside in it. Yesterday I took first solo 4-mile walk. I went slower than I would have liked, but it was because I was improperly attired for such a long distance. Today I did a brisk 2.3 mile. It was also a nice path for the upcoming winter months. In the event of ice, it will be an easy walk to take. I'm hoping I can keep up the momentum.

Tonight for dinner I had cebeza. Rusty on your Spanish? It's what our neighbors to the south call 'calf cheek'. As disgusting as that might sound to some of you, it was a very delicious meal. A simple taco made with cebeza, onion and cilantro on a small flour tortilla. Yum... I might get brave and try the lengua next time.

Yesterday after my little hike I had just gotten out of the shower when I got a surprise visitor. Jennifer came up to Tulsa for some pet stuff for our old dog Mandy and a trip to Sam's. Between all that and a visit with her old boss, she snuck in a visit with me. We had lunch, ran out to PetSmart and saw a mulleted hoodlem take out trash at the 8th grade center. Ah... good times. I'm glad I got to stay friends with her, as I'm not one to forget people. Now I'm just hoping I can visit Norman again without bile rising in my throat...

And that's it. A whole love of nothing. Have you been to Homestar Runner in a while? No? Tsk tsk!

My secret spot

2005-09-25T09:45:00.000-05:00

I awoke this morning from a very odd dream. I had thought immediatly upon waking that I would want to blog this. I don't know why really, why any of you would want to know what I dream, but this is really more for me than you, so you can just skip this post.

This dream had in it a very cool locale to it. It it a reoccuring loction that I've dreamed of many times before. And everytime I dream it, I think to myself in the dream that I would like to bring other people with me sometime. This morning I got my chance.

I would like to describe for you my little secret spot in dream-land. The setting is sometimes different, but this is the gist. It's either in a forest, or behind a wall, but it's always really difficult and a little time-consuming to get to. The first path is a stone walkway, in a narrow waterway. It's built of stone, the waterway is, and to the right, invariably in the dream, is a large wall, with a lengthy hole that feeds water to a small pool. The pool feeds the waterway, and then empties to the other side into a waterfall. One would get the sense that if they lost their balance on the stone steps, which are covered in moss and a little slippery, they would either fall into the pool or fall off the waterfall to the left and possibly die on the rocks below. It's not a long drop, only about ten feet, but still...rocks! I've never lost my balance in these past dreams, and always the water is flowing, and there's that cool waterfall sound, with the smell of spring-fed water, rich with minerals. I love having this dream, as there is always something exciting in store.

Anyway, during this dream, the water was gone. I could see up beneath the wall, to where the water should be coming from. It was empty except for a few small puddles. The walkway in this dream was made of stone, but rather had heavy silt in it. The people I was with were walking in the silt, getting their shoes muddy, making it ugly and disturbing the natural look of the place, instead of just stepping on the stones, which were dry and not at all slippery. I had the impression that somebody had stopped the water flow with a dam and it rather hurt my feelings that I was bringing these people here, people I had wanted to bring for so long, that they were not seeing and experiencing everything I had wanted them to see like I normally do.

I should also point out that the people I brought were nobody I knew. They had some characteristics to people I know, but nobody with names. It was two anonymous couples, all with dark black hair and very lovely looking. They were dressed like they were going shopping (high healed shoes, nice expensive shirts) rather than exploring around in my dirty waterway.

Going on past the stone steps, the dream takes a different turn that what it normally is. Usually it leads to a stone wall, with a few stones removed. Inside is usually a very small room with only enough space for one person. This time it lead into a vast stone temple, with vines and kudzu everywhere, the air thick with humidity. Inside the temple there were tables and various ornate things, all either made of stone or bronze, up on a higher level sat a throne made of, you guessed it, stone. On the wall in front of me there is a very old mirror. It looks as if it was handmade by crude methods as the reflection is a little distorted due to it's not-so-smooth surface. One of the beautiful women in the group checks her reflection in the mirror and her friend tells her to stop, for that mirror will show you what's in your heart.

My curiosity is piqued and I go to check out the mirror myself. I walk past a stone table, with a dirty bronze plate on it, covered in cobwebs. I approach the mirror and one of the men in the group warns me again, "Don't look in that mirror!" but he turns around to look at other things, so I take to defying him.

I gaze long in this odd-shaped mirror, seeing only myself, then after about a minute I see other people in the reflection, behind me. I turn around and there is nobody there. I look again in the mirror, mindfull of the other two couples in the temple room with me, milling about as they are looking with curiousness at all the strange things in this abandoned temple. The mirror is hazy, but it again shows me with people behind me. They are all happy, as I am happy in the mirror. The guy that warned me of the mirror pushes me to the side, "I told you not to look in that mirror! It will ruin you!"

For some reason that was enough to shake me loose from my slumber and that was that. No more dream.

I liked the fact that it had the stone waterway, but disappointed that it wasn't how I normally dream it. I've thought that if I ever had a butt-ton of money I would have to build that waterway with the stone steps, the stone wall and tiny pool and the waterfall, all in the middle of some heavily wooded area, some ways away from easy access. Just to have my very own secret spot. Freaky mirror not included.

Red Badge of Courage

2005-09-23T07:52:00.000-05:00

Let me set the stage. My cat, as most cats do, love attention and will whore themselves out to just about anybody to have their heads rubbed. April is no exception and doesn't like other *things* that take my time and focus, as such she is extremely jealous of my computer, and will automatically come between me and my binary goddess whenever I come over here to do computy-things. Wednesday I was doing my post-shower ritual of checking my email, when the cat thought to herself that she needed some lovin'. Usually, she will step on the back of the chair, above the cushion and onto my shoulder. Unfortunate for me and my un-clothed back, that did not go as planned that morning. This time she stepped on the cushion, cushion folded under her weight and as she was falling with the grace of a cinder block, dug a bloody trench with her claws the length of my spin. So naturally I cussed as loud as I possibly could, with fire and brimstone coming forth from my lips, throwing thunder and lightening with my verbal assault. I'm sure my mother would be proud...

Anyway, yesterday I had an itch on my back and while I was scratching it, I felt the scab the cat's actions left. I looked in the mirror and sure enough, it's a tiny jagged line about 2 feet straight down from my shoulder blades to my waist. It was a little tender, but oh-so-awesome looking. Now I'll hopefully have a scar I can impress people with.

I'll be down at the pub, swapping stories with the local drunkards. "Oh, that was good scar story Bob, but let me show the one I got from a knife fight in Cambodia..." I'll whip off my shirt and after all the smaller women faint from my pure manliness, the rest of the bar will line up to buy me drinks.

Hey, a little artistic license never hurt anybody. :)

Actually, it's not really that bad at all. But with an imagination like mine, I can mold it into something better. Anything. Weapon-X surgury, bum fight out behind Kroger's, tussle with wild beasts while out saving babies from tornados... I'll think of something.

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Wishing lots of luck to my buddy Scott who is doing a very good Samaritan thing and taking much-needed supplies to the unfortunate people in the Gulf Coast area. He's a good Christian man, and is capable of turning out a comic strip or two (the two we're waiting on) when he wants. Prayers and well-wishes are with you Mr. Roche! Ship us some boudain if you can. heh...

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Talked to Paul last night, we're still on like Donkey Kong for the trip to Houston. I am just hoping that there isn't going to be a big problem getting around down there. The news said that the highway closed and several businesses have closed shop until Rita blows herself out, so staying at a hotel might be tougher than I thought, in addition to the several hundred refugees from N'awlins already there that might have taken up bording at the Holiday Inn.

Either way, shouldn't be a big deal. If I have to reshedule my appointment, it won't be a hassle. I've waited 16+ years to talk to someone credible, I can wait until after the new year if need be.

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Have you had your sticky buns this morning?

Once upon a lifetime only comes around once

2005-09-19T23:48:00.000-05:00

This gives me hope for the future. :)

Had a great dinner with Pat tonight, watched Star Trek 3. Came home and had a cigarette while smelling the field of sage just outside my apartment door. Now I'm drinking water while watching cartoons, about to go to bed, just waiting on laundry to be done.

I really enjoy this feeling. It's a mix of 'enjoying the weekend" and "hope for the future" kind of thing going on in my head. I wish this feeling would never go away. But it will, so that's a little sad, but it's also good to know that better times are ahead. Having faith was never a problem for me, it was having to wait while the things I had faith in took effect. heh...

Hey, it's Fullmetal Alchemist! Hooray!

Drunk and a little funny looking

2005-09-16T20:46:00.000-05:00

Ok, I dug up some old pictures of me at my cousin Brian's first wedding, and remembered the awesome time I had at the reception. If you feeling lucky, ya punks, check out my wild times with a lampshade on my head.

Click here for me all loosey-goosey.

:) Don't hate me afterwards...

It's Zack....ZACK!

2005-09-15T16:50:00.000-05:00

I think with all this celery and V8 I'm ingesting there's only one thing that can make it worth my while. And that would be a good mix of vodka to go along with it. Hey, if I'm going to forgo donuts and ice cream, why not toast my liver while I'm at it, right?

Those that have heard the above lyric (which is only three people that read this blog) know the genius of that song. Got it stuck in my head for some reason... ;-)

Going to Houston in 2 weeks and 2 days, after that it's another 2 week wait and then I head to New York. I'll be a busy boy in October. Working this Sunday for a co-worker so no Ada trip, which means I won't get to see the new part-time bartender at Papa Gjorgio's. Double damn.

Also, it's only one week until what would have been a my four-year anniversary. But that's been broken, so now September 22nd will just be Neay's birthday.

Lastly, I've got three questions for ya... How do you feel? What do you think? Whatcha gonna do?

Know the answers?

Origami Assassin

2005-09-15T09:48:00.000-05:00

Since I've been making the tiny paper cranes, I've been storing them up on the back of the couch. This morning I'm going through my mail and April jumps up and starts biting one of the folded birds with vigor. I missed the best shot as she stopped doing the funny stuff as soon as I got the camera, but proof exists that she has tasted paper...and she likes it.

I'm going to have to put her down now... ;)

And yeah, I feel better after working out. A little goes a long way in raising my spirits.

Better not to be sick

2005-09-15T07:34:00.000-05:00

Woke up with a scratchy throat this morning. Ick...

On the plus side I've caught up on all my bills. Yaa!

On the down side I can't afford that pony I've had my eye on since I was 12. Boo!

On the plus side I've eating healthy again. Yaa!

On the down side I am already sick of salad. Ick...

...and of celery, and V-8, and chicken. Need a new direction. Having a workout partner would be good. As would getting a bajillion bucks, but I think obtaining one is a tad easier than obtaining the other.

Feh, I'm going to go work out. Maybe that will cheer me up.

Article 17 is ok by me...

2005-09-11T08:41:00.000-05:00

heh... I know what you're going to think, "Geez, another stupid link!" Trust me, this one is well worth it. It's funny in the way of "Upright Citizens Brigade" funny. Subtle, but totally awesome.

Check that thang out!

Dude, did I use 'totally awesome' in a sentence? That is SO not radical nor wicked...

I love Squirrels + D'Kay!

2005-09-10T15:44:00.000-05:00

As with any Foamy rant, I should add with the link a note that there is some strong language therewithin. I've only posted one other one of these, for the A-Kon rant the fine folks at Ill Will Press did, and this one was too good not to make you aware of it again. Our favorite cartoony hyperactive squirrel goes off on the people that are not doing their part for the Katrina sufferers. Click the link on the bottom left labeled "FOAMY HURRICANE REPORT" and give some money if you can afford it to some people who can't.

Sure, it's not high society humor, but I like it. :)

Also, Delaney get's hitched next Saturday, so there's one more I won't be getting. I'm wishing her and the other Jay good times and a great life together. A few of you have met her and I've gushed about her to the rest that haven't. She's an awesome gal and deserves lots of happiness, I just hope this doesn't mean she will stop wearing PVC clothing... ;)

So Good Luck Delaney and go watch Foamy!

Fighting Mice and Taking Names

2005-09-06T19:36:00.000-05:00

Tonight I got the ultimate in rodent-fighting technology...

....a cocktail sword.

A translucent blue sword at that. It was affixed to my sandwich to either hold it in place or to punish it for being not at all healthy. In the case I have to shrink down to fight Despereaux Tilling for a spool of red thread I will be well prepped to handle the duel. I should also point out that these were a favorite of mine when I was a kid. It's not often an 8-year-old gets to go to restaurants or events that have hors d'orves or special drinks that require 'fruit flair', so when the time came and I got a tiny plastic sword that would fit both G.I. Joe AND He-Man, then it was on. On like Donkey Kong! Take THAT Skeletor!!

On a totally unrelated note, I found out that my company benefits entitle me to get assistance with nicotine addiction and will offer me a 15% discount to cigary.com, which sells, of course, cigars and smoking paraphanalia. I love commerce! I also love rubbing against people on the bus, but that's another blog post.

Note to Yellowfish: Your INXS tapes are in my possession. Should I listen or should I degauss? Mwahahaha!!

Note to Jen: The Greek Festival that we could have attended back in September of 2001 is doing it again this year. The dates: September 22nd - 24th... Weird, huh? ;-)

Note to Superpope (who will never read this): Glad to hear your doing better. Next time, try letting those of us you don't talk to often know when you're going under the knife.

Last but certainly not least, Note to Patrick: I'm sorry I didn't come out and visit with your mom more. I hope she can heal and rest after the ordeal she has been through the past year or so. My thoughts are with her and Arvell's family.

That's it folks. Closing time, once last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer. Closing time, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here...

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I would also like to point your attention to the left side of the blog and you'll notice a plethora of links. Most of these are blogs of personal friends, others are ones that have found me, or I got pointed to. A really good read today is "Dusty 2" which deals with Kayne West's recent statement that "Bush hates black people!". I have my own thoughts and those I will keep, but I thought this point of view needed to be said, and nobody says it better than Dusty Scott. Give 'er a looksee.

Kids these days

2005-09-01T23:36:00.000-05:00

I'm going to take you back, back all the way to 1986. It was Christmas break, I was over at my aunt Connie's house, my cousin Kim had rented the soon-to-be classic film "Better Off Dead". 90 minutes later I had fallen in love with Camero's, snow skiing and Diane Franklin. I wanted to be Lane Meyer. I thought that would have been the coolest thing when I was 12.

Later that same Christmas holiday, with my cousin Stephen staying at our house for a few days, I got to know the joys of Van Halen. My little stereo got heavy play of Jamie's Cryin', Everybody Wants Some! (from 'Better Off Dead!"), Push Come To Shove, and just about everything on 1984. I also got some Poison and Ratt, but Van Halen was the big one that Christmas. Anyway, I got to listen to Eddie wail on that guitar and would sit in my room, thinking about one day playing the ax just like that.

And then it comes down to tonight...

Tonight I'm coming home from work and listening to 'Love Line' as usual, and tonight's guest was wunderkid Andy Milinokis. I'll admit to knowing just about absolutely nada about this man-child so I made it a point to check out why he was getting his 15 minutes in the limelight. As I was pulling into my spot here at Casa de Craphole, one of the callers claimed to 'love Andy so much!" He said he was always doing his bits to his friends at school, everyone thought he was great. And then it came out. "I idolize you, man!"

Dear Lord in Heaven.

When did America start producing crap idols? I had a Camero-driving, French girl-dating hero and a guitar god to look up to, but kids these days have some chubby geek that sang some stupid song on his webcam. I usually spout the acclaims of the internet, but not this time. This is just...silly. Ok, granted... looking up to John Cusack and Eddie Van Halen when I was 12 wasn't exactly the coolest thing I've done, I know I could have done worse, but the callers on 'Love Line' tonight were 17 and 19 years old. That seems a little old to wanting to emulate someone like Andy Milinokis.

Anyway, I know real heros when I see them now. People like this...

...not so much.

So, I don't know... just wanted to rant a bit about a sad trend here in the world today. I remember watching The Breakfast Club, wanting to be Bender, or listening to Billy Joel and thinking that if I could play piano well I could get a girl like Christy Brinkly (hey, I could dream), but come on. Singing a goofy song about peas and bees does not a worthy childhood hero make.

Sheep.

If you have ovaries, I will dislike you

2005-08-31T17:40:00.000-05:00

I had built my confidence up the past week or so, meeting a girl that lives close to me. We talk in passing, I'll play with her little dog, seemed really nice, very cute, no ring and best of all she was never seen with another guy...it seemed so perfect. I had no reason for me not to ask her out.

Today I gathered some nerve and I asked her if she would like to go out sometime.

"I, erm, I can't. I'm sort of involved..."

"Oh, ok... I understand... It's cool..."

"No, it's not that...I'm married, I thought you knew?"

"I thought you lived alone?"

"I do, we're seperated... I found him cheating with my sister but he wants to work it out, so we're going to try to do that."

*mentially slaps head*
*******************************
What is it with women I'm attracted to? I can't get anywhere. If it's not one that says I'm great but doesn't want to be with me, it's the other that wants to work it out with some jerk that cheats on her (no comments from the peanut gallery), I can't figure them out. What's the deal?

Seriously, help me out. Am I that hidious/controlling that I'm not a fun person to be around if you're a member of the opposite sex? Granted, I'm a big guy, but I'm working on that... Maybe I should look up that post-op trannie from my Yahoo Personals... >:(

INXS? More like INXSucks!

2005-08-27T18:11:00.000-05:00

I keed, I keed...

Had breakfast this morning with my new crew at the Barrel of Crackers. It felt odd eating there without Patrick, seeing as every meal save one in the past three years that I've had there has been with him. It was a nice meal, as every guy brought their beautiful wives and the two single guys at the table somehow wind up next to each other. As Deleany would say, it was a sausage-fest.

Anyway, I got on a minor discussion with Ed's wife Emily about INXS. She's been watching the new show about their search for a new lead singer and apparently was quite the fan back in her day. And I'm cool with that, I'm not one to knock musical preferences (Rasputina shall remain out of this convo), but I am unaware that anybody could be a fan of INXS.

To my recollection, they had all of three songs. In order, they were: Need You Tonight, New Sensation and Devil Inside. That is it. I have been told by Ed's feisty better half that I am entirely misinformed and that she would more than happy to loan me her cassette tapes to brush up on my obvious lacking in pre-suicide Hutchence material.

Now granted, this would be like some schmoe meeting me for the first time and telling me that the Pixies or Barenaked Ladies are complete hacks and from there on out it would just be a tornado of fingernails and teeth. If I may quote Dane Cook, "Shit would be on! On like Donkey Kong!" I'm willing to look past my musical lackings (I'm sure Brigette could more than retell of my asking on several occassions "Who is this?") and give them a listen to. I know several of my favorite bands have great songs that nobody knows simply because those songs are not played on the radio. And thats all I know of INXS, nothing but their radio stuff.

Ok, granted, this was a fluff post. I apologize for that. Just felt I had to write something but the sad-sack stuff I'm prone to post more often than I really care to. Still having more trouble in the post-breakup than I had thought I would. Anyway, going to try and be more cheerful.

To say I'm sorry, here is a pic of Amanda Palmer from the Dresden Dolls:

Any woman that can have scroll work for eyebrows is ok in my book.

Reason and Accountibility

2005-08-25T18:54:00.000-05:00

Do you know how somebody wins the lottery and the everybody will chime in, "That person is so lucky!". Or if a kid get a cool bike for Christmas, all his friends will think he's a lucky kid. Or a man lands the job of his dreams, the people around him will no doubt crown him a lucky guy.

Want to know what I think of lucky? Lucky is knowning what you want and being in a position to do something about it. A lot people can do one or the other, but I believe a rare few can do both. And to me, that is holding the requirements of being 'lucky'.

Are you lucky?

Dear OKC, You suck. Love, Jay

2005-08-23T21:33:00.000-05:00

There are two movies coming out that I would really like to see, and naturally they are only showing at a few theaters in the state. And to add insult to injury, these cinemas are only in the OKC area.

For various reasons, I find that this really sucks.

Both the Aristocrats and the 25th Anniversay Re-release of The Blues Brothers with Live! sat-cast after the film with Dan Ackroid and John Landis are going to be playing far, far from Tulsa. I really should have just moved to Dallas when I had the chance...

Grrr.

The wedge that wouldn't leave

2005-08-22T13:11:00.000-05:00

Last night a small group of us celebrated Patrick's 32nd birthday. Kevin, New-Guy-Derek and his wife Laurie and myself had dinner with the old man at Lone Star Steakhouse. It wasn't super busy, around 7 on a Sunday night, so for this odd phenomena (sing it Jen!) that I am about to explain to happen, it's just...funny.

If you're not familier with the Lone Star menu, I will give you a brief rundown of their salad options. When one orders a steak, they have their choice of either a house salad with various dressings to top it, or a wedge of lettuce covered in bleu cheese dressing and chopped tomatoes. Indeed, the picture in the menu made it look heavenly. And of course, as I am always up to try something culinarily different, it seemed nice to try something new.

The other four boring people at the table had 'normal' sald, but I took one for the team and orderd the everlasting wedge. I should state right here that in the picture, the visual image does not do justice to just how large this damn thing is. When they delivered my greens, I knew I was in for a task unto which even Beowulf himself would have just "Screw it!" and let Grendel eat the village. I really wish I had brought my camera so I could give you sight into that what had laid before me. It really was a really big wedge of lettuce.

And a big wedge it was. A full quarter of a large head of iceberg, with the core removed is what they placed in front of me. To be fair this wasn't a bad dish, it was washed and dried, and tasted very delicious, but just way to much for a pre-meal salad.

Anyway, back to why this was supposed to be a humorous post in the first place...

Our waiter came back eventually and picked everyone's salad remains BUT mine. I had thought that maybe he was just busy, might have missed it, to much in his hands...whatever reason to miss it. I didn't give it serious thought at first and we were all talking geek speak, boring Laurie I'm sure, just having fun, general dinner table conversation. Our drinks were refilled, our meal came and placed in front of us, and STILL the waiter and other staff that came by never picked it up or took it away. Even with a gentle prod of the plate whenever waitstaff would pass by did nothing to get the wedge away from me. When they picked up our dinner plates I was sure they would get the cursed dish away from me this time. "Ney ney" I say. The dish stayed by my side.

When it was time to pay the bill, I even went so far as to place the tab book under the edge of the plate, so that it would fall with a "thunk" when our waiter took it, but to no avail... the wedge remained and our waiter remained unawares. Before we left, I finally had to ask they guy why he never took it. He stared at me blankly and was told the he must have just 'missed it' over the course of the ENTIRE FREAKIN' MEAL. Derek and Pat come up with the theory that there was a betting pool back in the kitchen to see how long they could keep that stupid piece of lettuce on the table before one of us spoke up. He had to know something was up, as we would bust out laughing everytime he passed by, and we know this as he actually asked why we did this. None of us wanted to give it away just yet, so we kept in on the down-low, as the kids these days say. But come on. How do you actually miss an oval plate with what would have been a full 1/8 of a head of lettuce on there? Especially over a one hour period?

All in all we had fun. Patrick escaped being sung to, even though two other people there at the restaurant failed to do so. We tried to be on our best behavior around Derek's wife, but I'm afraid our more base male humor came through (really must watch that in the future). Pretty fun night I would say. Now if I could only start making money like a Risk Analysist I would be sitting pretty. ;-)

I just got my free ice cream maker in the mail on Saturday and I'm about ready to try it out. Thinking Mint Chocolate Chip should be first... Hmmm, yup. Think so.

Giving it another go

2005-08-19T21:25:00.000-05:00

Finally got around to calling the specialist in Houston, with a little prodding from my mother. And I have set up an appointment for October 3rd, to see what an actual qualified doctor would have to say about T.S. Mind you, this guy actually has a webpage, with his qualifications on it. I'm feeling pretty good about this one.

Since my normal cross-country driving partner is busy with other things, I will be driving down with my father. That's 8 hours of cowboy music. Non-stop.

I'm already thinking about "Cool, clear water"...

God help me. ;-)

Relinquishing the King Bonehead crown

2005-08-18T23:42:00.000-05:00

Tonight, on "Loveline" with Adam Corrola and Dr. Drew Pinski, the guests were Jared Leto and his band 30 Seconds To Mars. This part isn't important, but what he said was.

Jared was talking about his avid fan base and how they are very detail-oriented, as in making home-made clothes. He was talking about how some of of his tattoos tied into this and he used the word "symbology" and immediately my ears perked up. I quickly called Pat and told him. I was, for a lack of a better word, giddy.

In the dark on this one? Well that just shows that you've never watched a really great movie about two Irish brothers who punch out a lesbian. And shoot some people. And need some rope. And...well, just watch it, well worth it.

Can't see in the dark

2005-08-18T22:32:00.000-05:00

Since I've gotten into the origami thing, I've found it helps with controling my tics. Between all the money that has been spent on 'self-hypnosis' tapes, books, pamplets(which are free), consults, doctor visits and various types of drugs, it has come down to folding tiny paper cranes that calms me the most.

I really looking forward to having my first guitar lesson. I'm going to call tomorrow and set the plan up. That's right. I'll have my own plan. Haiku-Girl seems to think that a guitar can get me some womens, and I would like some womens, seeing as how all my old womens have new mens. Ergo, I am womens-less.

And oh yeah, my co-workers suck. Big bunch of jerks... ;-) Playing pranks on a poor petite waifish thing such as myself. That's ok, I'll get even. Even Stephen. Hell yeah.

The cough, the virus and the cat

2005-08-17T10:31:00.000-05:00

Three things, all quick, so keep up.

I have this cough. It has stayed with me for the better part of 8 years now. I'm going back to the doctor on Friday to have this checked out. I'm tired of coughing. Coughing sucks. Coughing 'bites the big one' as the kids say these days. Looking forward to whatever pills and syrups and powders and elixars and tonics and a big stone mortar and pestile to grind up some roots and bark and whatever else my apothicary can give me to stop this freakin' cough.

Viruses suck. Big time. But not so bad when you've got a team of very smart individuals kicking ass and taking said virus's name. Might I be so bold as to toot my own horn and the horn of my team? Yes. Yes, I think I might. Toot toot! There, and don't I feel better for it.

My cat will not stop clawing at the carpet. If I don't find a solution quick I'm going to start noticing bald spots in the floor and I'm pretty sure if I can see them, then the managerial staff of the apartment complex can see them too. Besides de-clawing and pissing her off, how can I make her use the shread board I got for her? Do I need a bigger one? A full-size cat box? Special sprays? I don't know!

*cough cough*

I'm going to go hack up my left lung. I'll talk to you guys later.

Herkaleez! Herkaleez! Herkaleez!

2005-08-13T08:38:00.000-05:00

Had a date last night, drank way to much, stayed up way to late talking. Got home, didn't drink my water like I KNEW I should have and now I've got a raging headache and a bit of a sour stomach.

Gonna be a long day...

And for Ed and Chad, I give you these: Dirty Sanchez, Pepe Lopez, Hot Karl, Hot Lunch, personal favorite Baked Potato, and lastly the Whitman Sampler. If you read these at all, you cannot hold anything against me for it. I just simply put the links up, it's your judgement call to read them or not. No dirty pictures, but very descriptive text. And oh yeah, that last one was written by someone you may know...

No need for nastiness

2005-08-11T10:00:00.000-05:00

I don't need anyone getting nasty on here, no need for 'cattiness' and certainly no call for rallying in the defence of my wilted pulminary unit. I appreciate all the "gotcher backs" and "giv'er hell" but really there is no need. And no need to drag someone's name down. By this point all I want to do is be friends with everybody, even if I can't date them. If you're a friend of mine, that means I love you. Yeah, I said it. So what? It's not a 'shag them on the carpet" kind of love and it's not a "buy flowers for on Valentine's Day" kind of love. But it certainly is a "I would feel terrible if this person left my life forever" kind of love. And if I call you a friend, that's how I feel about you. Doubley so for Patrick since he has a sweet ass... ;-)

And even though we have our differences, and yes, some people think it would better if I cut all ties, I consider Brigette a friend. We've known each other for over a third of my very wizended life and we've both been through some weird shit together. It would be a shame to do so just because she doesn't see anything datable in me. Hell, I don't see anything datable in me. Someone should give Jennifer an award just for having the courage to marry me for three years.

In short, I thank you for your firm support and even stronger words, but I would also like it if noone is run down on here on the blog. We're adults (physically at least) and should act accordingly (for the most part). In the words of Rodney King, "Can't we all...just..g-g-get along?"